Teenage DS masturbation detritus

It doesn’t matter what the tissues are used for.
How would you deal with it if the tissues were the result of a snotty nose or a nose bleed? You deal with this in the same way. You’re the person who’s making this into a problem.

I cringe when I think back to my pre-teen experiences, once I discovered wanking around 11 I was voracious. My room must have been a no go zone. For a few months I just " finished" on the sheets. I think after a few months I learned about discretion.

OP I smiled at "Another fear is that one of my DDs will go into DC’s room and see the evidence, which would lead to jokes etc which wouldn’t be fair." - I'd say that jokes for leaving jizz-rags lying around would be entirely fair!

Re the towel, Christmas is coming up, and quite a few men's toiletries gift sets come with a gym towel, if he was my son, he'd be getting one (at least) of those, so he wasn't using towels others have to use.

I can't imagine any circumstances in which I would have had "the masturbation talk" with a 12-year old grandchild. How the hell did the subject even arise, and doesn't he have a parent to talk to? I'm all for involved grandparenting, but this feels like a step too far.
Just noticed that this is a zombie thread as well, so even less reason to share it with us.

I think I need to go and bleach my eyes…

I have a 12 year old grandson that spends the night at my house frequently enough that I have extra clothes for him there along with a toothbrush and toiletries. We have a very good relationship where he's not afraid to tell me anything. We have had the masturbation talk and he knows that it's okay to do(in private)when he's spending the night. I put a stack of washcloths in his drawer for him to use for for masturbating and he throws them in the hamper afterwards. He also has a bottle of lotion and lube. I've never had to talk to him about cleaning up since he's not trying to hide anything. I guess my point is having an open, honest, nonjudgmental, non embarrassing and direct conversation can make this situation much easier.

‘Pleased for him’ gave me the ick.

Surely you would have talked to him about erections, right? That's part of puberty. And what happens and why they happen.

It sounds like you haven't had any talk at all, and just left him to find out on his own. That's sad. Especially in this day and age.

But presumably you've talked to him about porn, how women are treated and sex is portrayed in porn etc. so that's not far from a discussion about not being a dirty fecker with the tissues.

“Please can you stop wanking into the towels? Use tissues and put them in the bin after you. Thanks.”

Two (now adult) boys. I always found the direct approach worked best.

See, I find this so odd. I guess I AM old (two DDs grown up now) but I'm struggling to believe it's necessary to discuss masturbation with one's children, whatever sex they are. There's not really anything much to SAY about masturbation, is there, unlike consent, porn, managing periods, etc? - most kids discover it by themselves perfectly well and it's a private thing.

The used tissues is a different issue and needs addressing, but that they are being so casually left around doesn't make it sound like he's suffering any guilt or shame about it, OP, so if I were you, I'd spare him a mortifying conversation with his mother.

Of course he should be tidying his room.
There is no shaming him, if using a shared family towel is how they do things.
Absolutely disgusting.

My children have had their own towel from the youngest of age.
I had my own towel 50 years ago.
Its really not a new concept.
Its basic.

He needs a frank conversation if he thinks masturbation and wiping his penis with a shared family towel is the norm.

Bloody hell but that is grim.
I cannot fathom such behaviour when my boys were that age, and they were no angels either in the tidy bedroom area.

I think the different coloured towels idea is a good one. Then every couple of days given him a fresh bin liner and ask him to tidy up, empty the bin, knot the bag and bring it down. He might work out what you mean without the awkwardness.

You really need to get over the embarrassment and have the chat.

Have you not had a talk about sex, porn, consent etc? These are important conversations and no, I don't think they should be left to dad. It's good to show a woman's perspective.

I think boys would feel more comfortable discussing wanking with their father and girls more comfortable discussing periods with their mother.

That's normal and natural.

No, you don't want the household bathroom taken over by a teenage boy playing with himself! No one would get to use it. Bedroom is the best and least obtrusive place.

Didn't you ever have 'the talk' with your children prior to puberty? Surely the talk (if you did) covered masturbation? I could understand your attitude if this was the 1940s, but this is 2025. I thought parents would be extremely open in this day and age.

Sorry I just read back youre a SM. In that case yes, I’d be matter of fact about it - nothing else you can really do!

I would ask DH to say the towel thing tbh. A bit more relatable and less embarrassing for the both of them.

personally id act like i thought the tissues etc was for his nose and say if he has a runny nose and needs to wipe at least chuck the tissues after so you dont have to pick them up

“You’d be mortified if you could see my used tampons in the bin wouldn’t you? Exactly so how do you think I feel? Empty your bin son.”

It’s not a one to one comparison, tampons and ejaculate soaked tissues, but that will get the job done.

I actually think a bit of embarrassment can be useful in situations like this. Truth is, whether he's sharing a house with family, friends or a partner, he needs to be considerate about things like this. Nothing wrong with wanking, but it's private and so he needs to be discreet and that includes making sure any evidence is cleaned up and disposed of without anyone else encountering it. So he needs to be on top of emptying his own bin and either not using towels or if he is, washing them himself (def not your job!). He might be mortified at having a open discussion about it, but like I said, that can be a great motivator for more considerate behaviour as he'll likely not want to have a repeat conversation about it!

Absolutely this. What he does in his room is none of your business and hell would freeze over before I thought it appropriate to talk to a 14-year old son about masturbation, EXCEPT as to where it concerns you, as with the tissues.

Tell him, as per PP, to stop leaving tissues around and to empty his own bin. Buy him a couple of new, distinctive towels.

There is no need to say anything else at all.