Sister angry I “yanked” my nephew’s arm and told him off

And yanking and 2 year old should never be seen in the same sentence.

Tell your sister you’ll apologise once BIL apologises for not supervising his kid properly. I’ve got a toddler and wouldn’t be that fussed if my sister told him off in the way you did even if it’s not the exact same way I would react. He’s not going to be scarred for life, most likely forgot about it two seconds later so she needs to get a grip or otherwise ensure she is parenting her own child properly 100% of the time he’s around animals if she feels so strongly about this. All the gentle parents will disagree with me but I dont see anything wrong with the phrase you used either, maybe the toddler is too young to understand or maybe it helps them realise not to do it again, either way I don’t believe they will literally think you are about to hit them in the face and be scared of you going forward, that’s ridiculous.

I don’t think you did anything wrong. A tug on his arm will be significantly less traumatising than a bite in the face from the dog - for everyone involved. You want to make sure that the boundary isn’t pushed again, which I feel like the gently gently approach suggested by others could have led to.

???? An "almost 3 year old" is literally 2. That is how ages, and indeed numbers, work.

I think you handled it wrongly, you used inappropriate language and actions. You're not a parent so that's understandable. I think you should explain your side of the story calmly because you were protecting your dog and nephew, albeit too strongly.

However, you don't seem to take on board anyone's opinions and come across aggressively so I can't see this being resolved, which is a shame for your mum.

This.

I agree with the above poster. My niece is the same age and she tried to hit my 3 year old son. I just stopped her and told her that hitting hurts and we use kind hands. I wouldn't say 'how would you like it if I hit you?' because she wouldn't understand.

If it was my 7 year old son hitting then my words would be harsher because he has the understanding.

@KarmaKameelion I absolutely would say it to a man. I have two brothers and a sister and all were loving and kind to my children, so that is my norm.
Don't be looking for sexism where none exists - parents generally want their own siblings to care about their nieces/nephews and have strong bonds, whether those siblings be male or female.

Of course his parents should have been dealing with it in the first place if they were there. Of course it's not on to hit the dog. He probably didi it because the adults were all boring and occupied with themselves, neglecting him and he managed to get everyone and Mumsnet's attention. He's clever.

Amazing isn’t it ? And the childs’ own father was in the room, wasn’t paying attention and blamed OP for intervening the way she did. So let’s blame the non parent female for the shit parenting from the actual male parent.

Oh my goodness he’s 2!!!! “4 months off 3” is 2! It’s not even close to three.

Your behaviour was wildly inappropriate, I cannot believe what you said to him. If I were your sister I’d be furious.

@Hufflemuff . I disagree with you - BIL should have prevented this. As the parent in charge, he should have been physically between the child and dog.

You can't take a break or become engrossed in a magazine when young children are around dogs. You need to be aware of the location of dog and child at all time and be constantly assessing the risk to both.

This is what I mean by saying that most people are unwilling to supervise dogs properly around young children. This is why it is so difficult as a responsible parent staying in a house with a young child who is not used to dogs. You just can't rely on other people to be "on it" because they think supervising from the other side of the room is fine.

Unless the child is actively supervised, dog and child need to be physically separated. I take my child to the loo with me and in the bathroom when I shower when we stay with our relative.

Exactly this. You were over the top on your reaction.

If your nephew is a young toddler I think you were harsh - you taught him not be mean by meaning mean.....

However saying that, his parents should be teaching and parenting him.

I completely get this. And actually you could have saved your nephew as well. We often have dog bites come in our hospital from breeds you wouldn’t expect. Labradors and golden retrievers are known for their nice nature. But when they are snoozing and unexpectedly have an incident like this they’ll sometimes wake and snap by mistake. Children need to be taught young to respect animals. Your sister is being precious

Ffs your DS is being ridiculous. And your drip of a BIL. They’d soon be moaning when DDog bit toddler in the face. You might have a been a bit heavy handed as pp said but you did nothing wrong. YANBU

The mental gymnastics to put the blame on OP here are impressive. The actual parent was in the room. It’s is child. He should have been keeping an eye on him simply because the dog was in the room. But he didn’t. And typically, shit parenting from a man is ignored in favour of heaping criticism on the non parent woman.

This is batshit. The SIL doesn’t think it’s her responsibility to watch her own child?

Good riddance, then.

You did nothing wrong.

The dog could have snapped back and your nephew needs to learn how to handle animals and how to be safe around them.

Tell your sister to get lost...

Just another sign of entitled parents.

You don't need to do gentle parenting to get this across in a better way .

A very stern look, a sharp no and taking the coaster away immediately would have worked better. Then op or the mum should have said we don't hit <insert name> he get sad and scared. Also never ever approach a sleeping dog, it's not fair as they feel safe.

"How would you like it if I hit you in the face?" yep that sounds chavy and aggressive. DO you usually lack in social skills and empathy?

I wouldn't invite them again. The parents are severely lacking. It's always somebody else's fault with these types of parents.

I have seen a dog bite when he was woke from his sleep
You did the right thing. Maybe a litte heavy.

Fucking hell is that really something you want to say out loud?

But it's not a "horrible situation". The dog was fine. You are making this a much bigger deal than it was, grow up!

If you really have an issue with the situation then shout at your BIL. And stay away from the kid.

Expressing anger at a child is rarely effective as a teaching method. It looks more satisfactory to an adult with our empathy for a harsh treatment but kindness and firmness works better than "discipline" if you want behavioural changes