Sister angry I “yanked” my nephew’s arm and told him off

You want to think about that fact you said ‘how would you like it if I hit you on the face?’ to a toddler.

A bit OTT for a two year old but you were right to intervene. The next dog might not be so placid.
I think your sister is being a bit OTT for what it's worth. And you BIL is an arsehole.

Pretty easy to manage the situation without going overboard. Why the need to tell the child off so aggressively? He’s only just not a baby he’s not 6.

“Don’t hit the dog x he’s asleep and we need to be gentle with him”.

@Mmemm but you’re not the parent, and have expressly said you never want to be one.

You were in a situation of defending your elderly dog and hungover, so maybe you didn’t react the best, but going forward you should probably have a boundary yourself that you don’t touch your nephew when you’re angry, nor should you discipline him as you don’t know appropriate age/stage interventions.

How did a 12 year old dog suddenly become 14 years old?

You were too aggressive. A child of nearly 3 won't simply do what he has been told all the time and probably had no thought that the dog could be hurt or startled. Probably just wanted it's attention. It also wouldn't have been badly hurt by a toddler wielding a coaster. I'd have worried more about what the dog might do to the child.

And, yes generally, parents feel very protective of their children and resent others telling them off. Why didn't you alert your bil?

It's cos you're a woman, OP.

Daddy-of-the-Year can sit on his lazy arse and do feck all in this situation (except snitch to his wife) but you need to your exert your inner #BeKind at all times - even in stressful, unexpected, time-critical situations.

It would also have been YOUR fault if the child had been bitten. Internalised misogyny is alive and kicking on MN.

Getting it very wrong would’ve been not stepping in and allowing the child to continue until he was bitten. I think we’re losing sight of that. And no-one would have been kicking anyone’s ass in a car park for using words in the heat of the moment to prevent a child from doing something likely to harm them. That’s just ridiculous.

So apologise that maybe your reaction wasn’t quite right, that that’s understandable as you don’t have children, point out that you were just trying to protect your dog and move on.

Some of the responses on here are utter bat shit. I would not worry about it OP, the kid is fine, no harm done. It could have been a lot worse if the dog had snapped at the kid. Your sister will calm down, just ignore her until then.

the amount of parents who “wouldn’t like it if you spoke to my child like that” “wouldn’t leave you around my child” “disgusting how you threatened a 2 year old” they’re exactly the kinda parents who kids are more often that not little brats.

the dad was in the room and didn’t correct his kid.

kid in your house, smacking your dog with a useless parent. Yea I’d have dealt similarly

if you wouldn’t like your kids spoken to like that, don’t raise bratty kids who have no respect for discipline or boundaries

hope doggy is ok 🥰

People always grab children's arms when they are about to do something that isn't safe.

You sister and her husband owe you an apology. They did not supervise their child properly and let him be abusive toward an animal. If they don't step in, this is only going to get worse as he gets older. He is now old and big enough that could cause an animal pain, but doesn't have the understanding not to and his parents aren't teaching him.

It literally isn't.

Even the argument you are making concedes that it literally isn't, or you wouldn't have to talk about perception.

‘Yank’ was in inverted commas. Meaning OP was accused of it by the seemingly useless father who sat around while this was happening. She says she didn’t actually yank his arm - just moved it out of the way.

It's not about modern parenting. It's that you used words that would get your ass kicked in a car park with an adult. If you are smart enough to not say that to an adult, you know not to say it to a two year old.

Yes, your bil should have done his job. But he didn't.

So tell your sister that you're sorry he's crap and you stepped in and you got it very wrong but he needs to stop it next time.

You asked a question, you don't like the responses and are being quite aggressive in your replies.
You could have handled this a lot better.

That’s completely idiotic.

Unless I had just hit someone else in the face over a parking bay??

Try harder, hun.

FFS! She didnt yank his arm!! Hence the apostrophes…. her sister accused her based on BILs story - who clearly wasn’t watching

You did not go too far
The hysteria here is ridiculous
The BiL should have supervised his child. This is the person your sister should be angry at.

That’s fine. So just put on your big girl pants and say exactly that to your sister and move on.

There’s not much damage you can do with a coaster at 2 years old. I noticed you keep using the term ‘whacking’, to make it sound harsher but you refuse to admit you ‘yanked’…it’s all in the perspective.

Fine thank you. We don't go into sulks and demand apologies from one another when we fail to supervise our own children amd they hit dogs.

OP do you have anger issues at other times also? The child is only 16 months off 4 and yet you are shouting and physically manhandling them against parent's wishes. They are just starting to explore right from wrong in their neurodevelopment and then an angry dog lady screamed at them.