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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ðaughter had £280 took off her from her Dad

162 replies

NimbleBee · 09/05/2025 14:55

Hi all, my 7yr old DD has been visiting her grandparents with my ex (her Dad) every Wednesday. Her Grandparents have been giving my DD £5 every week for a year so 52x5=£260 saved. DD saved it at grandparents house in a purse, hoping to spend it on her holiday.
Dd told me yesterday that grandparents had given her this money to bring home now with upcoming holiday.
Dds dad took the money from her and spent it in the Ladbrokes gambling and on alcohol and cigarettes.
I am absolutely fuming and will be having words with ex.
Aibu to tell grandparents what has happened?

OP posts:
B1indEye · 09/05/2025 16:34

MaryGreenhill · 09/05/2025 16:30

Bump

Show quote history

Why does thar mean in this context?

Of course the OP should tell the grandparents, why is it even a question?

AnonWho23 · 09/05/2025 16:32

It might be worth setting up a rooster or go Henry account so that she doesn't have cash. Unfortunately, dad can't be trusted.

JojoM1981 · 09/05/2025 16:32

That's the lowest of the low. Absolutely tell his parents. I bet he's stolen off of them too and it might answer a few questions. They'll also know to give the pocket money in a more secure way.

MaryGreenhill · 09/05/2025 16:30

pinkyredrose · 09/05/2025 16:06

Not another ai post? 'The Ladbrokes'?

Bump

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 09/05/2025 16:29

Absolutely say something

MzHz · 09/05/2025 16:28

When Ds gf told me her brother took her cash point card and stole everything she had (£400) I thought that was the lowest of the low.

@NimbleBee Your H is lower.

Someone2025 · 09/05/2025 16:26

Vaxtable · 09/05/2025 15:35

I would tell them, and ask them that in future the money is given to you not your daughter so her stanky father gets hold of it

But the father has probably bad mouthed the mother to his parents and said she would probably spend it, therefore they decided to keep the money at their house

An account of some sort needs to be set up for her

Steerclearofhate · 09/05/2025 16:24

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MellowCritic · 09/05/2025 16:22

StupidBoy · 09/05/2025 15:08

I'm a bit confused about how a 7 year old knows for sure that he spent it on fags, booze and Ladbrokes bookies, though. Presumbly it was her who told ou this? She wouldn't have been allowed in there with him, so how would she know? I doubt he told her.

Exactly this, the grandparents must know already then surely. The money has been in their house all this time, surely when the child went to take the purse and it was empty the grandparents would be aware of this as the kid has no money to take home.

GreenIsMyFavoriteColour · 09/05/2025 16:22

StupidBoy · 09/05/2025 15:08

I'm a bit confused about how a 7 year old knows for sure that he spent it on fags, booze and Ladbrokes bookies, though. Presumbly it was her who told ou this? She wouldn't have been allowed in there with him, so how would she know? I doubt he told her.

Agree, but all the OP has to do is tell the Grandparents that the money hasn't come hone with DD. It's up to them to establish where it actually went.

It's an odd question, though. Self evidently telling the Grandparents is the right thing to do.

DaisyChain505 · 09/05/2025 16:21

I would talk to the Grandparents and suggest that any money in future is put straight into a bank account that only they or you have access to.

RobinEllacotStrike · 09/05/2025 16:20

of course you tell them.
And ask in the future any ££ for your DD please be handed to you on her behalf as she needs protecting from her good for nothing father.

What a wanker he is.

Steerclearofhate · 09/05/2025 16:19

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Steerclearofhate · 09/05/2025 16:18

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Moonnstars · 09/05/2025 16:17

Yes I would tell them.
She is only 7 years old so I would expect an adult to intervene. You don't need to be nasty about it to them, just explain DD has said that she has been given money by them that she has been saving but the money has been taken and used by her dad for himself, so could they be mindful of giving her money and that it would be better to set up a savings account for her in her name.

thepariscrimefiles · 09/05/2025 16:17

What a scummy piece of shit he is to steal from the money that his own parents have given to his daughter.

You should tell his parents what he has done.

Sassybooklover · 09/05/2025 16:17

Disgusting behaviour but sadly if your ex does have a gambling issues, then not surprising. A relative of mine has a gambling issue, and has taken his children's money and possessions to either spend or pawn. If money is given, it has to be in a taped envelope or given to the children's Mum instead. You absolutely need to tell your ex in-laws what their son has done. Depending on their own finances, they may not be able to replace the money. However, could they pay a sum of money monthly into a bank account for your daughter - one her Dad can't access?! They need to know and understand that giving him money is a no go.

AthWat · 09/05/2025 16:14

TonTonMacoute · 09/05/2025 15:57

I think is a good idea. Suggest that in future they might want to put it in a child's savings account for her instead.

However, tempting as it is to land the low life scum in the shit with the GPs, I wouldn't go too overboard with your explanation - he is still their son. They will be able to draw their own conclusions without you rubbing their noses in it.

Show quote history

What conclusions? The story should be simply what she knows and how she knows it. Nothing more and nothing less.

ThejoyofNC · 09/05/2025 16:14

She will remember this OP. Which means she will also remember how you deal with it.

I would 100% report it to the police. What a low life scum bag he is.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 09/05/2025 16:13

Absolutely yes tell them.

He's a piece of shit.

AthWat · 09/05/2025 16:12

ForRealCat · 09/05/2025 16:07

I think she needs to tell her grandparents. If you do surely that will just come across as an ex shit-stiring?

He's stolen £300 from his nine year old daughter. £300 they gave her. If they react to this as her being "an ex shit-stirring" they need help.
I mean also, as a rule, really, it's best never to shove difficult and awkward tasks off on to your nine year old children when you can do them yourself. Just as a rule.

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/05/2025 16:11

ERthree · 09/05/2025 15:07

You must tell them. They have saved that money for their Granddaughter and believe she is going on holiday and will have plenty of spending money. They need to know their son has stolen that money and gambled it away. If my son done that i would kick his arse and it would be a long time before i could even speak to him.

This

Moobear1420 · 09/05/2025 16:08

I would certainly be letting them know. Was this for a holiday with you or her Dad? Not that it particularly matters as its theft but it does factor in to how you approach this I think. Depending on your relationship with them, you could even just enquire and say this is what DD said to you, so you just wanted to check with them that they had given her "X" amount of money for holiday as she hasn't come home with it. He is still their son regardless so they may still defend him to a degree especially if its a full on attack against him (even though justified), but in saying DD is upset and you just want to ascertain facts would be a way of kindly letting them know

ForRealCat · 09/05/2025 16:07

I think she needs to tell her grandparents. If you do surely that will just come across as an ex shit-stiring?

itsgettingweird · 09/05/2025 16:06

I would mention it but in a questioning way.

“do you know where DDs money you generously have been giving her went? She’s been saving it for her holiday but it’s gone and she said her dad’s taken it?”.

mostly because it’s then not absolutely believing her - leaving it open for them to look into it and your dd won’t be put in the position of her GPs asking her what she did on holiday with her money.