Page 7 | DH embarrassing himself on local Facebook page

GiraffePoster · 2025-05-08T15:16:53+00:00

I’ve been alerted by several people who know me about posts my DH has made on our town’s local community page and underneath articles posted on the newspapers Facebook page. These are varying level of inappropriate/offensive depending on your views on certain topics. Some are outright rude. Immigration, migrant hotels etc He appears to have only just started doing this in the past couple of weeks. I’ve confronted him and he has admitted it and basically said he’s just having a laugh and winding people up who take things too seriously. I have asked him to stop this as it is embarrassing for me and we also have young DC who people will know. He has said it’s his social media and I can’t control this, and that Facebook will delete his account if they feel what he’s posting is wrong, and they haven’t taken anything down. Am I being controlling to suggest he should delete his account? The damage is done to an extent, but I want to save further embarrassment.

EdisinBurgh · 08/05/2025 16:50

He is causing reputational damage to you and your children.

His rude, adversarial and possibly racist posts on social media will directly impact your reputations locally.

Just as it would if he was saying the same things through a loudspeaker in the town square.

He has to take this seriously and stop it. If he can’t or won’t, suggest you consider your marriage. It could get even worse.

PullTheBricksDown · 08/05/2025 16:49

KnittyNell · 08/05/2025 16:36

I don’t know what he actually posted obviously but is it not possible to make comments about not wanting anymore people adding to our island’s overcrowding problem without being labelled as racist or xenophobic?

Well, that would be making an assumption that anyone moving into new homes in the area is coming from outside the UK, and is undesirable. People can judge from that what you're conveying about the area you live in, and about yourself.

Futurehappiness · 08/05/2025 16:48

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:24

There was another article uploaded and obviously you could only see the headline and photo. It was basically a middle aged woman who was unhappy with roadworks or something.

DH commented ‘I bet she’s single’ not realising the article said she’s recently widowed…

Your husband is an ignorant oaf.

SalmonDreams · 08/05/2025 16:48

Calafragic · 08/05/2025 16:43

Freedom of speech means not going to prison for stating your opinion, not being free from all social consequences of saying nasty hateful things (like people thinking you're a dick, your wife being embarrassed by you, people not wanting their children to befriend your children at school).

I don't actually think 'winding people up' makes it any better. It's not just winding people up, is it? It's being horrible, purposely upsetting people and making minorities feel less safe. Racist comments breed racist comments and normalise it. It's the kind of thing people scroll through with a knot in their stomach and go to bed a tiny bit more worried than the night before about the safety of them and their children and how welcome they are in the place they live.

I am quite alarmed by people who enjoy causing upset to others for no reason. At least the racists actually believe what they say and believe that what they wish for would genuinely improve things for them and their families. He doesn't even have that. He just wants to cause others to be less happy. Genuinely, gun to my head, I'd pick the racist.

Thank you. That's totally how I feel, including going to bed a bit more worried than the night before after reading yet again another remark like that.

Noshadelamp · 08/05/2025 16:46

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:21

I don’t believe him to be racist. But any time something is posted on the paper about new houses, developments etc he will reply ‘that’ll be for the new arrivals’ or something similar to that

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He's either racist or he's not racist, and the problem with posts like his is that it gives licence to actual outspoken racists. I can't imagine why anyone who isn't racist would want to do that?

Donttellempike · 08/05/2025 16:46

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:21

I don’t believe him to be racist. But any time something is posted on the paper about new houses, developments etc he will reply ‘that’ll be for the new arrivals’ or something similar to that

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Yes that’s hilarious😳

and racist.

Pamspeople · 08/05/2025 16:45

Have you told him how incredibly unattractive this makes him?

mindutopia · 08/05/2025 16:45

I mean, surely if he’s self employed, this is a really good reason not to do this. Everyone knows the racist knobheads on the town Facebook group. If someone recommended a guy to me to do a job, I would definitely recognise the name and put two and two together, and go with someone else.

That said, it’s not even about it being on Facebook. I couldn’t be married to someone who was this much of a raging knobhead, end of. He sounds 14.

Iwanttoliveonamountain · 08/05/2025 16:45

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:24

There was another article uploaded and obviously you could only see the headline and photo. It was basically a middle aged woman who was unhappy with roadworks or something.

