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AIBU?

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Original poster

Cutlery AIBU

85 replies

WhyNotUsehis · 10/05/2025 22:30

So 'conversation' this evening as to why my DH won't set the table while I'm preparing dinner - it's basically because I'm too critical

As in when he sets the table he doesn't pay attention to the cutlery he's setting out, so you could get a
Dessert fork with a dinner knife or vice versa
Or two different types of cutlery, so a square edged knife with a rounded fork

To me, this just feels lopsided/unbalanced when I'm eating, I prefer the cutlery in each hand to be a similar size/shape- so I end up swapping my cutlery for something that feels right

Anyone else like this, or am I too fussy?

OP posts:
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TatteredAndTorn · 11/05/2025 22:22

WhyNotUsehis · 11/05/2025 08:34

So to answer some questions/suggestions
I have a large compartment cutlery drawer, but all the knives would be together in one section, all the forks in another etc etc

By far the majority are one type of cutlery, so I think I'm going to have to dump the smaller set

Dessert knives/forks not so easy, as we use them often enough for starters and he says it's too much hassle to check which ones are the bigger ones and which are the smaller 😏

We have all the main matching cutlery in the knives, forks, spoons sections and anything mismatched goes together in another section including things like cake forks. Makes it easier to pick out what you need day to day.

Elsvieta · 11/05/2025 21:12

Keep them in different compartments in drawer organisers and ask him to just take forks or whatever from one compartment?

IridaceaeFloribunda · 11/05/2025 21:06

YANBU I hate not having the right cutlery it feels weird. My family all moan if they have a cup of tea in the wrong mug but set the table with any old knife and fork.

PluckyBamboo · 11/05/2025 20:59

You need to branch out and employ a butler.

iliketobereasonable · 11/05/2025 20:54

I’m with you, OP. If I get served soup with a dessert spoon rather than a soup spoon I am not best pleased.

Flossflower · 11/05/2025 20:52

I only have one set of drawers in the kitchen. As I have already said, all my cutlery is the same design . I don’t have enough compartments to have large and small knives and forks in separate compartments so I put the small ones upside down in the same compartment. It works.

Boreded · 11/05/2025 20:51

WhyNotUsehis · 11/05/2025 08:34

So to answer some questions/suggestions
I have a large compartment cutlery drawer, but all the knives would be together in one section, all the forks in another etc etc

By far the majority are one type of cutlery, so I think I'm going to have to dump the smaller set

Dessert knives/forks not so easy, as we use them often enough for starters and he says it's too much hassle to check which ones are the bigger ones and which are the smaller 😏

So my drawer is big knife, big fork, dessert knife, dessert fork…isn’t that how yours is?

CrushingOnRubies · 11/05/2025 20:31

Yanbu but only
about the mismatched cutlery that’s I really hate that. The size of the cutlery isn’t as much of an issue but the ends are

grumpygrape · 11/05/2025 20:00

HurdyGurdy19 · 11/05/2025 19:02

If you've got any Tupperware lids, I'd be happy to do a swap 😅

Show quote history

Sorry HurdyGurdy, I had to ‘rationalise’ my Tupperware a while ago so I only have the lids I still need for the ‘bottoms’. I did a short stint of being a Tupperware ‘agent’ in the late 1970s and still have a few items from my original kit. People thought it was expensive then; if only they had known the 10 year guarantee was a very low expectation !

Oh, we also have our Sheffield Stainless Steel, Viners, 'Love Story' cutlery from the late 1970s. 2 lengths of knife plus fish knives, 2 lengths of fork, desert spoons, soup spoons, tea spoons and a couple of serving spoons. 56 pieces in all and in good nick despite having been dishwashered for years. Maybe they're worth a bob or two now?

HurdyGurdy19 · 11/05/2025 19:02

grumpygrape · 11/05/2025 14:03

That's where my blasted teaspoons are 🤬

Show quote history

If you've got any Tupperware lids, I'd be happy to do a swap 😅

HuffleMyPuffle · 11/05/2025 17:54

This is one of the most MN threads I've ever read

CoffeeCantata · 11/05/2025 16:38

Definitely with you, OP!

It's an easy thing to get right.

Aligirlbear · 11/05/2025 16:19

Just sort your cutlery draw out - have only one pattern in there !

CaptainMyCaptain · 11/05/2025 15:24

Hillarious · 10/05/2025 23:08

Got to have the correct cutlery. My family can eat with what they like, but they know to set my place correctly, and that includes having a butter knife for the butter on the table. Preferably one from Sheffield.

You'll be lucky finding any cutlery at all made entirely in Sheffield. We live very close to Sheffield and couldn't find any that wasn't prohibitively expensive.

Gustavo77 · 11/05/2025 14:05

First world problems and doubling down by actually writing this out. Someone has far too much time on their hands.

grumpygrape · 11/05/2025 14:03

HurdyGurdy19 · 11/05/2025 09:13

I am bemused by this thread. There's an actual butter knife? And desert forks?

It all sounds a bit Downton Abbey to me 😂

We have one set of cutlery, with knives, forks, desert spoons and teaspoons. They all work perfectly, in that they get the food from plate to mouth without issue.

(We do have a RIDICULOUS amount of odd teaspoons though. No idea where they've come from.)

That's where my blasted teaspoons are 🤬

Topjoe19 · 11/05/2025 13:49

I am v fussy about my cutlery. And crockery. But if DH puts the "wrong" ones out for me we just have a laugh about it & I fetch the ones I want.

potplants · 11/05/2025 13:34

I could not deal with all that faffing give me any fork and let me eat.
I dont own any fancy cutlery i have 4 mix forks 4 knives and about 5 mixed spoons 2 sets of chop sticks.

slamdunk66 · 11/05/2025 13:21

We just have forks, knives and then steak knives. I couldn’t get bothered about this at all.

Jane958 · 11/05/2025 12:56

No, you are not wrong. There is a certain way to set the table correctly. I was fairly shocked to see a couple of TV programmes recently, where someone was actually laying a table incorrectly.
And don't get me started on tables laid by hotel staff, who really should know better or, at least, have been trained.

Missey85 · 11/05/2025 12:47

Christ you sound hard I'd probably stab you with a bloody fork! Who cares 🤷 hell I'd do it on purpose 😂

theemmadilemma · 11/05/2025 12:07

DH and I have 2 different fork styles. He likes one, I prefer the other. As a courtesy we stick to that when laying the table.

So no, I don’t think YABU.

PansyPottering · 11/05/2025 11:16

I keep my dessert forks in a jam jar next to where the cake is kept.

TheBeesKnee · 11/05/2025 10:37

HurdyGurdy19 · 11/05/2025 09:13

I am bemused by this thread. There's an actual butter knife? And desert forks?

It all sounds a bit Downton Abbey to me 😂

We have one set of cutlery, with knives, forks, desert spoons and teaspoons. They all work perfectly, in that they get the food from plate to mouth without issue.

(We do have a RIDICULOUS amount of odd teaspoons though. No idea where they've come from.)

A simple Google search will show you that they're different shapes and sizes - a butter knife in particular is very different to a table knife.

Cutlery AIBU
Totallytoti · 11/05/2025 09:22

Your poor dh, you sound annoying and you should do it yourself then

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