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Original poster

Is sending me money a red flag?

387 replies

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 08:52

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

OP posts:
MaggieBsBoat · 11/05/2025 12:10

You OP are the red flag. Reverse the roles and think about it.

Petuniaspetal · 11/05/2025 12:03

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 08:52

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

I've watched a few of those netflix programmes ( watch them) where women get scammed. Reading your op makes me think of those.programmes. Remote relationship, sends money to lure you in then some time later he needs money and you reciprocate and he then starts to fleece you. Don't have anything to do with money either giving or receiving and be very very wary emotionally.

pinkyredrose · 11/05/2025 12:02

It's more of a red flag that you 'jokingly' keep asking for money. Mind games have no part in a healthy relationship, it may be time to grow up.

Guinessandafire · 11/05/2025 11:58

Are you looking for a sugar daddy your own age? no decent person asks for money ' jokingly' like this.

What do you think he will ultimately want for his investment?

Have a think about your behaviour

Augustus40 · 11/05/2025 11:55

The women on Love Rats were all very naive. No way would I have ever fallen for these men! I keep myself informed.

missmollygreen · 11/05/2025 11:54

The red flag here is you asking him for money. Not him sending you money

AcquadiP · 11/05/2025 11:50

It's a red flag that you're "jokingly" asking him for money which you accept, then asking him for more money and then suggesting he buy you a watch. It's possible he's kind-hearted and lonely. It's also possible he's giving you money because he's expecting sex in return.
Frankly, you're coming across as a user. Earn your own money and have some self-respect.

Fruitbat99 · 11/05/2025 11:39

Stop asking for money and mentioning things you want. Problem solved.

Tiegs · 11/05/2025 11:36

You shouldn’t be asking for money that’s so shitty from you it’s not a joke if you kept asking for more

MoominMai · 11/05/2025 11:36

@Kenyaparks sometimes controlling men have no qualms offering up money. The fact he keeps asking for details of your apartment when you’ve not met is a red flag. I get that you’re young and maybe playfully was moaning about coffee prices but the fact he didn’t think it was a joke and just sent it and is offering to pay for your flight, doesn’t want you in a hotel etc. It’s all too much red flags, too intense, too much confidence in wanting to know and control aspects which are nothing to do with him yet like you’ve not even met/agreed to a relationship. You say he’s just got out of a fairly LT relationship so there’s possible rebound issues in the mix also.

Would be a no for me. Do not need any of that at tender age of 24 imho!

Butchyrestingface · 11/05/2025 11:34

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:34

You guys I sent the money back and he wouldn’t take it….. he sent me the money through cash app not a bank this isn’t the 70s we’re 24

he just got out of a 4 year relationship 2 months ago ….

So you ‘jokingly’ asked him for money which he took seriously. He then wouldn’t accept it back.

So you decided to keep ‘jokingly’ asking him for more.

Right you are, hen.

He may or may not be a 🚩but you should come with neon flashing warning signs above your head.

honeyfox · 11/05/2025 11:32

I watched a couple of episodes of Love Rats yesterday. Every single woman looking for love online should watch it, it's shocking and very enlightening.

And both of you are showing red flags, block him!

Saracen · 11/05/2025 11:32

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:34

You guys I sent the money back and he wouldn’t take it….. he sent me the money through cash app not a bank this isn’t the 70s we’re 24

he just got out of a 4 year relationship 2 months ago ….

How do you mean "he wouldn't take it"? If it's possible to reject money which someone tries to send you via this app, why didn't you just reject the money when he tried to send it to you?

Swiftie1878 · 11/05/2025 11:26

Are you 12?
Stop playing dangerous games.

FridayNight1975 · 11/05/2025 11:25

don’t think asking you who you’re em texting while talking to him is necessarily a red flag.

it’s very annoying to be talking to someone, be it your partner, daughter, friend and see they’re distracted talking to someone else on the phone.

readingismycardio · 11/05/2025 11:21

You seem to be the red flag, though

Tulipsontoast · 11/05/2025 11:18

You sound incredibly immature.

Anewdawnanewname · 11/05/2025 11:14

Stop “joking” and asking him for money.

BumbleBeegu · 11/05/2025 11:13

Fucking hell! You’re the red flag here…you’re behaving like a FinDom and he’s your cash pig!

Just stop!

Bloodorangey · 11/05/2025 11:13

If you’re asking for money I assume you have a plan? Why are you asking us?

Emonade · 11/05/2025 11:12

Emonade · 11/05/2025 11:10

He’s clearly ‘into it’ I know someone who is. If you’re into it go for it but it certainly won’t be a relationship cos he’ll do it to other people. But if you’re looking to have a few months funded and have some fun go for it! You’re young!

Show quote history

Google findom!

Emonade · 11/05/2025 11:10

Kenyaparks · 11/05/2025 09:34

You guys I sent the money back and he wouldn’t take it….. he sent me the money through cash app not a bank this isn’t the 70s we’re 24

he just got out of a 4 year relationship 2 months ago ….

He’s clearly ‘into it’ I know someone who is. If you’re into it go for it but it certainly won’t be a relationship cos he’ll do it to other people. But if you’re looking to have a few months funded and have some fun go for it! You’re young!

PinkiOcelot · 11/05/2025 11:09

OP, delete his number and block him. The more you say about him are red flags. Him saying he isn’t a stalker etc, certainly looks like he is.

Waterweight · 11/05/2025 11:04

Sorry but I wouldn't give my information to somebody I didn't know any more then I would send somebody money i didn't know - I'm assuming your in America or Australia by the states bit ?

faerietales · 11/05/2025 11:00

He's a massive red flag but your behaviour isn't exactly normal either.