DH commented ‘I bet she’s single’ not realising the article said she’s recently widowed…

That one is personal. Get him to take it down. If he won’t - you’ve got another decision to make

SalmonDreams · 08/05/2025 16:44

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:21

I don’t believe him to be racist. But any time something is posted on the paper about new houses, developments etc he will reply ‘that’ll be for the new arrivals’ or something similar to that

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Lovely. Words matter. Especially on a public forum. Every time he posts something inflammatory like that he is normalising and encouraging racism irrespective of whether he himself holds racist views or not. Some people (like me and my kids) are directly affected by racism so I don't think it's very funny.

ArtTheClown · 08/05/2025 16:44

I'd be so embarrassed if DH did something like this.

Futurehappiness · 08/05/2025 16:44

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:22

Yes I’ve told him that too. He uses his middle name rather than his surname on there but obviously people we know recognise him from his photo. His argument is that employers won’t be able to find him, plus he’s self employed currently anyway

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Some of his clients may well drop him if they get to find out about this.

Calafragic · 08/05/2025 16:43

Freedom of speech means not going to prison for stating your opinion, not being free from all social consequences of saying nasty hateful things (like people thinking you're a dick, your wife being embarrassed by you, people not wanting their children to befriend your children at school).

I don't actually think 'winding people up' makes it any better. It's not just winding people up, is it? It's being horrible, purposely upsetting people and making minorities feel less safe. Racist comments breed racist comments and normalise it. It's the kind of thing people scroll through with a knot in their stomach and go to bed a tiny bit more worried than the night before about the safety of them and their children and how welcome they are in the place they live.

I am quite alarmed by people who enjoy causing upset to others for no reason. At least the racists actually believe what they say and believe that what they wish for would genuinely improve things for them and their families. He doesn't even have that. He just wants to cause others to be less happy. Genuinely, gun to my head, I'd pick the racist.

Dweetfidilove · 08/05/2025 16:43

He sounds like a prat in my local FB page. Prattles on about new arrivals even though we know all the properties being bought around here are by private developers building luxury townhouses etc.
Everyone thinks he's an ass, but he seems to enjoy being so.

AreYouBrandNew · 08/05/2025 16:43

Your digital foot print is much more permanent and traceable than you think. This could affect you/your kids and wider family in the future. Keep challenging him to remove it/stop. Or join a proper anonymous forum like this one!

Pamspeople · 08/05/2025 16:42

He's not just embarrassing himself though, he's embarrassing his wife and kids. I honestly couldn't bear to be with someone who did this, and his response to you is equally immature. Is it completely out of character or is he generally like an offensive 13 year old? Is this a deal breaker?

menopausalfart · 08/05/2025 16:42

He sounds gross.

KnittyNell · 08/05/2025 16:41

BingoWingoForties · 08/05/2025 16:39

Go do some googling. We’ll wait.

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Perhaps I should consult the Guardian instead, isn’t that where ostriches usually bury their heads?

Futurehappiness · 08/05/2025 16:41

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:21

I don’t believe him to be racist. But any time something is posted on the paper about new houses, developments etc he will reply ‘that’ll be for the new arrivals’ or something similar to that

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Well, er, that's racist.

S0j0urn4r · 08/05/2025 16:39

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:24

There was another article uploaded and obviously you could only see the headline and photo. It was basically a middle aged woman who was unhappy with roadworks or something.

DH commented ‘I bet she’s single’ not realising the article said she’s recently widowed…

Are you married to Gregg Wallace?

blubbyblub · 08/05/2025 16:39

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:24

There was another article uploaded and obviously you could only see the headline and photo. It was basically a middle aged woman who was unhappy with roadworks or something.

DH commented ‘I bet she’s single’ not realising the article said she’s recently widowed…

This is awful. You’d think he would have felt so bad he learned his lesson

BingoWingoForties · 08/05/2025 16:39

KnittyNell · 08/05/2025 16:38

Of course not! 😂

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Go do some googling. We’ll wait.

KnittyNell · 08/05/2025 16:39

Butchyrestingface · 08/05/2025 16:38

On the bright side, if he keeps this up, he might find his collar getting felt by the long arm of the law for incitement, like others before him.

OP could go to court and plead for an extended, custodial sentence.

You don’t even know what’s he posted ffs!!

KnittyNell · 08/05/2025 16:38

BingoWingoForties · 08/05/2025 16:37

No because it simply isn’t true 🤷‍♀️

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Of course not! 😂

KnittyNell · 08/05/2025 16:38

YesHonestly · 08/05/2025 16:36

We’re not overcrowded.

HTH.

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Rubbish!! 😂