To think this is way too young to be thinking about sex

According to semi-autobiographical books of N.Mitford, 11-year old aristocratic GIRLS talked about sex all the time even in 1920s.

We were all fascinated by sex from the age of ten onwards, I’m sorry to say. And this was before the days of the internet. I was well into puberty by then, so I grew up faster than some of my classmates. But I absolutely remember sex being a big topic of conversation in year 6 or 7 onwards. It didn’t mean we were anywhere near ready to do it, but we were all very curious about it.

Of course they are on the cusp of puberty at 11. The average age is 11 for girls and 12 for boys. This means that some will be even younger. When do you think puberty happens?

I think this is about parents not wanting to let go of their little girls/boys. I’m sorry, but if you think 11/12 is abnormal for being curious about sex and having sexual thoughts, you’re deluded. It’s the start of puberty and is NORMAL. Your kids are growing up and the sooner you accept that and talk to them about their bodies, the better.

Burying heads does no good, neither does shouting or coming across overly controlling. Surely you all remember being that age before? Unless you were slow developers 😃

The girlfriend ship has sailed.

He has one already.

I'm sorry but DS was done and dusted with puberty at 12. He was early in that regard, but he was his full adult height and weighed about 11 stone. He certainly certainly didn't think of himself as child, but lucky for him, I tried to, against all the physical evidence to the contrary. He also had a girl friend and although they didn't have sex because of constant policing, they definitely would have liked to.
He did make the most of his education too. It is possible to have more than one interest!
Much easier for all I guess if puberty is later but you can only start from where you are.

https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-65534354

This report was published in May 2023. Children as young as 8 were exposed to pornography.
2 years on a similar report might find 6 year olds exposed.

Agree.

Do these boys have no hobbies or extra curricular activities?

When is the last time you looked through your DS' phone to see what he's absorbing from the internet?

Teen Dd had a general anaesthetic, (a planned minor op) and I was told that all girls/women age 13 or older have to take a pregnancy test beforehand. I was a bit taken a back and pearl clutchy, but it must be a frequent enough issue for that to be a required precaution. Yes it feels very young but since children clearly are talking about sex (and having sex) we owe it to them to give them the knowledge and language to make good decisions about their bodies.

When I was 11 me and my friends gossiped a lot about sex. We weren’t really sure what it was and it was exciting when we found something out. Didn’t mean we were close to having sex. Also it definitely is puberty. I had my period at 10 and definitely had … urges with aren’t abnormal - lots of young teens masturbate and providing no porn I think that’s normal and part of self discovery. I didn’t have sex until 18 so to all the posters talking about teen pregnancy maybe get a grip. It’s natural curiosity

I was definitely on the cusp of puberty at 11. When on earth do you think puberty begins?

And I was another thinking about sex quite a bit. I only found out about it at 10 and was in equal parts both repelled and fascinated.

Wouldn't have been allowed a boyfriend at that age, mind you.

It really depends how they are talking about sex. Sniggering about the number 69 and Master Bates in Oliver Twist is very different to talking about porn and what they have seen/want to do to girls.

It looks to me that the OP is likely to become a grandparent sooner than she thinks. It may not even be a teenage pregnancy because they’ve not even reached that age as yet. Disgusting. I would be embarrassed to even mention this to anyone to be honest. What has this world become 😢

Having been an 11 year old boy in the 90s, sex was probably the topic of a good 50% of all conversations. We we confidently incorrect about what it actually involved most of the time, but it seemed very important to seem like you knew for some reason.

Exactly. I'm so shocked at the posters that say it's "very normal" and are really casual and unbothered about an 11 year old having a girlfriend and talking to his 11 year old friends about sex. You are not "at the cusp of puberty" at 11, stop robbing kids of their childhood!

There’s no way on this earth would I condone my 11 year old child to have a girlfriend. The child has only just started secondary school. Education is what he should be thinking about. This isn’t normal, why are we not allowing our children to be children anymore.

You are the parent. Limit the time spent with these children.

My son is a similar age to yours - I can’t say I really like his friendship group in school; so out of it, there is limited contact. His weekends are filled with clubs and activities so he still socialises and has a life away from school.

How do you hear them chatting?

I would also have no issue telling him he’s far too young to have a girlfriend.

It’s mostly talk but unfortunately the more mature for age youngsters are introducing it to those who otherwise wouldn’t be interested yet. I say mostly because we had a girl in my class get pregnant at 12! It happens when parents don’t supervise their dc (no internet then either)

Yes this is totally normal, totally when it starts.

Think back. I certainly remember thinking about boys and wanting a bf when I was 12. Well, they have lots more access to this subject, and this probably results in more young relationships.

It absolutely will. But of course a bad parent will think it won't, because they don't do any actual parenting, and it's normal in their world to allow their 11 year old kids to set the rules in the house.

It's normal to be talking about sex and asking questions, rather than everything going on underground and the wrong information being circulated.

Answer the questions, and they stop asking until they need more information.

My nearly 13 year old is aware of sex, but any conversations I hear between he and his friends and what I can see on his phone - (I do check it occasionally) are about games and bike riding mostly. It's certainly natural to be curious and with hormones flying everywhere it's likely something they're thinking about. I guess all you can do is ensure they know about safe sex and keep up an open dialogue. My eldest two didn't seem bothered until 6th form. I do have majorly geeky, gaming boys though, which possibly does help (which I'm very thankful for!). I've just kept discussions open and made sure they're aware of anything they need to know. 11 does seem very young... But from what I've seen/heard from others doesn't seem to be unusual.

What are you doing to be the parent, other than posting on the Internet about children talking about sex?

Yes, that will work 🙄

When I was 11, a very long time ago, we passed sexually suggestive notes around the class when the teacher was reading us stories. I didn't embark on my sex life soon after, though that may have been partly down to the fact I went to a girls school for secondary and knew no boys other than my younger brother and his friends.

It's normal to be curious / interested at that age. Doesn't mean he'll soon have a girl friend necessarily.