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Totally sensible. And it's ok to have it off-limits for a speed dating event, or even the first few dates, beyond a general industry. Some people might not like it but first impressions are about getting to know someone's personality and their likes/dislikes, it doesn't really matter what their job is so long as they're not unemployed and looking for somewhere to cocklodge.

So this is where you practice boundaries. "I'd rather not discuss my job just now, what's your favourite movie genre?"

Just ignore him. You are not obliged to reply.

Just don't answer him. You owe him zilch. And I can't help thinking that many men probably put everyone as a match regardless.

If he’s at the next one, or you encounter him in any other way, could you say you’re sorry but you gave him a fake number last time. This way he won’t know you blocked him and he won’t think that’s your phone number anymore. And if he wants your number still/again you can actually just say No.

Ah, sorry, I misunderstood.
I still think you should trust your instincts.
Can I ask if there is a reason why you wouldn't want to say what your job is? I agree that you shouldn't give details away that could make you searchable on the internet. Would mentioning your role to them do this?

Don't answer it, just block. He didn't put you as a match, so that is a bit odd. Trust your instincts.

You can amend your profession to "I work in x industry" so a doctor works in healthcare, a teacher works in education etc.

Younger me would have replied with sorry think you have the wrong number! Older me would say sorry but I don’t feel comfortable giving my number at this stage and would prefer to go
the website.

Op when you say what you do for work is a bit public and he could figure it out by having your number, do you mean if he put your number into a search online it’d bring up public pages about you? If it’s a number you also use for work and would come up with more info about you and your job online, I’d definitely be wary of giving it out. Especially if it had workplace addresses etc. Might be worth getting a cheap sim and phone for future dating if it’s a work number and would come up online.

I agree. He’s chanced his arm asking for the OP’s number and she’s given it to him. He’s seen that as a green light to message her - I don’t see he’s done anything wrong at all.

Although I wouldn’t have given my number to a man I didn’t want to contact me in the first place, if I did get a message and wasn’t interested I’d just send a polite ‘thanks but no’ reply

I’d only block if he didn’t take no for an answer.

Think the lesson for OP is don’t give out your number if you don’t want to be contacted by that person.

Yes, that’s why I suggested something else too. I just thought better to say something than just block

I also don't agree with blocking/ghosting people for no real reason or without explanation, but apparently that's how the world is now.

OP isn’t cutting off a relative or dear old friend. She met this man for a few minutes. What do you think she owes him?

Yes this is perfect and what I would do.

But why? Why lie and make him think someone has given him a fake number?

Why would asking for a number at a dating event and sending a polite message be a red flag?

Does nobody just communicate normally?

Or more direct: great to meet you! It was a fun evening but I don’t think we’re a good match. All the best

Could you message to say: Eh? Not sure what you are talking about. I think you have the wrong number.

He overstepped the boundaries of the event, not you and whilst you wanted to state your preference for waiting for site matches before exchanging details he sprung the question on you and it is understandable to have felt awkward face to face.

Ignore and block him and his special entitlement to immediate responses at an organised event where he thinks the rules don't apply to him!!! 📵 Always handy when they wave their red flags early!🚩

Hope you get match notifications and if not, you've got your response ready for any flag waving, oversteppers next time. 🙂

I'm not sure he did anything wrong? He asked for your number, you gave it to him, he messaged a normal message asking how you were.

It's absolutely fine not to want to pursue anything with him and to work on your own boundaries. That's great. But I don't think he should be vilified.

I also don't agree with blocking/ghosting people for no real reason or without explanation, but apparently that's how the world is now.

@lycheetothestar trust your gut and just don’t reply. I went to such an event a long time ago and one guy launched himself over the table at me and literally begged ‘just give me a chance! I’m really a good guy! I just need a chance!’. I’ve been put off since then and never attended another again!

This guy reminds me of him (though not so extreme 😅), he’s basically probably been to one of these before and rarely gets matched so he’s circumventing the process. One of the attractions of these events is to avoid any awarkdness by avoiding rejection face to face and getting any matches in the safety of your own home and not having anyone you don’t like pester you for a number.

So don’t feel bad, trust your gut and just ignore as who knows how he’ll be if you engage with him as he may feel entitled to then pester you for a date which will be more stressful and intense.