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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dinner time issues

112 replies

KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:03

My step son is 10 years old. I have been living with him for two years now. We have an issue with dinner times. He eats certain foods that contain onions, for example sage and onion stuffing. When I make a dinner than contains onions, he sits there sifting through it and basically refuses to eat most of it. This will be various dinners, spaghetti, cottage pie, chilli, curry, ect. I have tried cutting the onions up really small but the outcome is the same. On some occasions he has just eaten his dinner which contained onions, but most of the time acts up about it. Sometimes when people are looking at him he will start gagging (seems pretend). There are other small children at the table and his eating sets a really bad example to them. No amount of reasoning seems to improve this situation. He received consequences but again this doesn’t make any difference. AIBU to increase consequences?

OP posts:
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Original poster
KFN1987 · 11/05/2025 11:40

Yes he does live with us permanently.

OP posts:
BlueMum16 · 11/05/2025 11:16

KFN1987 · 11/05/2025 10:44

I am taking on the advice. Like many people have said it’s really not worth the argument and isn’t getting anyone anywhere. So I will make a change.

Does he live with you permanently?

I would just not put onions in anything for a while or leave them big so he can fish them out.

He'll grow out of it eventually.

YesItsMe44 · 11/05/2025 11:06

If it's the flavor of onion you so desperately want, grate your onion and add the onion juice. You'll get the fresh flavor without the onion pulp/pieces.

Original poster
KFN1987 · 11/05/2025 10:44

I am taking on the advice. Like many people have said it’s really not worth the argument and isn’t getting anyone anywhere. So I will make a change.

OP posts:
PinotDragon86 · 11/05/2025 10:02

You are determined your way is right. You aren't taking on board any of the suggestions because you are confident you are right to continue to serve the poor child onions regardless of wether he likes them or not.
Why even bother posting if you aren't looking for advice, just justification for what you are going to do anyway?

SapphOhNo · 11/05/2025 09:20

Blend the onions, still adds the same flavour. So if making a spag bol and doing a sofrito base, blend your celery carrots and onions and fry that off

lovemycbf · 11/05/2025 09:17

I have a ninja mini chopper and it chops onions etc really tiny
maybe give this a try? It’s about £30 and really good

crockofshite · 10/05/2025 23:06

Ignore it. Let him dick around with his food and ignore it.

Zanatdy · 10/05/2025 23:04

He doesn’t like onion.

Namechangetry · 10/05/2025 22:50

I hate onions. I hate the flavour, and the texture whether fried or boiled so cooking them soft doesn't help. My mother spent approximately 45 years 'just putting one in, for flavour '. I don't like the flavour! I will however, eat onion bhaji, and I actively like leeks which aren't that different. No, I don't understand it either. So don't assume he doesn't mean it because he'll eat them in one form but not others. I really hate onions.

OP why are you so determined to make your stepson eat something he doesn't like? Would you have an adult round for food and deliberately cook something you know they don't like?

SussexLass87 · 10/05/2025 22:21

KFN1987 · 10/05/2025 19:55

Everyone gets treated the same

Alright OP - why bother posting then?! 🤣

Cherrysoup · 10/05/2025 21:50

Yet he eats onion rings?! Just deep fry onions in batter first!

2catsandhappy · 10/05/2025 21:44

I would like a quid for every child I have met who would not eat fresh tomato but loved tomato ketchup.
It could be a texture thing @KFN1987
My dd picked out onion. She also like onion rings. I bought her cheese and onion crisps.
Just cook with larger pieces of onion. Easy to pick out. Ignore it. You are giving it way more head space than you need to. Pick your battles. This isn't it.

Allywill · 10/05/2025 21:27

You seem to be saying he doesn’t really dislike onions as he eats onion rings and sage and onion stuffing, so you shouldn’t have to adapt your cooking, but as other have said it’s really common to eat an ingredient cooked in one way and really dislike it another. Someone I work with loves tuna in a sandwich cold but retches at the idea of hot tuna in a toastie or in pasta bake. I hate the baby sweetcorn you get in stir fry but love corn on the cob and tinned sweetcorn. It doesn’t mean he is lying or that he is just being difficult.

itbemay1 · 10/05/2025 21:20

Onion granules?

Loveautumnhatewinter · 10/05/2025 21:16

Why don’t you blend it with a bit of water so it’s a paste and throw that in to whatever you’re cooking?

PinkPonyClubb · 10/05/2025 21:14

What foods will he eat onion in? Trying to gain context.

Flossflower · 10/05/2025 21:13

OP, why are you so keen to force onions on him. A lot of people don’t like them. In most households they are not an everyday food.

Goldbar · 10/05/2025 21:11

Don't be a bully over food.

You serve it, he either eats it or not. No comment. So long as he is is polite over it and doesn't make a show of gagging at the table, leave well alone.

If he's hungry later on, let him have toast or cereal or something bland.

AnonMJ · 10/05/2025 21:09

Increase the consequences?
are you staging yourself as the wicked step mother?!!!

if your best mate hated dishes made with onions you would not keep serving them.

don’t treat a vulnerable child differently.

drspouse · 10/05/2025 20:51

We have rules that we choose what's for dinner, children choose whether to eat it or not. There's always one thing that we know the DCs like even if there's something new as well.
If he sometimes eats them and sometimes doesn't, I'd carry on as you are and ignore the behaviour.
If he never eats them, I'd either blend them down (might not be that he doesn't notice, might be a texture thing, you only get the taste that way) or cut them bigger and ignore when he picks them out.

Totallytoti · 10/05/2025 20:48

Onions are the base of most foods so I wouldn’t leave that out, blend it and trust me he won’t notice. But I would definitely pull him up on his bad behaviour at the table.

Totallytoti · 10/05/2025 20:47

Grate the onions and the fusspot won’t notice. And cooking without onions is not really cooking- no curry, chilli etc is made without it.
I wouldn’t make life difficult by cooking various things for one fussy person.
you could even blend the onions too and he won’t notice.

AnonMJ · 10/05/2025 20:43

He is 10
stop giving him food with onions in!!!

daffodil2025 · 10/05/2025 20:40

Stop weaponising food - he’s 10 years old. He’s told you he doesn’t like the onions in your cooking. Make him a separate portion without the onion or cook things that he does like. You are making out that he’s being manipulative but it sounds like he genuinely doesn’t like the onion cooked in your food. An onion ring covered in batter is a very different beast. I feel really sorry for him

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