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AIBU?

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Original poster

Cutlery AIBU

85 replies

WhyNotUsehis · 10/05/2025 22:30

So 'conversation' this evening as to why my DH won't set the table while I'm preparing dinner - it's basically because I'm too critical

As in when he sets the table he doesn't pay attention to the cutlery he's setting out, so you could get a
Dessert fork with a dinner knife or vice versa
Or two different types of cutlery, so a square edged knife with a rounded fork

To me, this just feels lopsided/unbalanced when I'm eating, I prefer the cutlery in each hand to be a similar size/shape- so I end up swapping my cutlery for something that feels right

Anyone else like this, or am I too fussy?

OP posts:
ButteredRadishes · 10/05/2025 22:51

Hmmm.

If it matching cutlery means that much to you, then you need to sort it out and have only matching.

As for dessert fork Vs normal... Get him to do it again, properly.

CharlieUniformNovemberTangoYankee · 10/05/2025 22:49

Of course, it's all your fault for not having a perfectly sorted cutlery drawer 🙄

I don't think it's too much to expect a grown man to be able to set a table with the appropriate matching cutlery. Especially when he's having his bloody dinner made for him.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 10/05/2025 22:44

I don't own any dessert forks. Mind you most of my cutlery is a mix of various sets because cutlery mysteriously disappears on a regular basis.

MoistVonL · 10/05/2025 22:43

I agree that I don’t want different weights and handles of cutlery at a meal like I don’t want a hiking sock and an ankle sock on my feet at the same time.

Your partner clearly doesn’t notice or care, so lays the table accordingly.

As you do care, sort it out do such situations aren’t likely:

  • Get a proper cutlery tray for your drawer to divide it up.
  • Sort out your cutlery and get rid of the stuff that doesn’t match.
  • If needed, label the tray sections.
HerfNerder · 10/05/2025 22:39

YANBU about the dessert fork, but the square/rounded thing is a bit fussy. As suggested above, I'd sort the cutlery, even going as far as putting the basics (and your preference between the square/rounded sets) in one place and all the rest somewhere else. Simplify so he'd have to go out of his way to mess it up.

TheBeesKnee · 10/05/2025 22:36

YANBU but I do think you need to pick your battles.

Sounds to me like an excellent opportunity to get a whole new matching set of cutlery.

How he can't tell the difference between a dessert fork and a dinner fork is beyond me.

Swiftie1878 · 10/05/2025 22:34

Blimey. Give the guy a break!

Sminty2 · 10/05/2025 22:34

Perhaps if you sorted out the cutlery drawer, so that there is only one type or set of cutlery, it might make it easier for others to select a matching set?

I’ fussy about cutlery for special meals but day to day, it’s not a problem. But everyone’s different, so just organise the cutlery drawer so it’s easy to pick out the right one?

FourEyesGood · 10/05/2025 22:33

YABU for having any square-edged cutlery.

(And if you had only rounded cutlery, your problem would not exist.)

CeaselesslyIntoThePast · 10/05/2025 22:31

Can’t believe you spent time typing that out.