To think this is way too young to be thinking about sex

Too young for Y6 kids. I’d be concerned too.

I was at secondary school when More magazine was in its heyday and we all discussed the position of the fortnight (if only to laugh at names like reverse cowgirl and the wheelbarrow).

In any case, surely boys and girls of that age should know the facts.Their questions should be answered truthfully. Sex is a normal part of everyday life yet it can cause immense distress. Discussion should be encouraged.

Very young: people, be careful here ;)

Agree.

Yeah, same where I am. And we didn't have the internet. I'm surprised you're surprised, OP.

AIUI the tween boy sex chat seems to be much more similar to the infants boy fart chat in pattern and role, than to adult discussions of potential sexual activities.
As in, more crude innuendo and generally pissing themselves if anyone says "69", rather than "where are you buying your condoms from?". I suspect most would be terrified if a real peer indicated a desire to try any of it out with them.

My cousin was 12 when he lost his virginity 40 odd years ago, far too young but it happens.

But the thing is, 12-year-olds don’t actually need access to porn to be interested in sex.

A large proportion of 12-year-olds have always been interested in sex, long before porn became so accessible. They’re hitting puberty and their hormones are raging. It’s normal. Some might be interested earlier, some later - but 11/12 year olds thinking about sex is not unusual or unhealthy.

This.

why are you allowing a young child to have a pseudo romantic “relationship”?? Do you have any idea how inappropriate that is??

Err, yes, way way way too young. Why are YOU, the MOTHER, allowing your 11 year old a girlfriend, first of all? And why do you not speak to your son about the inappropriateness of talking about sex with people, especially at 11 years old? You need to put an end to this nonsense.

11-12 is a perfectly normal age to be thinking about sex. He’s on the cusp of puberty. Of course he’s going to be thinking about sex.

I’d started my periods by the age of 11. I’m pretty sure I was thinking about sex quite a lot. Plenty of boys will be having wet dreams and lots of boys and girls will be masturbating at that age. It’s completely normal.

I think I was about his age when I first saw the Angus thongs and perfect snogging movie after speeding through the books, and at the time I thought it was about on par if not slightly over exaggerated with what conversations were like within my peer group. We all felt like little grown ups.

I re-watched it recently out of boredom and it made me clutch my pearls I have never been so mortified that children so young have content aimed at them about kissing and sex and intimacy.

So in short, yes I reckon it's normal for kids to be talking about it, it's a "taboo" topic so it's only going to make them want to talk about it more, but I'm with you OP. It feels far too young, but it's not new by any means.

My DS was similarly obsessed at around 11/12, he was fascinated and had so many questions. But it was more in a wow this is weird way than actually about wanting to do it himself. At 15 he’s much more chilled about it, I know there is still lots of chat and nonsense talked at school but I think that’s completely normal.

Tweens ‘picking up a racy book at the library’ is the funniest thing I’ve read on MN. Google ‘porn’ and see how many clicks it takes to see graphic, violent porn, with zero age checks or payment. . We were utterly stunned. And the kids are watching every page obsessively. They see more extreme sex before they’re 11 than we did in a lifetime.

This. Does he have a phone? Do you have good control of it if so? Apparently the average age to see porn for the first time is now 12 or something outrageous like that.

If he’s hanging out with slightly older kids I’d be mainly concerned that he’s been exposed to porn. Exposure to this is getting younger and younger thanks to social media! Even if you keep your own child away from it, it’s everywhere with their peers.

So he’s end of year 6?

I think it probably depends on the tone of the sex conversations. A conversation can be about sex but still be very innocent - I remember in year 6 a group of us couldn’t decide if a “virgin” was someone who had had sex, or someone who hadn’t. I was passionately arguing my position that virgin must mean someone who had had sex, because the Virgin Mary had a baby, and therefore had obviously had sex. That conversation came from curiosity and interest in sex, but I don’t think anyone listening would have been concerned (apart from maybe about my poor grasp of the story of Jesus).

I was going to say the same thing i knew what sex was before i was ten.
I also new right from wrong with consent.
I think in todays days parents try to keep to much from kids.

I mean, I had my first snog at 11, and we knew about sex and had crushes etc. I think it’s quite normal at that age to start becoming sexually aware. I liked the idea of it but was never ready to actually have sex and didn’t actually lose my virginity until I was 17.

I don’t think it’s always a cause for an alarm, it depends what they are saying really, are they planning sex? You need to perhaps have a gentle word with him. Does he seem comfortable talking about it or awkward? Is he young or older for his age?

Having said all that, I think, in general, girls mature slightly faster than boys when it comes to puberty etc. This is your cue for a birds and bees chat with him.

Me and my friends talked about sex a lot at that age. Not in the way we wanted to do it, more just that we were curious, found it funny etc. I remember hearing about stuff like fingering at that age and finding it funny 🙈 And asking my friend's mum what a blow job is, lol. There were all kinds of wild rumours about people having threesomes, people losing their virginity etc. I don't for one second think any of it was true, but at the time you find it hilarious. Secondary school children in Y7 are about to hit puberty and it's that crossover of sex being funny/to you actually developing hormones and exploring your body yourself/wanting a boyfriend etc.

Just continue to keep open communication with him. Kids do get girlfriends at that age. I remember people just eating their lunch together and holding hands, and that was it really.

I would say it’s quite normal (they’re big boys in secondary school now) but in a way that they’re not actually planning on having sex, more know it’s a bit naughty/taboo and so want to talk about it more.

I always remember being asked in primary school whether I was a virgin and I said no (not knowing what it meant) and everyone went round saying I had sex and how gross it was.
It only lasted a day but we were obviously talking about it in primary school too.

Boys who think they’re grown up/trying to act grown up will talk about things they think make them sound grown up, like sex.

The girlfriend situation is normal too but obviously just have rules like no doors closed etc just in case.

Thinking about having it, or just thinking about it? We were taught about it at the end of primary school.

We talked of little else at 11/12, back in the 80s. It was a new, mysterious, slightly scary grown-up thing, and our hormones were flying.

I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 18, though. So long as it’s just talk, I think it’s normal.

I definitely remember sex being a big topic in year 7 so I'd say it's normal to be talking about it with his friends because the older ones will be talking about it with their even older friends and siblings.

Just make sure he's aware of the facts and that no matter what people are.l saying, it doesn't make it true.

Jay from the Inbetweeners comes to mind.

Unfortunately op 1 in 10 uk children have been exposed to pornography by the age of 9 now and a quarter of them by age 11. So while yes of course it's too young in theory, it's not in the world we now live in and the changes with technology.

I think if you're not addressing these things with your kids earlier than we would ever have thought to before you're now leaving them at a bit of a disadvantage even though the intention is to protect innocence which is also important. It's a very hard balance for parents to find now.

I think you need to help your child navigate their own thoughts on these topics now so he's not being led by other children who may have been influenced by less appropriate sources of information.