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AIBU?

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School dad

82 replies

Aworldofwonder · 09/05/2025 15:19

Right I'll try to keep this as brief as possible.

DD is 7, in school with a small class. We have gotten to know all the parents fairly well including of one of her friends say Molly.

Molly's dad is very very handsome. This is just a fact, obvious to women and men. My own DH has also commented on it and He's also very charming. He talks fitness a lot to my DH.

A while ago he walked up behind me and complimented me on how I'm looking. It was quietly. He asked me if I've lost a lot of weight. I acknowledged that I had and said we are on a health kick at home and training for an event. He said he really likes to see people improve themselves. I was a little irked and thought mind your own business. I came home and mentioned it to DH later. He actually looked pleased.

Shortly afterwards he was walking by and trailed his hand on my bare shoulder saying ciao. I again mentioned it to DH who shrugged and said he's Italian, they are tactile.

At a kids' party last week he came to sit beside me on the couch. It was at a venue where you could leave them so I'd gone for a quick run. He asked me how it's going. Then he did something so subtle I feel silly explaining it; he had his arm resting on the couch and let his fingers trail the back of my neck and slightly lower just above my top. It was a bit longer than a brush of the skin, definitely not an accident. I turned around to say something and he sort of leaned in, smiled, trailed his fingers under my hair and then stood up and walked off. Before anyone jumps in asking why I didn't tellhin to FRO I was speechless.

It sounds like nothing I know. But it wasn't nothing.

And I'm furious. I'm furious because he's clearly so entitled, so used to women loving attention from him, so comfortable flirting in front of his wife, so subtle yet insidious. And I'm furious with my DH who obviously thinks it's ok because we'll I don't know, maybe because it's a compliment.

Anyway

Yabu : you're being ridiculous, just keep your distance and stop being a drama llama
Yanbu : fuck these men thinking they can act how they want

OP posts:
YourNumber · 09/05/2025 15:52

JustinOtherdad · 09/05/2025 15:50

Male POV: he's 100% trying it on.

That's not just a little bit of friendly flirting. And tbh if he knows he's that handsome he's confident he can get a married women to cheat with him by acting like that - which frankly is creep af.

Male point of view. 🙄 We don’t need men to mansplain and tell us what’s going on here. Women deal with this shit all the fucking time.

Guinessandafire · 09/05/2025 15:52

I bet his tactic works often enough for him to try on it every woman when the opportunity occurs.

There will be some school mums who are shitty relationships that would lap up that attention and get themselves into all sorts of trouble.

I know of one school dad, an ex of a friend, who simply played the numbers game with mums until he hit on one at the right time in the right situation, and got what he was after. He wasn't movie star handsome either.

Aworldofwonder · 09/05/2025 15:50

I didn't tell DH about the last incident. Truth be told I felt upset at the prospet that I would need to convince him after he was so dismissive of the dad coming up and commenting on my 'improving myself'.

OP posts:
JustinOtherdad · 09/05/2025 15:50

Male POV: he's 100% trying it on.

That's not just a little bit of friendly flirting. And tbh if he knows he's that handsome he's confident he can get a married women to cheat with him by acting like that - which frankly is creep af.

YourNumber · 09/05/2025 15:47

Tombone · 09/05/2025 15:40

He’s is a creep and you’ve every right to be furious but I think you’re being harsh on DH . Trusting you and not responding with toxic male ownership and aggression is quite refreshing on here.

If DH is guilty of thinking you’re not going to be flattered because he knows you love him or that you are well equipped to deal with the bell end . I think that’s pretty hot and i am a straight man 😳

Her husband doesn’t need to respond with ‘toxic male ownership’ and ‘aggression’ but he shouldn’t be almost impressed that his wife has pulled because it’s an attractive man FFS. When it’s happened to me, my partner has been disgusted and has said that the men are creeps, he has never been impressed, treated it as a compliment and minimised sexual harassment. One of the men that did this to me was actually a school dad. My partner made sure I felt comfortable to still do the school run and was very cool with him when he did bump into him.

BoredZelda · 09/05/2025 15:47

Your husband is entirely ok, even flattered by the fact a really good looking guy put his hands on you? 🤨

EilishMcCandlish · 09/05/2025 15:46

He's a creep. Thinks he can get away with it because he is good looking. His poor wife.
Yuk.

coxesorangepippin · 09/05/2025 15:46

I swear to God next time if you look him in the eye and say 'Fuck. Off.' he will never speak to you again

Aworldofwonder · 09/05/2025 15:45

RabbitPlate · 09/05/2025 15:44

And say it LOUD. Let everyone in the vicinity know he is behaving like this. Be short, sharp and loud.

