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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dinner time issues

112 replies

KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:03

My step son is 10 years old. I have been living with him for two years now. We have an issue with dinner times. He eats certain foods that contain onions, for example sage and onion stuffing. When I make a dinner than contains onions, he sits there sifting through it and basically refuses to eat most of it. This will be various dinners, spaghetti, cottage pie, chilli, curry, ect. I have tried cutting the onions up really small but the outcome is the same. On some occasions he has just eaten his dinner which contained onions, but most of the time acts up about it. Sometimes when people are looking at him he will start gagging (seems pretend). There are other small children at the table and his eating sets a really bad example to them. No amount of reasoning seems to improve this situation. He received consequences but again this doesn’t make any difference. AIBU to increase consequences?

OP posts:
Original poster
KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:26

Everyone else loves onions, including me. I use them in a lot of meals. Plus they have a lot of health benefits.

OP posts:
tarheelbaby · 10/05/2025 19:26

Food management makes me sad and angry. No one tries to 'make' adults eat food they avoid.

I am iffy about onions too. Sometimes 'contains onions' means there's not much else ...

What do you say to DH when he doesn't eat his onions. Do you make him stay at the table, gagging, until he's finished them...

Ask your DH how/when/where he likes onions. Cook to his tastes. He's your DH, show him the affection of learning his likes/dislikes. There were things my DH didn't like. I didn't cook them for him.

Ask DHto discuss with SSon at a neutral time or manage that yourself. Find out how they like onions. Make a spreadsheet if necessary so you can cook how they like ...

OR
just let them pick out the onions when they want; cut them large to make this easier. Onions are cheap. A little can go a long way. And don't worry about 'setting an example for' the younger ones: they are busy eating your onions. Plus, if there are things they don't like, maybe you could accomodate that... Imagine ... food people want to eat rather than 'it's good for you' or 'I cooked it so you're eating it, you little ... '

I'm iffy about bell peppers too... I don't mind things cooked with them but eating actual peppers upsets my tummy. Will you make me eat them ...

PS what are you not cooking because YOU don't like/can't eat it ... maybe they can make up a whole menu (not) for you ...

terracelane23 · 10/05/2025 19:26

My step son did this exact thing. We continued to cook the meals with onions and refused to do separate meals for him. We stopped making a fuss about it and he ate the meals with onions without a fuss. Worth a try.

Stripeyanddotty · 10/05/2025 19:25

How many meals does he have with you every week?

TooGoodToGoto · 10/05/2025 19:24

Liquidise the onions, my son doesn’t like onions. It’s fine, no big deal.

Spendthrifting · 10/05/2025 19:24

I would give up cooking completely if someone told me I couldn’t use onions - they are the basis for almost every recipe (I make). I would just grate them. My eldest, who is autistic, hated onions for a few years - now he loves them. You just can’t cook (anything decent) without onions - they are a basic ingredient afaic.

EG94 · 10/05/2025 19:24

What does his dad say?

it does seem he doesn’t like onions in most forms and I would never force a kid to eat things they didn’t like.

I don’t however play the I like carrots on a Mondays but not a Wednesday game. He consistently seems to dislike onions

choices as I see them
you cook for everyone but your step son and his dad cooks for him
you cook for everyone and adapt to his dislike by making the same but without onions
you continue as you are and every meal time is miserable and you’re pissed off

mondaytosunday · 10/05/2025 19:23

My stepson hated broccoli. He’d hide it under his pillow! I said to my DH why do you insist on giving it to him? There’s plenty of other veg.
Frankly there’s loads of things that don’t need onion.

HerfNerder · 10/05/2025 19:23

In that case, I'd tell him that politely leaving pieces he doesn't want to eat is okay, but loudly complaining or making a show of disgust is not. Reminders followed by punishment, and find something that he'll care about.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 10/05/2025 19:22

KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:16

I have tried that. It’s not always onions, he will sometimes pick out tomatoes and peppers which I know he likes.

How convenient you add this now you're being told you're being unreasonable

ForOliveMember · 10/05/2025 19:21

"increase consequences"? Poor kid or just cook without onions.

TomatoSandwiches · 10/05/2025 19:19

I don't really understand what the problem is, if you think it's behavioural then just ignore him and leave him to pick at his dinner as long as he eats some of it.

Commonsense22 · 10/05/2025 19:18

I understand being resentful of changing your cooking for your step son but as they grow up your own children will have similar likes and dislikes and you'll be naturally more sympathetic.
If your dss luges with you and he doesn't like onion, don't give him onion.

DownWithCremeEggs · 10/05/2025 19:18

Just leave the onion out? It's not an essential component to most dishes and you're making this a way bigger deal than it needs to be.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 10/05/2025 19:18

Cut it up bigger so he can see it and pick it out

Katemax82 · 10/05/2025 19:17

My son won't eat onions. I either don't use them or use onion granules. There's nothing to be gained otherwise

Original poster
KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:16

I have tried that. It’s not always onions, he will sometimes pick out tomatoes and peppers which I know he likes.

OP posts:
HerfNerder · 10/05/2025 19:16

I'd puree the onion or use powdered or granulated onion, if it's not an issue of intolerance or dislike of the flavour.

Gemmawemma9 · 10/05/2025 19:15

Blitz it in the food processor. It becomes like a paste and it will be indistinguishable.
im with you OP, he is just being a PITA. If he genuinely didn’t like it I’d never push it, but he eats onion rings? I wouldn’t be pandering to this either. Never pandered to whims and never had fussy kids as a result.

JollyGreenSnake · 10/05/2025 19:15

Sorry, OP but this sounds unreasonable. Would you do the same with chilli?

Forgetaboutme · 10/05/2025 19:15

Could I suggest the opposite. Bigger onions and he can pick them out?

I don't like cold tomatoes but I do like warm tomatoes. Sometimes different ways ingredients are cooked make them different.

Original poster
KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:14

Just trying to clarify points

OP posts:
TucanPlay · 10/05/2025 19:14

You can leave onion out of lots of sauces and dishes, there's garlic, herbs, other flavourings. I had one family member who didn't like it, it's really easy to adapt recipes. I feel for the child who keeps having to eat something he doesn't like, behavioural or not.

Original poster
KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:13

No his dad likes onion but has the same issue with son when he cooks

OP posts:
Sirzy · 10/05/2025 19:12

Why bother asking when your so sure your right? Just keep fighting a losing battle!

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