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Original poster

Baby at fertility show?

182 replies

Butterbly · 10/05/2025 13:39

I'm not sure if I'm just in the haze of ivf treatments

Today I went to a fertility/ family building event. It was some stands but mostly talks by a fertility clinic on treatment options for example an hour talk of iui medications and procedures etc and an hour on implications of ivf in a packed conference room (100+ people)

I've been sent a link to give some feedback.

I was surprised that a couple bought their baby along in a pram

The baby was fairly vocal (crying and chatting) which didn't feel right for any kind of indepth talk in that way so I would have taken it outside at that point. In breaks in the event, it was being walked along in the aisles, they were loudly playing with it

I think it's probably fair to feedback that I struggled to hear at points because of background noise, but is it also fair to say that it didn't feel like the right audience for a baby?

OP posts:
Bearhunt468 · 11/05/2025 07:51

Did you have to buy tickets to the event or was it somewhere someone could have walked pass, saw all the stands/word family X event and thought it was something to be able to wander around? I could see how a couple out on a walk might not have planned to attend but found it interesting (maybe they had fertility issues before having this little on and wanted to understand more).

I don't think they should have avoided it because it was an even about fertility but definitely left ANY talk or lecture if a child was being noisy and disruptive

U53rn8m3ch8ng3 · 11/05/2025 07:47

yeesh · 10/05/2025 15:44

I think saying they may have secondary infertility is a bit of a push as they can’t have had much time to even try for a second child if they only have a baby. Serious lectures are no place for a baby especially with the sensitive topics being discussed.

This is what I was going to say. At best they'd have been trying for another child for a few months. I think it's pretty bloody tone deaf to take a baby there. Unless there was more to the event that just fertility talks? Op mentioned family building and some stands?
Still should have taken a noisy baby out of a talk conference event, that's basis courtesy.

B1indEye · 11/05/2025 07:42

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 11/05/2025 07:00

But babies are everywhere.
You don't know why the baby was in attendance. Couple may have been babysitting.
Was there a NO BABIES order in the advertising? At the door?

Show quote history

Youre seriously suggesting that a couple struggling to conceive happened to agree to babysit at the same time theyd booked to attend an infertility conference and thought, oh well let's just take the baby along?

The knots that some poaters on here will tie themselves in to come up with justifications is laughable

Tell this story in real life and the overwhelming reaction. Is going to be, yeah that's a bit off, how insensitive.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 11/05/2025 07:03

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 11/05/2025 07:00

But babies are everywhere.
You don't know why the baby was in attendance. Couple may have been babysitting.
Was there a NO BABIES order in the advertising? At the door?

Show quote history

Married people are everywhere but as someone said would you bring your husband to a presentation towards widows?

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 11/05/2025 07:00

Butterbly · 10/05/2025 15:23

I don't know to be honest. I wouldnt have expected an event about infertility would have a baby present.

Its hard to hear about the physical, emotional and financial cost of something that might not result in success whilst hearing a giggling baby.

I think the couple were tone deaf to be honest

I'm surprised the clinic running it weren't more alert to the baby being there in any sense but particularly when it was very visible, and being disruptive to those near jt

Edited
Show quote history

But babies are everywhere.
You don't know why the baby was in attendance. Couple may have been babysitting.
Was there a NO BABIES order in the advertising? At the door?

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 11/05/2025 06:55

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/05/2025 19:28

Maybe their baby is adopted and they were deciding if IVF was for them?

My son is adopted and I would never, I’m already a mom, I know how painful it is to want that more than anything.

Plus adopting a baby and then undergoing fertility treatments right away would be incredibly irresponsible.

I had multiple pregnancy losses prior to adopting my son.

I had one late term loss when my son was 4. It was awful but it wasn’t the same because I was already a mom.

I’d like to think women with secondary infertility can appreciate it is not the same thing as never having a child.

Yanbu OP. So much love and hope for you and your dream of becoming a mom. 🩷

BonBon20 · 11/05/2025 06:10

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So are trolls.

