Things that don’t bother you that seem a big deal to other people

Travelling solo or going to the theatre/ cinema on your own. I love it.

Me too!

Yeah that's terrible, everyone should have some independence, kids included.

But spending time as a family at home isn't some big controlling awful thing. It can just be nice.

Noisy kids playing out in the street and even (gasp!) the odd bash from a football on the wall or fence or having to chuck one back over for them. Doesn't bother me at all.

I'm just glad they're out in the fresh air and they are always lovely when they ask for a ball back.

God yes. And people who use the phrase “we prefer to do things as a family”. Like the people who stop their kids going on school trips because everything has to be done with the family or not at all.

Unbearably stifling. Kids from families like this leave home as soon as they are able to.

What plans are you expecting them to have?

We spend a lot of time in our garden as a family. DD loves helping with the gardening, if it's warm enough we'll cook and eat out there. Doesn't involve a lot of plans.

We live next to a nature reserve and have an active dog. Often we'll go for a walk, do a bit of "adventuring" or collect flowers/leaves/pinecones/stones. Do a bit of painting at home. Cook a nice dinner.

Family time doesn't have to mean the zoo or theme park. It's just being together.

Why is that "twiddling their thumbs"? Where would you rather the DH was?

And why is it women specifically you think are he culprits here? Do no men you know like their family?

Family time.

I see so many women wanting the family to be together on weekends but nobody has plans. It's like the women just want their husbands home twiddling their thumbs.

No clearly not since that poster says they like to have one shower between 10 and 5 meaning 10am and 5pm.

"DH gets really grumpy if he doesn't have his morning shower, I like to have one at any point between 10 and 5 depending on what I'm doing for the day, and I can skip one depending on how I feel/activities/the weather without making a fuss"

Yep. Zipper merging. If everyone took turns and just slotted in like the teeth of a zip, we'd have less backed up roads where there's a merge or roadworks.

Also, you’re supposed to merge in turn at the point where the lane ends, not miles back, so the people “pushing in” are actually the ones doing it right!

No, that's you talking about friendships.

My DH can talk to who he wants about what he wants and see whichever friends he wants, whenever suits

But if he starts planning things with another woman and not telling me that's where he's going or who he is seeing, there's a reason for that. There's a reason those ones are hidden.

Emotional affairs are affairs without the physical side of it. And so they're hidden. Friendships are not hidden.

Ive also seen it said on here that if two people of the opposite sex go for dinner together everyone will look at them and think they’re dating and it’s therefore inappropriate for partners to go for dinner with opposite sex friends because it’s a “date”. I can’t say I’ve ever speculated about what kind of relationship fellow diners might have (unless it’s one of those really mismatched pairs that could be father and daughter or woman and sugar daddy. But that’s just idle nosiness!)

Toilet seat down
using a towel more than once

I agree with your list, OP, and with other pps.

Am totally baffled by the modern obsession with making a massive, Hollywood-style fuss over every rite of passage. Hen dos in particular seem to the the work of the devil, from what I read on MN! But then I hate being the centre of attention, so I would think that.

Although I'm a SPAG fusspot I never mind split infinitives. I just don't get what the problem is (I have a degree in English). To boldly go etc is fine by me.

I hardly ever take photos. OK - I'm lazy and I may regret this but I think so many people nowadays fail to live in the moment. The minute their child appears on the school stage, or they arrive at a holiday destination - out comes the phone and they're taking shots and videos. Put it away and experience life at first hand!

And this one will not make me any friends (sorry). Travel. I can take or leave travel, which is tantamount to heresy in the 21st century. And I don't want to hear about other people's travels, thank you. If you've tramped through the virgin rainforest or walked to the South Pole - maybe. But I've suffered so many people's holiday photos and had to sit through so many dinner party conversations about holidays, deals on airline tickets, hotels, excursions.....aaaarrrhhhgggg! I don't talk about my own travels - if someone asks, I'll answer briefly, but fail to understand how anyone else can give a hoot.

This. A partner watering the plant of the “friendship” when completely ignoring the need to water the plant with their spouse.

I mean… sometimes friends do need more attention than your partner if they’re having a tough time or you and the friend are trying to plan a holiday or something. Both my partner and I sometimes ignore each other to stare at our phones and message other people! He doesn’t need my full undivided attention 100% of the time.

I’ve also got no idea who he’s messaging or what sex they are or what plans he’s making (and the same in reverse). If either of us arrange something with a friend we let the other know once the plans are made. “By the way, I’m having dinner with Susan on Tuesday”. But as for the amount of conversation with Susan that preceded the plan, I’ve no idea. He doesn’t know how much or little I might be messaging friends either because our private conversations with other people aren’t each other’s business.

So when people on this thread say they’re not bothered about emotional affairs I think this is what we mean - stuff we consider normal friend interaction that others on MN don’t.

No, you haven’t.

No, you haven't

Skid marks. Obviously not if it's huge volumes of sticky poo that didn't flush, but a couple of small brown marks that reveal that this toilet has been used for shitting in within the last 24 hours, meh. It gets cleaned often enough, and unlike many people I actually unclip the seat and clean that from time to time too, along with its attachment points.

I'm not bothered about what the people I don't know sitting on another table are wearing, either. I don't even notice. Ditto food shopping. I couldn't care less if somebody's in Tesco's in their PJs, I am in there to get my shopping.

Oh no. I draw the line at table manners.

I fully expect my kids and DH (I wouldn’t have married him if I couldn’t have a meal with him) to have decent table manners.

Everyone else can have shitty table manners if they please but I will be quietly judging you. I don’t know why but this is just a non negotiable for me.

You have somewhere between 5 and 10 showers a day?

Have i read that correctly?

Oooh, a good one for this thread...

I don't care if someone has a request that doesn't affect me in any way.

If someone doesn't want their wedding photos on SM? Fine, of course I won't do it.

If someone wants everyone to wear a colour of accessory I already have? Go nuts.

If you don't want me to spend my own money or time, then I generally don't care.

Being single. It suits me. Holidays on my own, because I can do whatever I like. Eating out alone. It’s great. Ironing stuff: I don’t like ironing but I love the way things look when ironed, so it’s worth it.

Most things!

I try to not waste my time ruminating on inconsequential things. Shop assistant was rude? Annoying, but it was a minute of your life- let it go. Bad meal in a restaurant? Just don’t go back. Someone up your arse on the motorway? You’re driving your car, not them, and you’re in control- let them overtake and off they go.

But that’s friendship not an emotional affair.