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Original poster

Should a Brain Surgeon be up at night with a baby doing night feeds ?

388 replies

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 11/05/2025 00:12

Should a surgeon working full time, operating on patients each day be up with a baby at night doing 2/3 hourly feeds.

If they were operating in your child and had had only 3/4 hours sleep each night over the last fortnight would this be acceptable to you?

OP posts:
LoveWine123 · 11/05/2025 09:44

No, brain surgeons should not be doing night feeds or any childcare whatsoever. They should also not be doing any house work or have any other responsibilities in life (in case they get stressed out and can’t concentrate on operating). They should be well looked after and be waited on hand and foot to make sure they are fully relaxed and ready to face each operation with the freshest of minds (and hands). If you have a brain surgeon in your family, please please look after them well.

footpath · 11/05/2025 09:44

All these posters thinking neurosurgeons are millionaires. A senior registrar might earn £60k, not generally considered to be a massive salary. Consultants earn more, obviously, but many surgeons are not consultants.

IME Neurosurgeons tend to earn decent money and if female wait until they are a bit further in their career to have babies. They usually are married to partners who have similar jobs so household income is decent. Most importantly they tend to still come from a background where they get help with uni costs, house deposits etc.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 11/05/2025 09:43

On the nights before they are in work - clearly its inadvisable
Days off - yes they should help gove their partner a break why wouldnt they???

If you are on pat leave you should be helping...particularly immediately pp.

Babies need 2/3 hour night feeds for 3-4 months tops..

Night nanny is also an excellent option is these sorts of circs.

Nogg · 11/05/2025 09:40

mums get maternity leave unless the dad is on paternity leave I don’t think parenting equally applies.

DefinitelyMaybe92 · 11/05/2025 09:40

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 11/05/2025 09:38

@DefinitelyMaybe92 not that it would be any of your business.

I’m sorry? What wouldn’t?

SnoopyPajamas · 11/05/2025 09:39

A brain surgeon makes enough money to hire a night nurse. There's no reason his wife should have to do all the night wakings just because he's got a Big Important Job.

OP has plopped and I'm sure will not return, but this isn't a hard one to answer. I wonder what the point of asking was?

YourAzureEagle · 11/05/2025 09:39

The question is also how much sleep do they need, I take about 4 hours a night, any more and I'm groggy and feel rubbish.

Some people just don't sleep as much, or need as much sleep.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 11/05/2025 09:38

@DefinitelyMaybe92 not that it would be any of your business.

ThreenagerCentral · 11/05/2025 09:37

The point isn’t whether they’re a brain surgeon, the question is whether or not they’re a parent. If they’re the parent then they need to be parenting equally. So if they’re not doing night feeds, what do they do instead so the other parent isn’t doing all of the hard bits?

Panterusblackish · 11/05/2025 09:37

Well if she's a breastfeeding brain surgeon, she won't have a whole lot of choice.

Gia906 · 11/05/2025 09:35

clocktick · 11/05/2025 07:12

The thing that strikes me with these ‘ooh, can’t possibly go without sleep’ threads is that babies aren’t the only thing that can cause a bad night.

So - no adverse weather, no loud parties if they live close enough for this to be an issue, no menopause, no just lying awake worrying about this and that, no being too hot or cold, no itchy skin?

We all have bad nights and plough through.

Absolutely re the menopause!

notprincehamlet · 11/05/2025 09:32

They're probably more of a danger on the drive into work but we're oddly fine with people getting behind the wheel tired/distracted/hung over/medicated

LilDeVille · 11/05/2025 09:31

SlieveMiskish · 11/05/2025 09:25

I’d suggest using the brain surgeon’s money to pay for mothers help overnight, for as long as you need it…

As already mentioned on the thread, a surgeon’s salary isn’t enormously generous unlike some people here believe. You certainly wouldn’t want a cheap nanny looking after your precious baby while both parents are unconscious, would you. A better and more cost effective suggestion might be for a sleep consultant to come in and train child to sleep, but don’t think that’s necessary unless a toddler +.

Rosscameasdoody · 11/05/2025 09:31

SlieveMiskish · 11/05/2025 09:25

I’d suggest using the brain surgeon’s money to pay for mothers help overnight, for as long as you need it…

Why are you assuming that an NHS neurosurgeon is earning megabucks ?

Nogg · 11/05/2025 09:30

SlieveMiskish · 11/05/2025 09:25

I’d suggest using the brain surgeon’s money to pay for mothers help overnight, for as long as you need it…

Or the mother could just do it. A Night Nanny ? are they just not for the royal family and mega rich. If you are on mat leave you have time to just look after the baby people have been doing it for generations

SlieveMiskish · 11/05/2025 09:25

I’d suggest using the brain surgeon’s money to pay for mothers help overnight, for as long as you need it…

DancingNotDrowning · 11/05/2025 09:21

I know many individuals with jobs where appropriate decision making is critical. Including brain surgeons.

interestingly the only ones I’ve ever heard complain they can’t function if they have to tend to a baby are men.

lots of mothers coming in to work with a few hours sleep and operate professionally and expertly. Whilst their male counterparts expect a level of rest and relaxation that is both alien to virtually all mothers and a million miles from their requirements during the pre parenting days when they could pull all nighters, grab sleep on trolleys and apparently function impeccably if they’d been up all night shagging.

so interesting.

BellaVita · 11/05/2025 09:21

As the mother of a son who has had two craniotomies, I would be horrified if I thought our surgeon was up in the night feeding the baby.

legoplaybook · 11/05/2025 09:19

Brain surgeon should pay for a night nanny on the nights before surgery.

Tiswa · 11/05/2025 09:18

pinkballetslippers · 11/05/2025 09:16

There's nothing that says brain surgeon like capitalising brain surgeon.

Or calling it a brain surgeon in the first place.

If the poster was one surely it would be neurosurgeon

Deckings · 11/05/2025 09:16

Absolutely not.
Of course they need to be rested.
I know one for many years, married to a nurse that fully understood that he needed full rest, particularly before surgeries.
They paid for help, that simple.

pinkballetslippers · 11/05/2025 09:16

There's nothing that says brain surgeon like capitalising brain surgeon.

MellowPinkDeer · 11/05/2025 09:14

Bushmillsbabe · 11/05/2025 09:11

Even at weekends, or when on annual leave?

Show quote history

when working the next day in direct response to the OP! ( this could include weekends )

DefinitelyMaybe92 · 11/05/2025 09:13

ClimbEveryLadder · 11/05/2025 09:00

My understanding is that babies need night feeds and they can’t do the feeds themselves so parents need to. Babies neither know nor care what job the parents do.

How enlightening.

Bushmillsbabe · 11/05/2025 09:11

MellowPinkDeer · 11/05/2025 08:57

No working parent should be up doing night feeds when the other parent is still on maternity leave. Full stop.

Even at weekends, or when on annual leave?

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