BonBon20 · 11/05/2025 06:07

LouH1981 · 11/05/2025 02:07

Having had a miscarriage, then trouble ttc I get that seeing babies seemingly everywhere is heartbreaking but you have no idea how that baby came about. Maybe it was a very long awaited IVF baby or from a surrogate. Maybe she too had suffered miscarriage after miscarriage.
Maybe they had zero choices for childcare that day but were desperate for further information on how to continue having a family.
Perhaps one of the parents could have taken the baby outside if it was unsettled but they had every right to be there too.

But wasn’t that OP’s main point…?

Codlingmoths · 11/05/2025 02:29

CopperWhite · 10/05/2025 15:34

Secondary infertility is a thing, and families that need support with that shouldn’t be excluded.

Can you have secondary infertility with a baby? I am well aware of what secondary infertility is, my point is if they are under 1, then I’d think it’s too early to be diagnosed with secondary infertility. My multiple friends with it would have had their first at least 3 years old by the time it became secondary infertility rather than trying for a second.

Gingerbreadman1972 · 11/05/2025 02:11

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Not sure what that's got to do with my post. I didn't make any comment on infertility in relation to other problems in life? Nor did I make a comment on my own fertility.

Feel free to re read but also consider whether your post is appropriate on a thread where some of the women have clearly been affected by infertility.

LouH1981 · 11/05/2025 02:07

Having had a miscarriage, then trouble ttc I get that seeing babies seemingly everywhere is heartbreaking but you have no idea how that baby came about. Maybe it was a very long awaited IVF baby or from a surrogate. Maybe she too had suffered miscarriage after miscarriage.
Maybe they had zero choices for childcare that day but were desperate for further information on how to continue having a family.
Perhaps one of the parents could have taken the baby outside if it was unsettled but they had every right to be there too.

TaggieO · 11/05/2025 00:33

Devilsmommy · 10/05/2025 16:33

I completely get it. Worst I've seen was babies and young kids in an abortion clinic. There were alot of shocked and upset faces. Some places are just not meant for a baby/child to be

Show quote history

What are people who have no childcare for existing children supposed to do if they require access to emergency contraception or abortion exactly? I’d say that’s more appropriate than the scenario in the OP, not less - the event OP was at was optional. Accessing healthcare is not.

MNiscringe · 11/05/2025 00:28

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MNiscringe · 11/05/2025 00:27

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KimberleyClark · 11/05/2025 00:26

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You are nasty.

MNiscringe · 11/05/2025 00:25

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KimberleyClark · 11/05/2025 00:25

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Have you got kids?

pinkstripeycat · 11/05/2025 00:24

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If you haven’t got kids I hope you never get them. You are unkind.

pinkstripeycat · 11/05/2025 00:23

toomuchfaff · 10/05/2025 15:15

So are you expecting the event to have policed the entry to not allow the couple with a baby?

Or that the couple were absolutely tone deaf and shouldn't have attended, or at least controlled themselves and child?

I'm looking here to understand what you think should have happened?

They shouldn’t have brought a baby. It’s agony when you so want a child and you feel people are flaunting that they already have one.

It’s irrational thinking but when you are so desperate for a child that’s how you feel.

My MIL dumped SIL baby in my lap without asking. I didn’t want to hold the baby. Nearly stood up and dropped it. I couldn’t bare it and just wanted to get away. We’d been trying for 5yrs. She fell pregnant by accident.

MurnsnetUsersHaveBV · 11/05/2025 00:13

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MurnsnetUsersHaveBV · 11/05/2025 00:11

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MurnsnetUsersHaveBV · 11/05/2025 00:11

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MurnsnetUsersHaveBV · 11/05/2025 00:10

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Widgets · 10/05/2025 23:22

YANBU

Sycamor · 10/05/2025 22:44

Slightly different... I had most of my IVF cycles abroad. I was lucky enough to bring my daughter back to the clinic she was conceived in when we were trying again. It was the type of clinic that had a hotel and restaurant connected. So she was in the hotel and lobby. Not present for procedures so not disturbing anyone. Infertility is horrendously difficult and you have my understanding and sympathy but hopefully you will be successful and when you are I'd like u to feel u could take your child with you whenever you like.