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Is sending me money a red flag?

387 replies

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 08:52

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

OP posts:
BorderTerrierTimesThree · 11/05/2025 09:55

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:52

What do you mean by dodgy ?

He is already telling you he wants you to stay where he tells you, pay for things you didn’t ask for (flights), who does that for a stranger?
It’s a manipulation tactic.
You’re asking if this is a red flag, of course it is! Follow your guy not your wallet.

BunnyLake · 11/05/2025 09:55

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 08:57

How ?

It’s such a weird thing to even enter your head, (joking or otherwise), that’s why you’re coming across as a red flag.

Fastingandhungry · 11/05/2025 09:55

You will mature one day bless you.

Horses7 · 11/05/2025 09:54

You both sound hard work - block him and find someone else.
ps ……and don’t ask the new one for money repeatedly. 🚩🚩🚩

Whattheduck · 11/05/2025 09:53

It gets more bizarre by the minute you both sound desperate

untilido · 11/05/2025 09:52

Namechangeforthis88 · 11/05/2025 08:55

The red flag is you keep asking for money.

This.

it wasn’t a joke, jokes are funny and make people laugh. It was an effort at control, manipulation and not a nice look.

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:52

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:51

Yes we’ve had like 10 video chats already

What do you mean by dodgy ?

OP posts:
Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:51

BorderTerrierTimesThree · 11/05/2025 09:50

Have you had a video chat with him to make he is actually the person (and age) he’s telling you he is??
He sounds dodgy and you sound vulnerable to be honest.

Yes we’ve had like 10 video chats already

OP posts:
Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:50

Init4thecatz · 11/05/2025 09:44

If you've been together a while, asking where you live is fine. They'll know where you live anyway if you take them home that night.

Saving pictures and wanting to see you and buying tickets is also fairly normal. I'm not really sure what this is meant to add, and comes off as a slight humble brag.

We’ve only talked for 4 weeks … He shouldn’t want to know my exact apartment…

OP posts:
Alwayswonderedwhy · 11/05/2025 09:50

You're both acting strangely. Asking for money as a joke would be a red flag for me.

BorderTerrierTimesThree · 11/05/2025 09:50

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:41

He Wants to know what exact apartment I live in when I move out there
He saves my pictures to his phone

he wants to pay for my ticket out there to go see him, and wants me to stay with him instead of staying in a hotel….

Have you had a video chat with him to make he is actually the person (and age) he’s telling you he is??
He sounds dodgy and you sound vulnerable to be honest.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 11/05/2025 09:50

I'd say you're the red flag here. You keep asking him for money. Even as a joke, who does that?

VickyEadieofThigh · 11/05/2025 09:48

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:34

You guys I sent the money back and he wouldn’t take it….. he sent me the money through cash app not a bank this isn’t the 70s we’re 24

he just got out of a 4 year relationship 2 months ago ….

So you know he's vulnerable and yet you're suggesting HE is the unreasonable one...

ifionlyhadacat · 11/05/2025 09:45

You are effectively selling yourself

FiveShelties · 11/05/2025 09:45

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:41

He Wants to know what exact apartment I live in when I move out there
He saves my pictures to his phone

he wants to pay for my ticket out there to go see him, and wants me to stay with him instead of staying in a hotel….

Haha, course he does 🤔

Aboutmeabouttime · 11/05/2025 09:45

sounds like one of those scams - he sends you small amount of money, gains your trust then some emergency/disaster happens to him, he asks you, you trust him/feel obliged etc etc. or maybe I’m jaded 😆

babystarsandmoon · 11/05/2025 09:44

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:41

He Wants to know what exact apartment I live in when I move out there
He saves my pictures to his phone

he wants to pay for my ticket out there to go see him, and wants me to stay with him instead of staying in a hotel….

I stand by what I said earlier in the thread - He will want ‘payment’ and you will owe him.

Send any money back and block him.

Init4thecatz · 11/05/2025 09:44

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:41

He Wants to know what exact apartment I live in when I move out there
He saves my pictures to his phone

he wants to pay for my ticket out there to go see him, and wants me to stay with him instead of staying in a hotel….

If you've been together a while, asking where you live is fine. They'll know where you live anyway if you take them home that night.

Saving pictures and wanting to see you and buying tickets is also fairly normal. I'm not really sure what this is meant to add, and comes off as a slight humble brag.

Hoppinggreen · 11/05/2025 09:44

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:41

He Wants to know what exact apartment I live in when I move out there
He saves my pictures to his phone

he wants to pay for my ticket out there to go see him, and wants me to stay with him instead of staying in a hotel….

Well he has paid and now he expects delivery of the goods

Itisjustmyopinion · 11/05/2025 09:43

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:41

He Wants to know what exact apartment I live in when I move out there
He saves my pictures to his phone

he wants to pay for my ticket out there to go see him, and wants me to stay with him instead of staying in a hotel….

Ah you have jumped the shark now OP but if this is real (big if) why do you need to ask a bunch of strangers if this is odd?

babystarsandmoon · 11/05/2025 09:43

You still had to sent him the details whether it was via your bank or cash app.

PrincessOfPreschool · 11/05/2025 09:43

Namechangeforthis88 · 11/05/2025 08:55

The red flag is you keep asking for money.

Exactly. As a 'joke'. Repeatedly?

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 11/05/2025 09:42

I would have instantly sent him the money back. Why didn't you?

Hoppinggreen · 11/05/2025 09:42

Namechangeforthis88 · 11/05/2025 08:55

The red flag is you keep asking for money.

Agree, you are asking him for money and he is sending it.
He should be the one who is concerned not you

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:41

He Wants to know what exact apartment I live in when I move out there
He saves my pictures to his phone

he wants to pay for my ticket out there to go see him, and wants me to stay with him instead of staying in a hotel….

OP posts: