Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby at fertility show?

182 replies

Butterbly · 10/05/2025 13:39

I'm not sure if I'm just in the haze of ivf treatments

Today I went to a fertility/ family building event. It was some stands but mostly talks by a fertility clinic on treatment options for example an hour talk of iui medications and procedures etc and an hour on implications of ivf in a packed conference room (100+ people)

I've been sent a link to give some feedback.

I was surprised that a couple bought their baby along in a pram

The baby was fairly vocal (crying and chatting) which didn't feel right for any kind of indepth talk in that way so I would have taken it outside at that point. In breaks in the event, it was being walked along in the aisles, they were loudly playing with it

I think it's probably fair to feedback that I struggled to hear at points because of background noise, but is it also fair to say that it didn't feel like the right audience for a baby?

OP posts:
Teado · 10/05/2025 15:32

I have not struggled with infertility (first pregnancy accidental, second pregnancy first cycle) but I find this quite upsetting. It seems tone deaf to bring a baby to a talk like that. If their childcare fell through, they should’ve stayed home.

TwinklyGoldReader · 10/05/2025 15:29

I do think it was a little insensitive of them from an outside perspective. That being said, as pp mentioned they could be suffering from secondary infertility themselves and had no alternative but to bring their baby. Not everybody has a ‘village.’

I do also agree that one of them should have taken the baby elsewhere if they were causing disruption though! One parent could easily have fed back info from the talk.

Original poster
Butterbly · 10/05/2025 15:29

DefinitelyMaybe92 · 10/05/2025 15:26

They, amongst others there, could be experiencing secondary infertility. I don’t think a serious talk is the best place for a child in general, so I don’t think YABU for that reason (though it could be that their childcare fell through, I suppose.) However, you must come across children all the time in public? So I don’t agree that it was inappropriate from a sensitivity perspective, personally.

Show quote history

I guess just not in the context of whilst looking at graphs about declining fertility, and talking about the low success rates of treatments

I've no objection to babies in public

OP posts:
DefinitelyMaybe92 · 10/05/2025 15:26

Butterbly · 10/05/2025 15:23

I don't know to be honest. I wouldnt have expected an event about infertility would have a baby present.

Its hard to hear about the physical, emotional and financial cost of something that might not result in success whilst hearing a giggling baby.

I think the couple were tone deaf to be honest

I'm surprised the clinic running it weren't more alert to the baby being there in any sense but particularly when it was very visible, and being disruptive to those near jt

Edited
Show quote history

They, amongst others there, could be experiencing secondary infertility. I don’t think a serious talk is the best place for a child in general, so I don’t think YABU for that reason (though it could be that their childcare fell through, I suppose.) However, you must come across children all the time in public? So I don’t agree that it was inappropriate from a sensitivity perspective, personally.

B1indEye · 10/05/2025 15:24

I dont see anything wrong in mentioning it, in future they might add some wording to say that while babies are welcome you'll be asked to move on if they are stopping other attendees hearing the talks.

Original poster
Butterbly · 10/05/2025 15:23

toomuchfaff · 10/05/2025 15:15

So are you expecting the event to have policed the entry to not allow the couple with a baby?

Or that the couple were absolutely tone deaf and shouldn't have attended, or at least controlled themselves and child?

I'm looking here to understand what you think should have happened?

I don't know to be honest. I wouldnt have expected an event about infertility would have a baby present.

Its hard to hear about the physical, emotional and financial cost of something that might not result in success whilst hearing a giggling baby.

I think the couple were tone deaf to be honest

I'm surprised the clinic running it weren't more alert to the baby being there in any sense but particularly when it was very visible, and being disruptive to those near jt

OP posts:
toomuchfaff · 10/05/2025 15:15

So are you expecting the event to have policed the entry to not allow the couple with a baby?

Or that the couple were absolutely tone deaf and shouldn't have attended, or at least controlled themselves and child?

I'm looking here to understand what you think should have happened?