It’s likely that my DD (17 months) might have autism. Will she be able to lead a somewhat normal life?

Nope. Certainly not at 18 months. Maybe by 3

@sha160528 please can you tell me more about the hearing test? she had her hearing checked when she was a newborn and passed. Does that count? She does turn when she hears a loud noise or hears singing etc so would that be enough to rule out any hearing issues?

Young kids have notoriously bad Eustachian tubes, it’s a design fault really. They really need to grow into them, but some are more problematic than others. They can get glue ear, which can be pretty much permanent or can come and go to an extent, which is why some kids need grommets to assist. I’d get this aspect assessed as a priority just to see that it’s not impacting. One of mine had pretty permanent glue ear by the time they had it drained and grommets fitted, yet their hearing fluctuated.

ETA - I’d get a paed ENT assessment, as some GP’s are not the best in this area.

Yeah my DD was the same at that age. Grew up with no autism. Had 6 words by the time she was 3 ( I remember that as the HV stressed about it)

Op, your DD sounds exactly like my NT DD did at 17 months. I don't know about the pointing as I don't think I was aware of it as an issue but my DD didn't do imaginative play and she could only speak a few words at 17 months (actually your DD sounds more advanced than mine was!). I'm not saying your DD won't be diagnosed with autism but without the family history I'm not sure they would be indicating this so early.
Either way it sounds like you love her very much and are a great mother so I'm sure she will do very well in life.

Probably because it's a build up.of wax but I would still request one when my son was being assessed for autism he had a hearing,test if anything it just rule s things out .

Try not to worry right now. You are doing all the right things for now. Be as proactive as you can and only time will tell the rest.
Autism has an absolutely massive range. Some will never speak, use the toilet independently or have any semblance of a 'normal' life. Others will go to uni, get a degree, a job, get married and have children. There is no way of knowing where your DD will be on that spectrum at the moment, and there is nothing to be gained from trying to imagine the future for her, apart from more worry.

I would request a hearing test just to rule anything.out like glue, ear

Has your DD had her hearing tested?

As for the autism, who knows how this would affect her. I have a friend with (now adult) child with autism who is placed in a group home, non verbal, highly distressed, not toilet trained. I have a child with autism who, while on their own ‘train tracks’, has a good degree, good job, good friends (or exactly the same as them), and good life ‘for them’, they are happy. This has involved finding good fits though for schooling through to career path though, not trying to shoehorn them into stuff that won’t fit. Yet, it’s supposedly all ‘autism’ and everyone is the same with three letters, ASD, let they are obviously not.

This

The HV can't diagnose. Ours said much the same but I had done a lot of research and it didn't fit. Dc was seen by specialists and it was dismissed.

Children develop at different rates. Also there are a lot of other explanations for things. Sometimes people jump to autism because it's the most well known but then overlook other important symptoms.

At 17 months, literally no one can tell you what sort of life she will have. HTH.

She's 17 months old, my DD pointed once at 18 months old and was NT. Other than the family history what are you going on? the HV/Early years worker are in no way anywhere near qualified enough to tell you that your child is autistic and I suspect they are over reaching. Autism in young children in the UK is only diagnosed through a rigorous multi disciplinary assessment which do not include a HV nor an early years support worker. There are so many other things that could be going on, I'd ditch the HV and ask your GP for a referral for a hearing test and to the paediatric team but I suspect your GP will tell you to hang on for 6 months.

And what clinical or medical qualifications did the EYW have?

The only people qualified to diagnose autism have multiple degrees and years of medical training

I will be honest with you about my journey and thoughts with an ASD child aged 8 (he was on the path way from 2). Take this with a pinch of salt, as most people's experiences will be different as each person on the spectrum is completely different from one another.

My DS is verbal, but has social difficulties, emotional disregulation and some mild learning difficulties. He goes to mainstream and has a 1:1.

Firstly, he is extremely intelligent around his special interests (now, its the weather). Be prepared for your child talking intensely around this, and actually show an interest in it yourself to improve their self esteem and bond. I am now an expert in the weather myself!

DS struggles socially, particularly social cues, and I have numerous incidences of DS causing upset to another child or himself, due to being unable to read the situation correctly or other children finding him unpredictable. Its important to try and teach social norms at home. Me and DS frequently role play situations at home so he can practice how to make friends or deal with situations that he finds challenging.

Emotional disregulation is a big one, and DS will regularly have meltdowns. I let him feel his emotions. I dont make a fuss. I offer cuddles and support if he wants it. However, usually, he just needs a quiet space somewhere alone and he is over it in 5-10 minutes, once he has had time to think.

Overall, I think my DS leads a relatively normal life. He does have some additional difficulties vs a normal child, but with a bit of extra guidance and support, he seems to get on fine. He has made friends in the street that he plays with, but has really struggled to make school friends.

Neither of them are qualified to say she is likely to end up with a diagnosis of autism,at the most they can say they have some concerns and would like to.refer her to appropriate agencies but it's widely inappropriate to suggest she's going to get a diagnosis especially as she's so young arctic point.

When preparing for tribunal for DS1 we had SALT assessment by someone who was qualified to diagnose and alongside other assessment tools also used DISCO. This is a diagnostic interview of caregivers that interrogates early development from birth. Caregivers often pick up on things before the child is old enough to be assessed in their own right, eg using ADOS.

i’d say both are necessary - history and a snapshot of current functioning.

I’m not sure where HV not qualified to diagnose fits into this but I would follow it up, especially given family history. Early input can mean that your child starts school with their needs understood. And has a better outcome.

I can still remember the head of DS1’s primary school claiming that he was a manipulative liar when he was 7. In truth he was a selectively mute autistic child. He was already anxious so this view fed back to him daily was disastrous. Special school couldn’t undo the damage and as an adult he is now housebound and not able to communicate with the outside world. I am full time carer.

Delay damaged his mental health. This is far more disabling than an accurate diagnosis of autism or even a jumping the gun suggestion of autism could ever have been.

My son was diagnosed around 2.5 years old. He was deemed to have the cognitive age of 9 months old at this age. We were told he may never speak, or develop socially. But any progress is positive.

Anyway he's nearly 12, and a very typical 11 year old, he still finds some social situations a bit overwhelming so may opt out of going. But on the whole he's caught up. Now if you met him you wouldn't really know.

I'm only saying this as when he was first diagnosed it seemed like a really gloomy outlook for him.

The autism spectrum is quite vast. At one end you have people who are completely non verbal and at the other you have people who you would never think they're autistic as they're so high functioning. Your dd is very young so I'd hold off on worrying just yet.

My dd was diagnosed when she was 8. She had quite a hard time during primary school, she struggled to make friends, she couldn't keep up academically (she's also dyslexic) and was in speech therapy for a few years. We managed to secure her a place at special secondary school and it was the making of her. Being around other kids who had the same difficulties as she did gave her a sense of belonging.

She made a lot of friends some who she's still friends with now as an adult (she's 22). She managed to get a few GCSEs and she's currently in college doing Joinery. She still struggles in some aspects, but nothing like the way I worried she would. She's very independent and strong willed now.

Op, you sound like a brilliant mum who will get DD the most support you possibly can, so straight from the off her life will be better than your DH's who didn't have that.

But on a related note - your DH found you, and you love and accept him, so try to put that fact first when thinking about her long term future.

From experience with ADHD, you do have to be the squeaky wheel and keep nagging and pushing the authorities to get what you're entitled to. It shouldn't be like that, of course, but in general my advice is to make yourself a pain in the arse and they will want to make that pain go away 😂