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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dinner time issues

112 replies

KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:03

My step son is 10 years old. I have been living with him for two years now. We have an issue with dinner times. He eats certain foods that contain onions, for example sage and onion stuffing. When I make a dinner than contains onions, he sits there sifting through it and basically refuses to eat most of it. This will be various dinners, spaghetti, cottage pie, chilli, curry, ect. I have tried cutting the onions up really small but the outcome is the same. On some occasions he has just eaten his dinner which contained onions, but most of the time acts up about it. Sometimes when people are looking at him he will start gagging (seems pretend). There are other small children at the table and his eating sets a really bad example to them. No amount of reasoning seems to improve this situation. He received consequences but again this doesn’t make any difference. AIBU to increase consequences?

OP posts:
Llhvj · 10/05/2025 19:53

He doesn't like onions...and you know ways in which he doesn't like them, then don't serve them. I wouldn't serve it to my kid and I wonder whether you wouldn't either if it was actually your child and not a step son.

TooGoodToGoto · 10/05/2025 19:53

KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:50

If I didn’t like something say for example tuna I would eat it certain things but not in others. I

I hate mash potatoe but eat it on fish or shepherds pie, I know two others the same as me.

Moier · 10/05/2025 19:51

Not the same at all.
My daughter ( she's an adult).. will eat tomatoe sauce on pizza/ pasta/ etc but won't eat a tomato.
I will eat banana toffee but won't eat a banana.
My Grandson will eat chicken nuggets but not roast chicken.
Don't be mean with him.

Original poster
KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:50

If I didn’t like something say for example tuna I would eat it certain things but not in others. I

OP posts:
Smelltherain · 10/05/2025 19:50

Why should the child receive consequences because he doesn't like onions. Just don't put onion in his food, or take them out of his before serving

MummaMummaMumma · 10/05/2025 19:48

You're very reluctant to listen to anyone who says you're being unreasonable.
He does not like onions, why try to force him to eat it?
Surely there's something that you can't stand? If everyone else liked it would that be ok for them to make you eat it?

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/05/2025 19:46

I'd just ignore it. He clearly either doesn't like onions in those foods or he is doing it to wind you up which is succeeding.

If you want to cook those foods with onions in it because the majority like onions, fine. I'd just let him pick it out and stop making a big deal about it.

Ponderingwindow · 10/05/2025 19:45

@kfn1987 What foods do you dislike? Why doesn’t your partner take over the cooking and just make sure every meal includes your hated food throughout the main dish?

Enko · 10/05/2025 19:45

Try onion powder. You get the taste of the onion without the sensation of it

FunMustard · 10/05/2025 19:44

My mum always made risotto with peas which I hate, and would then get annoyed I picked them out.

I'd say either blend the sauce and say they're not in there, or put in bigger chunks so he can pick them out easier. Personally, I'm not a fan of chunks of veg in chilli or Bolognese or whatever so I blend everything. Get a small food processor, they're a godsend.

Don't rise to the bait. And don't punish him for it.

@Dreichweather or - options 3 or 4 as above.

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 10/05/2025 19:42

KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:30

It’s more than that

Then you are very unreasonable.

If one of my kid doesn't like something - or when one of my kid doesn't like something-- I make it less often. Still expect them to eat what I make, and their taste change... but I wouldn't insist on making the majority of their meals when I know they don't eat it!

it's mean!

MidnightMusing5 · 10/05/2025 19:41

Blend the onion with food blender/ processor and so you will still have the flavour but he won’t be able to see the onion.

win win

BeachRide · 10/05/2025 19:41

My mother insisted that I 'cleared my plate' even when I knew certain foods like tomatoes and onions really disagreed with me. They still don't, 40 years later.

TooGoodToGoto · 10/05/2025 19:39

When you say increase consequences, for him picking onions out of his meal 🥘! What are you proposing?

Mummabear04 · 10/05/2025 19:36

Why don't you just blend the sauce? It takes 2 mins and then your issue is gone...

ProudAS · 10/05/2025 19:36

Sounds like me with eggs and it was the texture not the taste that was the issue. I could (and still can) eat omelettes and scrambled eggs so long as they are thoroughly beaten before cooking. In my case the retching and gagging was involuntary but I wouldn't have been averse to exaggerating it at the age of 10.

My issues turned out to be linked to autism (diagnosed when I was 30 years old).

Spendthrifting · 10/05/2025 19:35

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 10/05/2025 19:29

of course you can cook without onions. They would go horrendously bad with a lot of dishes, and other things can equally be cooked with or without - I can't think of a better example, but while you can put onions in an omelette, there are so many omelette recipes without onions.

Show quote history

You are quite right about onion omelette (yuck) -except for tortilla of course.
I don’t make omelettes often for a family of five- generally every meal would use onions somewhere.
I do cook my onions slowly usually, until they are v soft- crunchy onions would not work in most dishes - like lasagna or curry.

Dreichweather · 10/05/2025 19:31

KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:26

Everyone else loves onions, including me. I use them in a lot of meals. Plus they have a lot of health benefits.

This is like having a conversation with a brick wall. You have a two choices here

  1. continue as you are and have the same out come
  2. make his meals or all meals with out onions or offer him some thing different eg chicken sandwhich
Original poster
KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:30

It’s more than that

OP posts:
YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 10/05/2025 19:30

KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:28

I don’t use them in every meal 😁

so he's being fussy once or twice a week. is it such a big deal?

Original poster
KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:29

Yes I make sure them are really soft but this hasn’t helped.

OP posts:
YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 10/05/2025 19:29

Spendthrifting · 10/05/2025 19:24

I would give up cooking completely if someone told me I couldn’t use onions - they are the basis for almost every recipe (I make). I would just grate them. My eldest, who is autistic, hated onions for a few years - now he loves them. You just can’t cook (anything decent) without onions - they are a basic ingredient afaic.

of course you can cook without onions. They would go horrendously bad with a lot of dishes, and other things can equally be cooked with or without - I can't think of a better example, but while you can put onions in an omelette, there are so many omelette recipes without onions.

Original poster
KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:28

I don’t use them in every meal 😁

OP posts:
Sofasloth · 10/05/2025 19:28

Use onion powder? Or shallots?

Are you also softening them enough? Crunchy onion bits are grim

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 10/05/2025 19:27

Must you cook something that contains onion at every meal? That's very weird.

If he eats onion rings, then it's even weirder, but kids can have weird dislikes. If it's just about onions, lighten up and stop putting onions everywhere.

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