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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay for DSS to travel Business Class?

321 replies

Donewithitt · 10/05/2025 21:43

Looking at booking flights UK to Australia for DH and I. We weren’t sure if DSS (18) would want to come as it’s to see family. Mentioned it to DSS and he’s keen to come, and might stay for longer. We are only going for 2 weeks due to work commitments. We are ready to book now, DSS hasn’t worked out what he wants to do yet. AIBU to book DH and I business class flights now while they are still reasonably priced then DSS can travel in economy once he knows what he wants to do. Also we won’t be paying for his travel forever so want him to realise that!

OP posts:
BIossomtoes · 11/05/2025 09:03

I wouldn’t put him in cattle class but we’re at the life stage now where we can either spend our money and see the kids enjoy it or leave it to them when we’re dead. We’ve chosen the former.

ihaterunning111 · 11/05/2025 09:02

Tell him you need to book it now so if he wants to fly with you then decide and he should go business class. If he wants to decide at a later date, tell him prices will have gone up so it’s reasonable to let him know he’ll have to fly economy. Leaving him out as default seems mean.

MaloryJones · 11/05/2025 09:01

SendBooksAndTea · 10/05/2025 21:47

Seems pretty mean to me to have him travel in a separate class if youre all booking. That said, I would only do it if he is able to decide now. He needs to make up his mind for certain.

This

bluesinthenight · 11/05/2025 08:50

Commonsense22 · 10/05/2025 21:53

I'm shocked at the responses. I can't imagine being able to travel business class but surely, paying for an adult child to travel to Australia... they should be grateful for any ticket.
If he can't commit now, tell him what the deal is and he can choose.

Sounds like op can afford it.

Op, I think you should just be straight with him and tell him you need his decision. A teen might be quite content to be in Economy away from parents so they can do their own thing during the flight.

Deckings · 11/05/2025 08:43

Franpie · 11/05/2025 00:37

Abso-fucking-lutely!

Happens most weekend in this house. My kids are very privileged. I spend a fortune on their education. They have generous pocket money. We live in a lovely part of London. Their friends are welcome night and day. They have everything they could possibly want.

But they know their place. They know that they are not equal to my DH and I. That we work fucking hard to provide them with the lifestyles they lead. And so they know not to take the piss.

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Agree.
Similar here.
There are some treats that are to be enjoyed when you have been able to earn well.

Cherrytree86 · 11/05/2025 08:42

Bubblesgun · 11/05/2025 08:04

disagree

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@Bubblesgun

it is though.

TizerorFizz · 11/05/2025 08:42

@Bubblesgun It is normal! Especially if dc, as in this case, is an add on! He should be encouraged to make a decision immediately. If he won’t commit I’d just leave him behind. It’s not really planned as a family holiday.

rookiemere · 11/05/2025 08:39

If his DF is happy for him to fly economy I can’t see what the issue is.
Maybe as a nice gesture he could give him a few hundred for spend for not having to pay for a BC seat.
But it makes sense, young people don’t suffer so much from sore backs and can recover more quickly from lack of sleep so economy is fine.

SheilaFentiman · 11/05/2025 08:35

Cherrytree86 · 11/05/2025 08:33

If money is an issue, can you and your H travel economy so you can deffo pay for step son can go business class? @Donewithitt

Tongue firmly in cheek there, I hope 😀

Cherrytree86 · 11/05/2025 08:33

If money is an issue, can you and your H travel economy so you can deffo pay for step son can go business class? @Donewithitt

TooGoodToGoto · 11/05/2025 08:28

BIossomtoes · 11/05/2025 07:52

Amazing how the age of being a child constantly moves around on MN depending on context.

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Ok, If you think he’s a child, how can the poor little poppet travel home alone if he decides to stay longer? I presume he’ll also only be able to do things with his DF and DSM? Maybe they can take reins for him?

He’s an adult! He’s deciding (in his own time) if he wants to go, because he can decide as an adult.

