To think DSS should have wished me a happy Mother’s Day?

I think you’re taking it too personally too.

Fwiw I never get anything from my DSS, school always helped him make his step dad something which used to sting as his step dad was in and out the family home like the Hokey Cokey abusing drugs and alcohol. But I have always been a constant.

I can understand why you’re upset. But do keep in mind it is likely to be sheer thoughtlessness rather than there being any malice in it.

I remember instances of teenage thoughtlessness now, especially towards my parents/step parents and utterly cringe.

I did turn into a fairly thoughtful, normal adult though. I hope my parents don’t recall the times I was a thoughtless twat when young as clearly as I do!

@daffodil2025 she clarified this twice in her opening post.

I'm so sorry op. It's not a reflection on how he feels about your contributions I'm sure.

I’ve a 17 year old son and we have a wonderful relationship but it’s still his dad that pushes anything like Mother’s Day. He just doesn’t think.

Sorry OP but that’s a heck of a lot of responsibility to put on a young lad. I’m sorry things didn’t work out the way you hoped.

I also think you’re just a victim of teenage thoughtlessness/selfishness. I wonder if the card and flowers of previous years was driven by his Dad?
Don’t let it sour your relationship with him.

It does seem that you have invested more meaning in this than is perhaps warranted.
It is obvious that infertility is a very very painful thing for you, but him wishing or not wishing you HMD doesn’t invalidate the relationship you have with him every other day of the year. It can also be complicated for him- is giving you a card in some way a betrayal of his mother?

No, you’re not his mum. When he was little someone else probably prompted him too, but now he’s old enough to choose.

He's not going to be able to fill the hole i'm afraid, and he shouldnt be expected to. I suspect your partner did the organising before.

@Lostalongthewaayare you in the UK? Just wanted to check as it’s not Mother’s Day here today - it was in March I think. Sorry he’s forgotten - sounds very upsetting especially when he normally remembers you.

He’s a teenager. They can be selfish and extremely self consumed. Try not to take it personally as hard as it is. I’m sure in years to come when he’s a little more mature he will realise the meaning behind the day for you and will be more thoughtful.

Gently you are not his mum. He has his mum to wish happy Mother's Day to. Sounds like your dh did the organising previously.

I’d hazard a guess that DH usually prompts him to do something, and with him being away DSS like a typical teenager has just forgotten/not thought. Either that or if he’s currently living with his mum, he might be feeling unsure about the best thing to do/be worried about upsetting her. Be the bigger person and just let it go - it’s pretty certainly not a reflection of how he actually feels about you, your ongoing relationship is more important.

Mutiple suicide attempts can’t of been nice for dss to go through growing up. Unfortunately it sounds like your DH organised it before not dss.

You’re not his mum even if you have been part of his life, but also
multiple suicide attempts can’t have made for a happy home for the boy

If anything I've think you've unfortunately been treated like a mum of a teen boy- they're too old to be organised for, but are not the best at being thoughtful/planning/thinking ahead.
Yes, he should have if he has wanted to before and feels that way with you. However it sounds like DH organised SS prior to this.