Sister angry I “yanked” my nephew’s arm and told him off

He didn't exactly rush in did he if the aunt had time to cross the room remove the coaster and tell the child off

Ultimately he was THE parent in the room minimum he should have been doing is talking over the aunt and be a step behind not sitting on his behind then blaming her for not parenting HIS child appropriately

Could have been kinder? I’m a mum of 10 and either the OP suitably chastises the brat, or the dog would, which would you prefer??

I'm with you OP, he needs to know you don't go round hitting animals. That would have made me really cross as well and in the moment i might well have done similar. I can't stand anyone being mean to animals.

It's funny but people are really against gentle parenting on here, but then where someone clearly tell a child that what they're doing is not ok they don't like that either.

O cer i grafu y coc oen, na ffafr a dy hunan wir.

No but really who is to say, the only person who could know that is the BIL, and it probably explains why he and his wife are so annoyed at. OP.

Give me a break!

He needs to be a bit quicker if an animal is involved! No doubt if the poor dog had bitten the kid he’d have been quick to speak up and blame the dog.

Whos to say the Father wasnt just about to open his mouth or sweep in to do/say something if his SIL had not jumped in and handled the situation in a ver y heavy handed manner.

I think you should grow up a bit and not be so overly aggressive towards a child. You can say no and remove him from the pet but you sound overall very childish.

And sitting on your arse ignoring the child hitting a dog waiting for the dog to bite back isn't giving even 10% 🙄

You were unreasonable. Not for saying something to your nephew but for what you said. Yes he needs to know not to do it but that’s not the way to teach him, I wouldn’t even say that to my almost 5 year old. Even children that are old enough to know don’t always do the right thing, their brains aren’t fully developed for a long time yet and they often make silly choices.
You asked whether what you said was unreasonable, a lot of people have said it was and all you’ve done it argue with them. That shows you weren’t really asking for opinions, you were asking for people to back you up and are angry that some people’s opinions are different to yours.
Yes the father should have been watching but that doesn’t justify what you said to the child. He also probably didn’t say anything to you at the time because he was afraid of causing issues with you when you’re not his family so told your sister instead so she could decide whether to raise it with you. Judging by your reactions here, he was justified in that. YTA.

No not at all and of course if you live with dogs thats completely unreasonable. We have about 15 dogs in this family between everyone, so common sense and some structure is essential.not all in the house obviously but still, if you are ever in a position where you know you cannot 100 % supervise, just put things in place to make sure everyone is happy and safe.

I came to that conclusion by reading your post, and I am sure if you reread it you will see why it can be read that way. Who has suggested that separating the kid from the dog for a short time isn't something that can be included in the wide variety of things that make up "supervising your children around dogs"? Nobody could possibly be against this as an occasional thing.
The way you are saying it makes it sound like you think the kids and dogs should always be kept apart, and that's why it has been questioned.

We all know it is impossible to do so 100% of the time, no matter how careful you are as a parent.

What’s so hard about the child’s actual parent watching over them??

No, not sure how you came to that conclusion. Im just saying, in this case, as its only a visit, and if the op wants dog to be kept safe, and toddler needs to be kept safe, what is wrong with closing a door for a short while during visit? Or at least untill mum or dad can be 100 % present. So if my brother visits with his dog, and im busy making dinner, i ask him can you take the dog to another room as im busy right now? And i would not depend on or expect him to supervise the kids with his dog, and he does. When im 100% present again dog comes out kids play etc

They aren’t necessarily “seeking different opinions.” The aibu part is rhetorical; it’s just a rant.

I don’t think it’s vigorous debate at all.

I’m just sick of seeing AIBU threads where the OP is unwavering in their belief that they are not the unreasonable one and won’t take any criticism or feedback. What is the point of seeking different views if they’re clearly not wanted?

I'm not sure what you advocating - are you saying small children shouldn't ever be allowed in the living room if a family has dogs?

I'd fall in the middle here. It is well-nigh impossible for anyone to constantly supervise a child. Accidents can happen to the most careful parents.

However that's the the thing. The more parents who are absolute arses and wail about the fact that their kid might have been frightened by someone pulling them out of the way of a runaway horse, the less people are going to want to do it. And we all need people to do it. And if they do it without actually killing the child, we should say thank you. Not demand public apologies.

YANBU. OP, you didn't yank his arm you held it , you didn't threaten to hit him, you simpy tried to make him see his actions were unkind & wrong. I think that is something that needs to be addressed from a young age, as that's when they will take it on board. It's for his own good, how many times do you see in the news little children getting bitten or mauled to death by dogs because adults weren't paying attention.

But what in the world is wrong with making everyone’s life a little bit easier and just closing the door to keep toddler away? Why insist on letting the toddler in and out of the room? Whats so hard about closing a door 😂So for example (not dog related) i visited my brother when DD had just started walking, we live in a bungalo, brother had very very steep stairs. We spent the whole visit walking DD up and down the stairs because she was fascinated by them, could not have a proper conversation with brother, could not sit down for a meal. Next visit, took some stair gates with me- sorted. DD safe, all happy.

Nope. Unacceptable.

Parents are responsible 100 percent of the time. Full stop. Don’t come whining to me that it’s haaaaard. No one is forced to have children.

And if one enlists the help of the village, don’t critique or second guess them.

My point is It is impossible to supervise 100% all of the time, something as simple as turning your back to wash the dishes allows enough time for something to happen. Sitting down to face another person for a conversation is enough of a distraction for something to happen.

Yes, the child’s parents are expected to supervise 24/7. I can’t believe you even asked the question.

The parents were fortunate that OP intervened in this situation because the child’s useless father failed. That should not be necessary.

Dog or no dog, there are plenty of other hazards. Useless lump should not be sitting there reading a magazine when his toddler offspring is nearby. Ever.

Or, if he expects help from the village, don’t be second-guessing and tattling on the villager who actually got off her arse to remove the child from a potential situation.