To never invite them again.

So your 21 year old son screamed in the face of his 80 year old grandfather, after he had paid for the prick and his dreadful girlfriend to join them on holiday!?

OP, I would feel so deeply ashamed of him and tbh I wouldn't blame your DF adjusting his will in response to this. He must be traumatised and extremely upset over such an attack that I imagine an apology won't erase the horrible memory.

But what stands out is your son scurrying off with the horror gf like a coward, instead of working to put things right with his DGP. I suspect this isn't a one off and your son isn't a nice person, hence his choice of gf too. If I saw my 21 year old scream in the face of my kind elderly dad, I wouldn't be able to look at him in the same way.

I disagree with posters saying he behaved this way due to the gf. Easy to blame the woman - even if insufferable, fact remains he screamed in the face of his 80 year old grandfather. Unforgivable.

Tell your son to take responsibility for his rude actions and so that means to go to his grandparents with a gift and apologise for his behaviour. If not it's time he got a place of his own.

Yes, that's right.

I would have sent her home on day 2.

Did you actually read any of the OPs posts? or are you just venting something in your private life?

It's really shocking that he screamed at his grandmother. I think your dad is right - any money that would have come to him should be given to you for safekeeping and he should only have it when he's mature and sorry for how he behaved - and when he's dumped her, of course. At 23, she's not going to change any time soon.

Family holidays are often a disaster with multi-generational groups. I wouldn't go on one if you paid me.

Anyway, I think your son needs to apologize to his grandparents, and quickly. In person.

I understand your upset and frustration. But all this happened because she is a spoilt brat and your ds lashed out because he was frustrated and angry at gf but took it out on the wrong person which does happen. I would contact him tell he needs to get to grandparents asap to apologise to there face and never invite her to any family gathering I can’t see him seeing her long term she humiliated him in front of his own family. I hope it gets resolved quickly.

She sounds ghastly. Now you know why her parents stopped taking her on holiday! I can't abide moaners. I'm not saying that you are beholden to bow and scrape to someone whose given you something or done you a favour but FGS say thank you and don't piss and moan constantly! It ruins the experience for everyone else including the folk who kindly paid for you to come.

I can imagine my son's girlfriend being a bit like this. She is nice and we like her but she can moan a lot and be a bit "damsel in distress". We've done a couple of days out and it was quite clear she was hating the sort of stuff we usually like to do, so we won't be doing that again and she definitely will not be invited on holiday with us and I'm glad we didn't risk inviting her before getting to know her better.

If it was just the moaning everyone could probably have bitten their tongues and focused on the better bits but your son's outburst totally ruined any chance of recovering the situation. He's the real villain here. Shouting at his elderly unwell grandmother who was trying to be helpful, refusing to apologise or thank them for the free holiday - I'm not surprised you feel angry with him and ashamed of his behaviour.

He's an adult and you can't make him apologise or make it up to your parents, although he should of course. Focus your energy on quality time with them and leave your son to stew with lady moanalot.

She didn't "just accept their bad manners" and she did call them out on it.

So sorry OP that you DH and your parents went through this.

I might be tempted to have a month off from the girlfriend visiting your home at all.

But with having a sit-down with DS and gf in the next few days or in the first week to outline your displeasure to them.

What a way to meet her boyfriends family and maybe hoping to join it.

'I wouldn't mind if she goes on a lot of holidays and is used to better'. What has that got to do with it? She was given a free holiday, and she should behave herself! Cheeky madam!

DS could apologise in writing, by calling or messaging. He doesn't need to see his grandparents face-to-face, although he should do that too.

100%.

She sounds like an ungrateful little cow. So sorry OP.

You're completely reasonable to never invite them again. You're a saint! I wouldn't be able to hang around either of them unless DS acknowledged his mistake and apologised. It also looks like his GF wants to break up with him but is winding him up to have a reason to do so. Nasty girl...

Good lord, screaming at and elderly grandfather on holiday with granny who nearly died months ago, after his holiday has been paid for.

How unbelievable.
No I think you need a break from seeing her.
A real break.
Your son is a disgrace, and absolute disgrace.
Your poor parents.

What is he doing in life?
Because if he doesn't apologise genuinely and profusely to his grandparents, rather than sneaking away as he has, I would be taking a step back from my support of him.

It would be very unwise to dismiss this.
He is an adult that is showing you appallingly nasty behaviour towards an elderly relative.

This is not normal behaviour and not to be dismissed.
I would think this is a marker of his character and you would be wise to note it.
I doubt it will be the last time you will see it.

I would be giving him a bollixing he wouldn't forget and laying down a few home truths about what is and is not acceptable behaviour.

She's the dregs, so beware.

I feel for you OP, you must be so upset and mortified.
Your poor parents.
What a disappointment.
No good deed and all that.....

I guess you’re either the girlfriend or behave like she does? She was rude, obnoxious and ungrateful and deserves a bollocking.

There’s no need to be so rude! You need to go for a walk, love by the sounds of it. Grow up!

You clearly have very low expectations of your children. Decent parents wouldn't allow their minor children to behave this way towards their DGPs (free holiday or not), let alone their adult children, without challenging it. OP obviously has higher standards and, quite correctly, is holding her DS to account for his appalling outburst at his DGM. Apologising is the least he should do.
@PatrickDog OP your DS's GF seems to have an unhealthy influence over him - he certainly seems to be in thrall to her. Have they been together long?

What did he yell at the grandparents about?

OP's parents are not holiding anything over their grandson. They weren't asking for thanks, just not to have to listen to the girlfriend complaining about everything and for their grandson not to shout at his grandmother.

Objectively, the girlfriend's and OP's son's behaviour was awful. They are adults not children so should behave as such.

I can't stand people who give something to others or pay for something and then hold it over them.

Nor can I.

Fortunately that is not what's happening here.

Expecting manners and to not be shouted at is a very low bar for the GPs to expect.

Young guys will put up with anything no matter how rock-bottom, to continue getting laid, in my observation.

Unfortunately for the people around them.