I wonder if he does this a lot, either affairs or just heavy flirting for the attention.

I have no doubt that he does.

OP posts:
coxesorangepippin · 09/05/2025 15:44

A man trailing his hand up your neck is subtle??

It's flipping assault

This man sounds like a complete predator

RabbitPlate · 09/05/2025 15:44

Aworldofwonder · 09/05/2025 15:29

I will be ready. I froze in surprise.

And say it LOUD. Let everyone in the vicinity know he is behaving like this. Be short, sharp and loud.

I wonder if he does this a lot, either affairs or just heavy flirting for the attention.

Aworldofwonder · 09/05/2025 15:43

Tombone · 09/05/2025 15:40

He’s is a creep and you’ve every right to be furious but I think you’re being harsh on DH . Trusting you and not responding with toxic male ownership and aggression is quite refreshing on here.

If DH is guilty of thinking you’re not going to be flattered because he knows you love him or that you are well equipped to deal with the bell end . I think that’s pretty hot and i am a straight man 😳

I do appreciate the fact that DH is not a jealous man, he trusts me always. We never have issue with me developing male friendships or whatever.

But in this case I was slightly upset and he seemed kind of amused. I really didn't like some man telling me I was improving myself.

OP posts:
noworklifebalance · 09/05/2025 15:42

frockandcrocs · 09/05/2025 15:29

I think it is, because people assume that this handsome, charming, married man can’t possibly be a creep. And that’s how they get away with making women uncomfortable.

I hate men like this.

And some are flattered by it (women, their partners) and it feeds into this

Tombone · 09/05/2025 15:40

He’s is a creep and you’ve every right to be furious but I think you’re being harsh on DH . Trusting you and not responding with toxic male ownership and aggression is quite refreshing on here.

If DH is guilty of thinking you’re not going to be flattered because he knows you love him or that you are well equipped to deal with the bell end . I think that’s pretty hot and i am a straight man 😳

Miyagi99 · 09/05/2025 15:39

That’s really gross, what a c*nt.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 09/05/2025 15:38

Ewww creepy and disrespectful of you.

Swiftie1878 · 09/05/2025 15:36

Well, he’s run that red flag right up the pole, hasn’t he?!

Be on high alert, and next time (there WILL be one) call him straight out and make sure others hear you doing so. Loud and clear; keep your hands to yourself.

Andylion · 09/05/2025 15:36

mnahmnah · 09/05/2025 15:26

I can’t imagine any man I know doing this. Not acceptable. Next time he touches you would just move away and say ‘can you not touch me please? It makes me uncomfortable’

I would be more direct and not use “please”.
“Don’t touch me.”

Aworldofwonder · 09/05/2025 15:34

Avoidingfacebookforabit · 09/05/2025 15:33

He really likes to see people improve themselves! 🤣
Get in the sea
And yes, no shame in freezing in that situation!!

I know! FRO (re the improving myself)

OP posts:
Itiswhysofew · 09/05/2025 15:33

Kick him in the balls. Entitled creepShock

Talking of handsome men. I saw someone on a flight recently, and I kid you not, he had to be the most beautiful man I've ever seen. I couldn't believe my eyes. He looked aristocratic to me, and definitely model-like. I've never seen anything like it(him)Grin

Aworldofwonder · 09/05/2025 15:33

YourNumber · 09/05/2025 15:31

Creepy bastard. Do you think you will be able to tell him to fuck off? I’ve done it before but I understand it’s not always easy when men act like this.

I’d be really disappointed with my partner if he minimised this like yours is.

I was hurt actually. He dismissed it so readily I thought -

Are you flattered?
Are you thinking I'm deluded?
Are you just not paying attention?

So I ended up not telling him about the party.

OP posts:
Avoidingfacebookforabit · 09/05/2025 15:33

He really likes to see people improve themselves! 🤣
Get in the sea
And yes, no shame in freezing in that situation!!

YourNumber · 09/05/2025 15:31

Creepy bastard. Do you think you will be able to tell him to fuck off? I’ve done it before but I understand it’s not always easy when men act like this.

I’d be really disappointed with my partner if he minimised this like yours is.

frockandcrocs · 09/05/2025 15:29

Redpeach · 09/05/2025 15:25

His looks aren't really that relevant surely

I think it is, because people assume that this handsome, charming, married man can’t possibly be a creep. And that’s how they get away with making women uncomfortable.

I hate men like this.

Aworldofwonder · 09/05/2025 15:29

mnahmnah · 09/05/2025 15:26

I can’t imagine any man I know doing this. Not acceptable. Next time he touches you would just move away and say ‘can you not touch me please? It makes me uncomfortable’

I will be ready. I froze in surprise.

OP posts: