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Original poster

Is sending me money a red flag?

387 replies

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 08:52

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

OP posts:
ohyesido · 11/05/2025 10:23

You asked him for money, he sent it and you said it wasn’t enough? That’s the red flag right there

dawngreen · 11/05/2025 10:20

I would not want him coming to my place.. He could be dangerous for all you know.

DontMindMeJust · 11/05/2025 10:19

Who the hell asks someone for money like that? 😅

Bellyblueboy · 11/05/2025 10:18

I would never even jokingly ask a man for money. I would find it odd that he sent it to me.

he sounds at best damaged and naive - at worst obsessive and controlling.

you should also consider how you are interacting with these men and why money has become such an issue with a man you don’t know. Are you giving the impression you want money from him?

DefinitelyMaybe92 · 11/05/2025 10:16

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 10:12

I was asking him about the areas in the state he lives in that I’m moving to… he wouldn’t give me any information until I told him what apartment I was moving to out there?

he kept saying “I’m not a weirdo or a stalker why can’t you tell me the name of your new apartment”…..

absolutely not just cause I give you attention and talk to you on the phone doesn’t mean I’m that naive to even give up that type of information

With this new info I’m not sure why you’re asking because he very obviously is a red flag isn’t he? Stop asking him for money. Block him. Move on. Stay safe.

LittleMonks11 · 11/05/2025 10:16

You’re the red flag

WatchMyChops · 11/05/2025 10:15

OP, just block the guy and move on. And you seem very immature for your age. Please stop “jokingly” asking for money. It’s not funny. And you made the same “joke” multiple times.

MzHz · 11/05/2025 10:14

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:56

He also has asked me multiple times while on the phone with him, who I was texting ? Apparently he can he hear my nails typing ??

WTAF!

he’s showing you ALL the signs of being an extremely controlling and manipulative man

this is love bombing, it’s absolutely not right and your instincts are telling you something is wrong.

lets forget about the money bollocks, that was stupid if you, but it is showing you that this relationship isn’t right. You sent the money back, all good, but trust your gut.

phase this guy out. Or just leave it, up to you the speed of this, but he’s bad news.

XiCi · 11/05/2025 10:12

It sounds like he doesn't get your sense of humour and also that he's a bit thick. Neither qualities I woukd want in a boyfriend so I would not be wanting to meet up with him.

99namechanges · 11/05/2025 10:12

Just stop talking to him. Block him and move on.

FOJN · 11/05/2025 10:12

You asking for money is a bit of a red flag, who does that?

He could be vulnerable or you might have found yourself a "pay pig", it's a fetish.

I wouldn't meet him and I sure as hell would not stay with him on first meeting.

Whatever is going on it's already dysfunctional and will end badly.

You will continue because it's fun but FFS be careful.

Original poster
Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 10:12

I was asking him about the areas in the state he lives in that I’m moving to… he wouldn’t give me any information until I told him what apartment I was moving to out there?

he kept saying “I’m not a weirdo or a stalker why can’t you tell me the name of your new apartment”…..

absolutely not just cause I give you attention and talk to you on the phone doesn’t mean I’m that naive to even give up that type of information

OP posts:
Pompompurin1 · 11/05/2025 10:10

It’s more of a red flag that you “jokingly” (can’t see how it’s funny myself) ask him for money, repeatedly, after you know he has already sent it and is likely to send it again…

Hysterectomynext · 11/05/2025 10:10

You are a wall of red flags. Poor guy

chickenlettuceunderbacon · 11/05/2025 10:08

Depending on the user name(s), CashApp (if it is this app the OP is using), is anonymous. However, just because someone sends you money, it does not mean you have to cash it out.

I think you both sound awful, you for asking for coffee money, even jokingly. He sounds possessive, more so given he wants to know who you're texting. As a reminder, until you meet, it's not real. This is not real. It's just video calls and the like. Your best bet is to simply block, cut contact and move on. If you continue, can only conclude you're desperate. Why? Because you're 24 years old and about to move to a new state. You'll meet other men. You don't need to put this egg in your basket.

category12 · 11/05/2025 10:08

It sounds kind of like you're fulfilling some kind of fetish, like fin-domme or something.

I wouldn't meet him.
You don't know what he thinks he's bought.

DefinitelyMaybe92 · 11/05/2025 10:06

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:56

He also has asked me multiple times while on the phone with him, who I was texting ? Apparently he can he hear my nails typing ??

Just the thought of that sound goes through me, but that’s by the by… stop talking to him if you think he’s weird. Stop asking him for money. Stop giving him details. Block him and move on.

Augustus40 · 11/05/2025 10:05

I disagree with all these replies disapproving of this. Each to their own. If he enjoys being financially dominated then let him crack on!

DefinitelyMaybe92 · 11/05/2025 10:04

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:34

You guys I sent the money back and he wouldn’t take it….. he sent me the money through cash app not a bank this isn’t the 70s we’re 24

he just got out of a 4 year relationship 2 months ago ….

What on earth is a “cash app”?

You asked for money, he sent it to you. If you think it’s weird then stop asking him for money.

IttyBittyLittleKitty · 11/05/2025 10:03

How did he have your details to send you money on a cash app? And why did you accept it?

Augustus40 · 11/05/2025 10:00

Not RTFT but some men wish to be financially dominated. I wish I had extra funds coming in!

cestlavielife · 11/05/2025 09:58

He is creepy and will keep you as a slave
Just stop.
Meet him when you out there but do not agree to stay at his house til you know him where he works and his mates and family

workingcocker · 11/05/2025 09:58

I don’t think is right for either of you. Cut him off and look elsewhere.

TalkToTheHand123 · 11/05/2025 09:58

Before the asking who I was texting I would have said take all the money you can get. You can always reward him later if you like, but asking who you are messaging is a big no no.

Original poster
Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:56

He also has asked me multiple times while on the phone with him, who I was texting ? Apparently he can he hear my nails typing ??

OP posts: