Friends staying over

This definitely needs clarification.
If I had house guests ( which I used to a fair bit, because I lived in a very nice city ) I’d not expect them to be with me all the time as I had too much to do at home / looking my kids , pets and my house .
I would expect them to spend some time with me though ?
maybe a day out / lunch out / dinner ?
I would also hope for a small token gift for accommodating them

They’re not being rude. I think that they didn’t want to assume you’d be doing all the cooking/entertainment etc. The invite should have included an offer of evening meals and (perhaps) some outings. Their response was a slightly awkward way of asking you to clarify. You didn’t think it through.

It does come across as rude of them, but also perhaps they are trying to give you your own space and just wording it badly. I don’t really like staying with people for this reason, apart from close family, as it can be awkward knowing how much time you should/shouldn’t spend with people, navigating trying to give/have a bit of personal space without seeming like you’re treating their house like a hotel. I prefer to stay in a hotel to avoid this, but then you can end up upsetting people too if they want you to stay with them 😂

When my parents went to visit my auntie for the first time (she lives in U.S. now), she sent them an itinerary for every day they would be there and what they would all be doing together 😂. Massively OTT, but if you say to your friends ‘I thought we could spend tomorrow (or next day or whatever) doing xyz together and take them to some local sights, they might well enjoy that. If it was me staying and you hadn’t suggested anything, I’d assume you wanted your own time.
Just talk to them.

I agree with PPs that it's not clear and they may also not be sure what you're able to offer in terms of time. I'd maybe speak to them and ask what their plans are just so expectations are clear. "I just wanted to check what your plans were. I imagined you'd be out on your own for a few of the days but I'd hoped to join you for dinner maybe 3 nights. Let me know what you had in mind."

just say I was thinking it would be nice if we all went out on the weekends. Say it now before more firm plans are made.

As I live in a major city I host family and friends often, but I have no interest in seeing the sites again and again, so I will usually leave them to it. However, we’d organise to meet up in the evening or have a cooked breakfast etc so we do spend time together. Luckily I also have family in holiday destinations so they’ve been able to reciprocate, and in the past I’ve when I’ve visited I’d say I’d love to hang out when are you free or these are the attractions I’d like to visit / things I’d like to do - are you up for any of it? It works for us and feels like a nice balance of spending time together but not imposing.

however, when your friends visit you will be able to gauge if they are trying to be considerate or just using you as a B &B.

Have they been out to visit you before OP? If not, then just speak to them and say, we were thinking that the four of us could spend the weekend together, perhaps take you out and show you the sights, and then as I'm not working, I thought we could maybe go out together every other day, and then on the days in between you could go out and do your own thing, what do you think? That way you're setting your expectations, but making it clear that they will still get some time on their own if that's what they want.

I grew up in a kind of way that my mum expects me to be with her 24/7 - which I don’t think it’s right and I’m keen to give them free time alone together but also spend some time with them as I miss them

Is it your mum staying? With her partner? Or am I horribly confused?

Just speak to them. Say I would love to spend a couple of days with you showing you round (place) /going to the beach.

They may simply be going out so as to not be a burden.

In fairness, it was the OP that invited them. Not the friends who said "Can we come and stay".
My impression is they are trying not to impose upon the generosity, but, as the OP wants to spend time going out and about with them, then the obvious thing to do is to phone / facetime / Whatsapp / Skype / Zoom / whatever other media they use them and just talk, saying how much she is looking forward to spending time with them and showing them round her new home.

Not unreasonable. They’re planning to treat you as free accommodation under the guise of visiting you as friends

My reply to this will be.....

"Will you now...? 🤨"

I think in this situation you are in charge - it’s your home, you’re the hosts. Just tell them that on Saturday night you and DH are planning a BBQ for the 4 of you, on Sunday you will cook fish and that on the Wednesday you have booked X restaurant for the 4 of you as it’s a favourite.

Don't assume the worst based on the responses you get on here. You're not sure of their motivations and you know them well by the sound of it. How can anyone here really give an opinion on even less info than you have. Maybe they just don't want to get in the way of your daily life so are trying not to monopolise your time by treating you like a tour guide. This is only supposition on my part obviously but if I were them I'd be super grateful for your kindness and be very worried about disrupting your life too much by expecting your company in the day too. Not everyone has bad motives. Texts can be so open to misunderstandings too, as has already been said. Talk it out with them with an open heart and see how it goes. You can always just not invite them again.

Have you told them you are taking time off work to spend with them? They might assume you will be at work and are just offering accommodation.

Well unless whenyou invited them you said would you like to come and use our place as a hotel and we'll provide your food for you - nothing like you don't need to bother seeing us then yes they're rude as

As they are your mates I would assume the best of them, and that they aren’t expecting to be entertained by you all the time. Maybe message back suggesting a couple of places you could all go a few nights/days and that they can then play it by ear on the other days.

I think that the fact you have said
I offered to cook as I know it’s expensive to go out and they are on a budget.

means your expectations that but I also assumed that we would go out all together maybe 3 days out of the 7 is a bit strange.

I mean, personally, I would offer to treat you and your partner to a nice restaurant, but I don't think you can complain they aren't taking you out 3 times if you have said you will cook for them all the time.

However, like most things, trying to pick up what everyone's expectations are from texts is always going to result in misunderstandings and miscommunication. Why not speak to them and get a much better feel for what everyone is planning and thinking ? We have so many ways to have (free) conversations with people the world over these days.

they might be thinking "We don't want to impose, we'll clear out of @Nothankyov 's way each day".

Maybe they didn’t want to give you the impression that they expected you to entertain them during the day / go sight seeing with them

They are using you instead of booking a Air B and B.

I had this once, they stayed a week but I barely saw them as they spent time with their relatives nearby. I think the point is that you feel used.

Have they not asked you, for example, if you'd like anything bringing over from the UK (small things that might be too expensive to ship overseas), if there's a local restaurant they can take you to to say thanks for hosting them, shall they go food shopping with you to help pay for their meals etc?

Basically have they made any show of recognition that you're doing them a huge favour and their gratitude?

If I was your friends I'd be doing all of the above plus asking you what would be easiest/would make my stay convenient for you because I'd be over the moon to be invited for a holiday.

When I stay with family and friends in the UK I coordinate with them on what groceries and/or meals I should do or help with because I'm not a leech