Page 13 | Should a Brain Surgeon be up at night with a baby doing night feeds ?

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 2025-05-10T23:12:07+00:00

Should a surgeon working full time, operating on patients each day be up with a baby at night doing 2/3 hourly feeds. If they were operating in your child and had had only 3/4 hours sleep each night over the last fortnight would this be acceptable to you?

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 11/05/2025 03:58

She may have to be, if the baby is breastfeeding.

TheSeventh · 11/05/2025 03:56

Maybe we could think about compulsory sterilisation of people with important jobs, a vow of chastity maybe. Or we could ban everyone from having children and farm them instead.

JIMER202 · 11/05/2025 03:56

DongDingBell · 11/05/2025 02:54

What do you do when, after a year, baby is still waking numerous times a night, and both of you are brain surgeons?? Or other job where being sleep could have serious consequences.

When DS2 was born, I dumped all overnight care of the 23 month old to DH, and snuggled up with DS2 in the third bedroom. I got so much more sleep, because the newborn slept better than the fecking toddler.

You get a night NANNY. Two surgeons could afford this.

JIMER202 · 11/05/2025 03:54

I’d expect a surgeon to be able to pay for care to help their partner out. No it’s not acceptable. Same for any job where mistakes could kill. If you are the partner then why can’t grandparents, or a part time nanny help out? I’d expect more like shift work where the surgeon does a few hours then goes to bed and the other partner takes over.

Thatcannotberight · 11/05/2025 03:45

If you EBF you do every feed, all the time, there IS nobody to take over. The other parent can sleep all they want. I'm sure a Brain Surgeon has a spare bedroom.

DoNotAdjustYourSex · 11/05/2025 03:33

I think the NHS has decent maternity benefits, so the baby should be into a decent sleep routine by the time she returns to work.

Tbrh · 11/05/2025 03:27

ClareBlue · 11/05/2025 01:46

And just to reiterate for context. Sleep deprivation is a recognised method of torture of which the most extreme method is intermittent deprivation. So wake up, bit of sleep, wake up, sleep not into REM, wake up, repeat, is recognised as torture. Unless it's your baby who can mitigate you being tortured with a 😃

I agree with the 😀 I also think when you've had a baby for some reason you can manage initially, maybe the first 6 or so months, I think it's something to do with post partum hormones and if you're breastfeeding that helps too. The body is a strange thing, it seems to give into some sort of mother survival mode.

FairPlayer274 · 11/05/2025 03:12

The surgeon should either take time off work to help care for his/her child at night, or the other parent should be able to nap whenever possible to catch up on sleep (which generally requires staying at home or working relatively few hours.)

I didn’t expect DH to get up with our baby at night because he is a solicitor, and making mistakes in his field is very costly. I also had the chance to sleep when DD slept, so it felt fair to me.

LuckyLilacHam · 11/05/2025 03:10

Been with my partner 9 years we still love each other beyond belief

BlondiePortz · 11/05/2025 03:08

DongDingBell · 11/05/2025 02:54

What do you do when, after a year, baby is still waking numerous times a night, and both of you are brain surgeons?? Or other job where being sleep could have serious consequences.

When DS2 was born, I dumped all overnight care of the 23 month old to DH, and snuggled up with DS2 in the third bedroom. I got so much more sleep, because the newborn slept better than the fecking toddler.

Just sleep in random places around the place that miraculously pop up it seems

DongDingBell · 11/05/2025 02:54

What do you do when, after a year, baby is still waking numerous times a night, and both of you are brain surgeons?? Or other job where being sleep could have serious consequences.

When DS2 was born, I dumped all overnight care of the 23 month old to DH, and snuggled up with DS2 in the third bedroom. I got so much more sleep, because the newborn slept better than the fecking toddler.

BlondiePortz · 11/05/2025 02:43

SapporoBaby · 11/05/2025 01:57

No they should not be. I would say they should be fully rested including staying elsewhere ahead of large surgeries if necessary.

'Staying elsewhere' good grief, what if they have insomnia?

TheAutumnCrow · 11/05/2025 02:33

SallyDraperGetInHere · 11/05/2025 00:29

I love the way you used upper case for Brain Surgeon as it gives Mitchell and Webb superiority vibes! What about a Rocket Scientist: should they get 8.5 hours?

Yes, my reckon is that that should be adequate.

Codlingmoths · 11/05/2025 02:32

SapporoBaby · 11/05/2025 01:57

No they should not be. I would say they should be fully rested including staying elsewhere ahead of large surgeries if necessary.

Do you also check they haven’t been out to dinner and had a few drinks? Stayed up late to watch an overseas game? It’s always only looking after babies that can’t be done in these discussions, not the fun things.

steff13 · 11/05/2025 02:28

MrsEverest · 11/05/2025 01:06

lol.

And if the neurosurgeon IS the mum?

Show quote history

She probably still has enough money to pay for a night nurse. 🤷‍♀️

DogsOnFilm · 11/05/2025 02:24

We have friends, a couple, who are both surgeons, although not brain surgeons, and neither used their job as a reason not to look after their baby at night.

Codlingmoths · 11/05/2025 02:17

ClareBlue · 11/05/2025 00:16

Or someone driving your bus, or your plane or making a decision whether the armed response unit should fire, or opening a gate with a crowd surge. There are plenty of jobs where you need tobe well rested to make critical decisions.
My view, no. But its not explicitly brain surgeons.

Women do those jobs too. Parents who both work do those jobs. These special exceptions are always only just for the men though.

WhenICalledYouLastNightFromTesco · 11/05/2025 02:13

Rhinohides · 11/05/2025 02:05

You are excused @WhenICalledYouLastNightFromTesco
Good night, sweet dreams and may all your nurses have had adequate rest

Yes, and I thank each one of them. I've been fortunate that I haven't seen many of them, but I know they'll be amazing if I have to.

HoppingPavlova · 11/05/2025 02:13

You do realise they are not necessarily stuck in theatres every day right? They should have days where work does not involve theatres. I’m guessing they would know their schedule, the current coverage and possibilities of what they may/may not have to do the next day when they make the decision whether to do night feeds or not.

PS- they are neurosurgeons.

Rhinohides · 11/05/2025 02:05

You are excused @WhenICalledYouLastNightFromTesco
Good night, sweet dreams and may all your nurses have had adequate rest

coxesorangepippin · 11/05/2025 02:03

I don't think they should, no.

SapporoBaby · 11/05/2025 02:01

That doesn’t mean the SAHP must do all nights though. Night Nanny for a few nights a week would help and a brain surgeon can afford it. That’s part of why they do their job… because it’s paid well.

WhenICalledYouLastNightFromTesco · 11/05/2025 01:59

Rhinohides · 11/05/2025 01:56

@WhenICalledYouLastNightFromTesco - the op was about sleep deprivation and responsibility as was my response. I saw no mention of whether or not you would wish to have a sleep deprived surgeon in yours

Well I thought that this whole thread was about a sleep deprived surgeon. Excuse me

DaisyChain505 · 11/05/2025 01:58

I’m the brain surgeon wanted and agreed to have a child the brain surgeon should be helping out with the up bringing of the child. No matter their gender. If they’re female they should be off on maternity. If they’re male and already back at work they should still be helping, not every night but having a job doesn’t excuse them of all nightly duties. Working around days off etc is preferable.

SapporoBaby · 11/05/2025 01:57

No they should not be. I would say they should be fully rested including staying elsewhere ahead of large surgeries if necessary.