It’s likely that my DD (17 months) might have autism. Will she be able to lead a somewhat normal life?

Your hv isn't very professional if she told you your dd will likely be diagnosed with autism.

Ouch, so I had my GP, a specialist Dr in Autism, a deputy head of an Autism school, an NHS Paediatric registrar and two speech therapists tell me that my 2 year old DS had autism - he did not have autism, his MDA diagnosis at 3.5 was S&L delay, there are many types of speech and communication delays/disorders but everyone jumps to autism, that said as you have the family history it may be more likely - so what's your main concerns, is it communication and social skills? your LEA should have a local offering in terms of groups / support.

Also once your GP refers to the Paediatric team you don't have to see the HV - that was important to me because it felt like the HV was just going to rock up with yet another standard test which DS would fail.

Given that HV CANNOT diagnose autism, they've jumped the gun to put it mildly and the most they should be doing is sugesting referal for assessment at a future date/
I absolutely agree that there can be signs very early on... I was pretty sure when my DS2 was only 6m and people thought I was nuts... I was correct, but children vary massively in development and things that looks worrying at 18m can disappear in another 6 months.

I've worked with autistic children for 20 years now and the only thing I know for sure, is that you can't predict. We have kids in nursery and early years that are non verbal , spinning and flapping in a corner with no connection to anyone, who go on to do brilliantly. Others don't. Some will need life long care, others will go on to lead pretty typical lives.

My DS2 was non verbal til he was 5, and unintelligible til he was about 9. Learning difficulties, OCD, physical problems. Special schooled, no GCSEs or anything.
In his 20s now.. after special school MENCAP helped him get some work experience, on the back of that ASDA gave him a few hours...and he's been there ever since, now full time, and earning more than I do!
He's still autistic... he'll always need support, will never live independently, marry or drive. But he has one good friend (also disabled) he has a family who love him, customers who love him because due to his autism he performs his job perfectly and exactly. He knows his customers, remembers everything about them...he still can't shave himself or make a sandwich, but he's amazing.

We could never have predicted that!

What’s your family like though?

Autism is very often hereditary. I’d say an autistic father on one side and an autistic aunty on the other means those characteristics are more likely to raise concern for OP’s child than a child with no known family history.

I think that's a really unprofessional thing for the EYW to say, actually. Especially if your DD hasn't had a recent hearing test. And especially because most of what your describe isn't technically delayed until after 18 months at the earliest.

There isn't an assessment at less than 18 months that can point to a diagnosis either way. A child diagnosed at that age would be by a multidisciplinary assessment and several different observations and histories, from different professionals.The most the assessment would have shown is that your DD is showing some signs that can be indicative of ASD and that she should be referred onto whatever the pathway is in your area. The EYW isn't actually qualified to say anything more than that.

Sounds like you're just the sort of mummy a child with SEN needs....I'm sure with you by her side doing your best for her, meeting her every need and fighting her corner she will flourish.
My DD was referred aged 4 (diagnosed at 7 with ASD) and it was hard to take initially when we were told she was behind in various areas.It is a shock to hear people say your child might have a disability.
But we are in a society alot better geared up to understand and support neurodiversity now (that's not to say you won't have to advocate for her rights and needs to be met on occasions!)
You may have a challenging road ahead and it's understandable you feel daunted by that, but just try not to pre-empt or assume the future as she is still very young.

She's 17 months

Hold back on the labels for the minute

Seriously? I’m asking because my child’s turning two and does none of that!? Why are you so sure at this age why does it matter they are who they are. Just enjoy it!

I don't think anyone here could answer that as it's a huge range within the learning disability spectrum.

None of that seems massively conclusive. I'm not sure my son would give a dolly milk if a random woman asked him to...

I've taught many autistic children. The range in behaviours, skills and challenges is vast. Some kids I didn't realise were autistic until I read their info. Others were very obvious in all their behaviour.

OP, you've literally described my 19 month old there and autism hasn't been mentioned once. I think it's very odd for them to say they'll likely have a diagnosis of autism based on those things at 18 months.
Mine doesn't point, doesn't talk, doesn't always respond- sometimes does they're not distracted, doesn't do things if I ask them to (not sure if it's a lack of understanding or a lack of cooperation!)

I’m 31, autistic, I work full time in project/process improvement. I’m engaged. I own my own home and have a dog. I’m happy and thriving.

i was bullied a lot in school and I don’t have many friends at all, but everyone describes me as nice, kind and warm hearted. So I’m happy with that.

id say I live a normal life, I’ve adapted things to make my life easier and my world may be smaller than other people my age. But I’m happy.

My DC is autistic. My answer is that it depends you mean by “normal”. There’s every reason to think my DC can lead a happy and productive adult life, probably independently. It might well look different to many other people’s though because his skills and what he finds fulfilment in differs from most people and that’s ok. I suspect twenty years ago he’d have been undiagnosed and probably called difficult or naughty - I’m hoping that knowing about his autism as a young child means he’s been well supported growing up, understands himself better than he otherwise would have done and has had every opportunity to succeed as an adult - whatever that looks like for him.

At the moment he’s happy and doing well at school and has good NT and ND friends. He’s had some very hard periods, especially as a younger child, and he has difficult days still. But for the most part we have a happy family life and I am hopeful it will continue. It’s nothing like the awful scenarios I pictured when he was two and autism was first raised with me.

Not really there’s lots of literature out there now that says toddlers do show quite clear signs of autism from a young age.

My 18m old did (she’s now two), strange hand movements, no speech, no understanding, obsessed with spinning anything she could, mouths everything, doesn’t seem to acknowledge people, didn’t respond to name, difficult to engage with…

Haven't you already posted about this?

My autistic DD is having a ball in her first year at uni, not going to lie it took a good while to find their tribe at school, around year 9 but since then has soared

I'm autistic, but didn't get a diagnosis until I was 34. I won't lie, I didn't have the best time at school, I was bullied most of the way through it, although it wasn't so bad towards the end as the bullies left as soon as they could and I stayed on for 6th year (Scotland). I did have a few friends but never really felt like I had a friendship group.

Nowadays, I have a full time job, I own my own flat and car, I've even been married. Admittedly I'd like more of a social life, but I'm working on going to organised events and meeting more people.

I know this isn't your question but after 13 years of being a mum and everything being somewhat OK in life it all came crashing down quite spectacularly when my 3rd and youngest child was in y3 and 7. If I could have learnt and parented from an earlier age to meet his needs i would give anything.

17months means you have time to learn to parent to his needs, help and mold... and also give yourself time to learn l. Make mistakes and adjust.

You will be amazing and so will he

Take care xx

Some people with autism have meaningful, fulfilling, happy lives with strong social connections. Some people without autism don't have these things. Your DH, for example, might have suffered rejection (and who hasn't?) but he's also ended up with a lovely wife and child.

I'm not trying to minimise the struggles of autistic people. My DH and DS are autistic, so I know that even happy, successful autistic people have real struggles NT people do not. But no one knows what lives any of their children are going to have - that loss of control is part of parenthood.

I commented on your last post along with others saying that it doesn't sound as definite as the HV sounds in your account. I do wonder whether she was that definite? Most professionals are very reluctant to say anything about a diagnosis unless they are qualified to do so - they will limit themselves to describing a child's needs and delays.