TeenLifeMum · 11/05/2025 08:25

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 11/05/2025 08:21

But in this case he won’t even commit to whether he’s going! What’s OP supposed to do, wait until he bothers to let them know? And what happens if the girlfriend/friend can’t afford business class, will they be sitting on their own in economy?

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Yes, in this case it’s fine so long as there’s an open conversation. It’s the posters saying they always put dc in economy while they go to business that I was responding to.

AgnesX · 11/05/2025 08:24

Check the cancellation charges, sometimes depending on the airline the charge is minimal if it's business if you cancel, because he doesn't want to go.

Personally I think he will. Who'd turn down an opportunity to travel!

custardandpie · 11/05/2025 08:21

he is 18 and getting a free trip. My parents on a few occasions did that when I was a young adult ( 19 or 20 if memory serves me well ). Really really not a big deal. If you have a history of excluding him or treating him differently to your children if you have one then maybe there will be some sensitivity.

We all remember being 18 surely ? no joint pains and all the energy in the world. He will be fine.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 11/05/2025 08:21

TeenLifeMum · 10/05/2025 23:58

I’m shocked parents would upgrade and travel separately to their dc. That would be called a “dick move” in my circles. Just because you’ve justified it to yourself doesn’t mean it’s fine. We travel as a family - but I do like them.

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But in this case he won’t even commit to whether he’s going! What’s OP supposed to do, wait until he bothers to let them know? And what happens if the girlfriend/friend can’t afford business class, will they be sitting on their own in economy?

Oneday24 · 11/05/2025 08:16

Yanbu and I think it’s lovely you are still offering to take him and fund the trip. Holidays stopped for us once we were 18 and we paid for our own ‘girls trips’!

andtheworldrollson · 11/05/2025 08:11

Have you said to ds - you can fly business if yih book now but if the costs goes up we won’t pay any excess over the price we get today

Gives him responsibility, and the option to earn and spend his own cash if he can’t make his mind up

MaryGreenhill · 11/05/2025 08:11

Book economy for the three of you going and business class for the two of you coming home . Book economy for him coming back because he's not with you . No one needs to know .

Bubblesgun · 11/05/2025 08:04

Rollofrockandsand · 10/05/2025 22:02

Totally fine for him to fly economy, we’ve flown business and the kids flown economy once they are teens. It’s quite normal to do that,

disagree

Flighter · 11/05/2025 08:04

This really is Mumsnet as its finest. On one side, people splitting their family up for a few hours on a plane are sticking their children in cages whilst they sit on a gold throne and are teaching them they are second class citizens.
On the other, people travelling all in business class are making sure their DC grow up to be entitled, spoilt brats.
Oh and throw in some wicked stepmother tropes too for good measure. Well done everyone!!

may2025 · 11/05/2025 08:00

What a lazy interpretation

justasking111 · 11/05/2025 07:56

Friends husband has v bad back issues and three offspring. Visit family in Australia quite often, the kids go economy .

SnakesAndArrows · 11/05/2025 07:53

Imagine a post that said

“My dad and DSM have asked me whether I want to go to Australia with them. They are paying for the flights and accommodation. The problem is, they will only pay for an economy ticket for me, but they will be upgrading themselves to business class. I haven’t worked out yet whether I want to go at all, but as they won’t pay for me to sit in business, WIBU to tell them to shove it?”

What would the responses be.

BIossomtoes · 11/05/2025 07:52

TooGoodToGoto · 11/05/2025 05:56

I thought he was 18 not 8.

He's not a CHILD.

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Amazing how the age of being a child constantly moves around on MN depending on context.

Parker231 · 11/05/2025 07:50

Seymourscat · 11/05/2025 07:21

How can whole families afford business class……? Blows my mind.

We have always traveled in business (including DC’s) and use air miles and top up with cash. We are frequent (at least once a month) long haul travelers and travelling in comfort is a priority for us.

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