Baby at fertility show?

YANBU. That was very insensitive of them.

My friend was horrified to learn that other friends expecting or wirh kids were “avoiding” her in case their pregnancy & kids made her upset.
She was happy for everyone else. It took her 10 yrs to get her baby, and we were with her the whole way, with our kids.

Exactly. Anyone wanting children who can't cope with a child making a bit of noise in a public place is in a for a big shock.

yep people should keep their babies inside at all times to save your feelings. the world revolves around you

Completely insensitive of them. Read the fucking room.

Sorry you are going through this OP, I hope it works out for you.

YANBU, and I wish you every success with your treatment.

I had a large bleed in the early hours of the morning when 13 weeks pregnant, so went to the EPU to get scanned. As it was only 7am, DH and DD1 (who was 14 months old) came with me, but I asked them to wait in the car. As much as I wanted my DH there for support, I knew there would be several other women waiting to find out if they had lost their pregnancies too, and it would be utterly tone deaf to sit in that waiting room with my young child.

I know what you mean. It took years to have my child after an unplanned pregnancy resulted in miscarriage, and it seemed like pregnancy (let alone a successful one) would never happen. I always found it so painful seeing babies and toddlers and young children in general. I think seeing them in an environment like that would have been extra difficult.

Saying it now it sounds so illogical, and I can’t actually even remember why I felt like that. I think it was just the desire for something that might never be. I can’t remember or understand the exact thought process, and I do think it’s something difficult to make sense of unless you have felt it yourself.

I can totally understand where you are coming from… but the pain of the 5 miscarriages I had at 10-12 weeks and the struggle to finally maintain a pregnancy beyond that 12week mark was no less horrific for already having a child. I know that if you haven’t had that first child, it may seem insensitive to see other people with children claiming distress but I used to leave many a mum n baby group and sob all the way home with my first born in her buggy whenever anyone announced a pregnancy.

I truly understand that from your position it may be hard to appreciate that the pain of loss when you already have a child might be comparable. But it really is.

@Butterbly I'm sorry you're facing fertility treatment. It can be such a long and lonely experience. Having been through it myself (and out the other side) I would have felt the same in this situation. If DH and I decided to go back into the IVF world (which we won't), we absolutely would not even dream of taking our small child with us. To me that would be so insensitive. If we really needed this information I would have gone on my own / found another way.
Wishing you all the best 💐

This is an incredibly insensitive comment that adds nothing to the discussion.

Being around babies will help getting pregnant? If you're looking at IVF, you most probably have a diagnosed issue or condition. I don't think being around babies is going to help.

And yes, the provider should have made it absolutely clear that parents needed to be sensitive.

Both of those actually but the clinic didn't bat an eye. It's just tone deaf to take children into certain spaces

I completely agree with you @Butterbly. It was insensitive but typical of some people's entitlement these days.

When I had IVF I saw more than one couple at my clinic with an older child with them. I didn't like it but even then I could appreciate that just because someone has a baby doesn't mean their struggles with infertility are over.

YANBU. Only a complete jerk would take a baby to an event for people struggling with fertility..

I’ve had an abortion and if I’d seen a woman with a child there, I’d feel so sorry for her that she has so little support that even for this she can’t get childcare. (I am surprised the clinic allowed it though)
If you’re talking about a situation where two parents have brought a child to the clinic, I agree with you. The father should have stayed with the child elsewhere.

op, you should maybe move this to the infertility page. You are going to get responses from people on AIBU who cannot understand your pain

Some people have secondary fertility issues, some people with a baby might be going with a friend to support them.

We attended an information evening, which was a series of lectures, on infertility with a toddler. There was another one too. We had asked and they said no problem. We had no childcare and both wanted to get all the information because we were changing fertility clinic. We would have taken him outside if he was disruptive.

I completely get it. Worst I've seen was babies and young kids in an abortion clinic. There were alot of shocked and upset faces. Some places are just not meant for a baby/child to be

It is totally in appropriate. I understand that secondary infertility is a thing but being faced with never having a child is next level.
I wonder if those who disagree with the OP have ever faced that prospect?

Babies should be taken outside if they cry during any kind of seminar and people Cant hear or are distracted.

It might have been better if the parent hadn’t brought the baby due to the nature of the event, it would have been more thoughtful not to bring a child, but if a sitter fell through what can you do.

So only people who have never had a baby before should be allowed to attend?

To say you think the actual act of having to look at a healthy looking stranger's baby during the event was triggering/upsetting seems a bit much. But if that's how you feel then I guess say so.

I'd say it would be more off brand for them to ban new parents from the event, personally.

I went through IVF - I know what you mean. For me though, at some point I needed to realise that being in the vicinity of babies is fine.

I hope your treatment is going ok. It may well be the IVF and hormones and injections etc talking.