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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ðaughter had £280 took off her from her Dad

162 replies

NimbleBee · 09/05/2025 14:55

Hi all, my 7yr old DD has been visiting her grandparents with my ex (her Dad) every Wednesday. Her Grandparents have been giving my DD £5 every week for a year so 52x5=£260 saved. DD saved it at grandparents house in a purse, hoping to spend it on her holiday.
Dd told me yesterday that grandparents had given her this money to bring home now with upcoming holiday.
Dds dad took the money from her and spent it in the Ladbrokes gambling and on alcohol and cigarettes.
I am absolutely fuming and will be having words with ex.
Aibu to tell grandparents what has happened?

OP posts:
grumpygrape · 09/05/2025 20:57

OP, a few points which I’m confused about.

The thread title says £280 but the calculation is £260, which is it ?

Did you know the GPs were giving her the money ?

What exactly did your daughter tell you about her GPs giving her the purse ?

And what did she say about how her father got his hands on the purse ?

And what exactly happened when he got his hands on the money ?

I wouldn’t confront your ex about this. I’d suggest you contact the GPs and say something along the lines of ‘DD says you gave her a purse with £260/280 pounds, is that right ? She says her father has taken the money. Do you know what’s going on here ?’

I’m not saying you should disbelieve your 7 year old but I think adult clarification would be useful.

pavillion1 · 09/05/2025 20:41

I doubt they'll be surprised

londongirl12 · 09/05/2025 20:34

100% you tell his parents what he’s done. He should be ashamed of himself. He’s stolen off his own child.

NestEmptying · 09/05/2025 20:33

Will they believe you?
It's likely he will deny it and possibly even accuse you of trying to scam money from them.
So tell them if they will believe you. If not tell the police.

IveGotAnUnusuallyLargePelvisISwear · 09/05/2025 20:33

Absolutely tell his parents. If I was being charitable I’d say he needs help to sort his life out. But mostly so they know what he’s capable of. If he can steal from his own young child he can steal from his parents.

ChaToilLeam · 09/05/2025 20:33

Absolutely tell them. What a scumbag that man is.

Othersideofworld · 09/05/2025 20:29

Cap!

ruethewhirl · 09/05/2025 20:25

U53rn8m3ch8ng3 · 09/05/2025 15:01

That's awful, definitely tell the grandparents. What a scum bag

This. What a vile thing for him to do.

commonsense61 · 09/05/2025 19:56

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

NautilusLionfish · 09/05/2025 19:42

What a shit sack!

Balloonhearts · 09/05/2025 18:45

Having words? I'd be calling police and reporting it as a theft/mugging. He stole a little girls purse and stole her money, he deserves to be treated like the criminal he is.

outerspacepotato · 09/05/2025 18:42

Tell them he took her money from her and from now on they need to put any money they want to give her into a bank account that you have access to, not him.

Are they in denial as to what he is?

Fucking loser.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 09/05/2025 18:41

This happens far more than people realise. Have a friend whose daughter was kindly going around to stand watch TV/be company for her great gran. She wasn’t young (mid 30s) and had found where the GG was keeping her cash. So she was stealing it.
Not due to addiction just because she was short of money and wanted nice things.
It broke her mum’s heart when she found out. But then the excuses started and it was brushed under the carpet.

Harpey · 09/05/2025 18:41

Happened to me as a child too. My father also stole our belongings including jewellery and heirlooms belonging to me and my sister. He was addicted to alcohol.

You need to tell the grandparents to pass money direct to you or pay it into an account where your ex doesn’t have access. I think it’s highly likely that other money or gifts passed via him have been stolen.

Can you enlist the grandparents support in limiting access. Ex’s primary relationship is his addictions and not your daughter.

ZepherinDrouhin · 09/05/2025 18:35

Can you open a bank account for your dd and ask her grandparents to transfer money in there directly? I appreciate it takes away the fun of saving cash in a piggy bank but at least it will be safe.

Cherrysoup · 09/05/2025 18:32

Obviously you should tell them, they’ve basically just given it to him and he’s a disgusting thief. 🤬

JohnMajorsChicken · 09/05/2025 18:24

m00rfarm · 09/05/2025 16:52

Don't tell the grandparents that their son stole the money they had saved?

Show quote history

The OP's question was....Aibu to tell grandparents what has happened?
My answer... Of course not.

MyDeftDuck · 09/05/2025 18:21

What a dreadful, disgusting thing to do to anyone, let alone your own child! I would certainly tell her grandparents, they deserve to know what a shit son they have reared.

Boosey · 09/05/2025 18:13

The thought of a little girl saving money like that and having it stolen is heartbreaking.

SheridansPortSalut · 09/05/2025 18:03

Absolutely tell them. There's no reason why you should be covering up his bad behaviour. Let him own it.

Daleksatemyshed · 09/05/2025 17:55

@ShadowTheHedgehog that is really sad, I'm sorry your Dad was such a dreadful Father. Op, tell the GPs, they probably know what a lowlife their son is but I'd still tell them.

Mandemikc · 09/05/2025 17:54

HeyCooper · 09/05/2025 17:19

Yep update them but do it factually so that they can avoid a repeat

what does your ex say about it and how will he replace the cash

This!

Be factual with as little passion or opinion as possible. Keep it pure and factual. They will be more likely to follow you if you don't appear to be attacking their son.

WearyAuldWumman · 09/05/2025 17:52

Coconutter24 · 09/05/2025 14:57

I’d tell them so that they don’t hand over any of your DDs money to him again

This. They need to be warned.

SilviaSnuffleBum · 09/05/2025 17:20

What a prick.
My Mum used to take any birthday/Christmas money that my sibling or I got and spend it on her alcohol and cigarette addictions.

EveryOtherNameTaken · 09/05/2025 17:19

He's scum and they absolutely should know. They were probably so happy to see her saving it away. He has literally robbed his own daughter.