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Original poster

DH embarrassing himself on local Facebook page

216 replies

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:16

I’ve been alerted by several people who know me about posts my DH has made on our town’s local community page and underneath articles posted on the newspapers Facebook page.

These are varying level of inappropriate/offensive depending on your views on certain topics. Some are outright rude. Immigration, migrant hotels etc

He appears to have only just started doing this in the past couple of weeks. I’ve confronted him and he has admitted it and basically said he’s just having a laugh and winding people up who take things too seriously.

I have asked him to stop this as it is embarrassing for me and we also have young DC who people will know.

He has said it’s his social media and I can’t control this, and that Facebook will delete his account if they feel what he’s posting is wrong, and they haven’t taken anything down.

Am I being controlling to suggest he should delete his account? The damage is done to an extent, but I want to save further embarrassment.

OP posts:
dovetail22uk · 08/05/2025 17:12

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 17:10

Yes I’m in the group, I’m far from an avid social media user but have been on there more often since my friends told me. He seemed to be toning it down but then started up again yesterday saying he thinks Farage should be the next PM which kicked off a big debate.

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I'm really sorry. When are you getting divorced?

wizzywig · 08/05/2025 17:10

Maybe he'll stop if it impacts on his work. I wouldn't give my money to a gammon like him

Original poster
GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 17:10

MushMonster · 08/05/2025 17:07

Right, I fully get you are upset and embarrassed and worried about any effect on the children. But, he is right that if his posts were so bad, they will be removed. So then it falls under his freedom of speach, thought and concience.
Are you in this group? You need to check what he is writing by yourself, not based on something told by someone else. What is offensive to them may very well not be to you. Sadly, the charge against migrants seems to be spreading like a fire, but many times reasonable comments here are marked as racist or biggoted. So really the same will happen in Facebook. You need to judge by yourself.

Yes I’m in the group, I’m far from an avid social media user but have been on there more often since my friends told me. He seemed to be toning it down but then started up again yesterday saying he thinks Farage should be the next PM which kicked off a big debate.

OP posts:
dovetail22uk · 08/05/2025 17:10

scorpiogirly · 08/05/2025 16:19

Depends what he's posting specifically but I'm all for freedom of speech.

Free speech and hate speech are not the same.

ItGhoul · 08/05/2025 17:09

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:21

I don’t believe him to be racist. But any time something is posted on the paper about new houses, developments etc he will reply ‘that’ll be for the new arrivals’ or something similar to that

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He is a racist, then. And also thick.

user1492757084 · 08/05/2025 17:09

Flag his opinions to the mods. Report evey time he posts anything offensive. The moderators will have to deal with it.

Radiatorvalves · 08/05/2025 17:09

ASimpleLampoon · 08/05/2025 17:03

My children are mixed race and I wouldn't want them mixing with kids whose parents hold racist views. This could affect your children and potential friendshi ps

I’m white (although my mother was an immigrant) and I wouldn’t want to associate with him nor would I want my kids to.

Serpentstooth · 08/05/2025 17:08

YANBU OP, you're married to a 🐖. There's a lot of them around. My sympathy.

Ilikeadrink14 · 08/05/2025 17:07

Motnight · 08/05/2025 17:06

Yes!

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What does ‘jump the shark’ mean? I wish people would talk normal English on here!

MushMonster · 08/05/2025 17:07

Right, I fully get you are upset and embarrassed and worried about any effect on the children. But, he is right that if his posts were so bad, they will be removed. So then it falls under his freedom of speach, thought and concience.
Are you in this group? You need to check what he is writing by yourself, not based on something told by someone else. What is offensive to them may very well not be to you. Sadly, the charge against migrants seems to be spreading like a fire, but many times reasonable comments here are marked as racist or biggoted. So really the same will happen in Facebook. You need to judge by yourself.

Jennifershuffles · 08/05/2025 17:06

Could you post under his post that you are his wife and are embarrassed by this bigoted idiocy and have stopped interacting with him at home.

Ilikeadrink14 · 08/05/2025 17:06

Hephebe · 08/05/2025 16:36

This must be a wind-up.

Why do people like you always come on here saying that posts must be a wind-up? Why do you think it’s a wind-up? That’s a pathetic comment!

Motnight · 08/05/2025 17:06

BrianaBlessed · 08/05/2025 16:36

You’ve jumped the shark with this one.

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Yes!

Delphiniumandlupins · 08/05/2025 17:04

You could report him to Facebook. They might not do anything, they might not do it immediately, but he might get put in fb 'jail' for a month or so. (You could ask sympathetic friends to report him as well.)
You could hide his posts or block him so you don't see what he's saying.
You can keep pointing out what a twat he looks.
You could try to get him interested in something/anything else so he spends less time online.

There are a few people like him (mostly men) in our local fb group and I am slightly encouraged that they might have nice partners like you.

wordywitch · 08/05/2025 17:03

YABU not to leave this horrible, racist prick. That you’re more worried about the embarrassment than his atrocious views speaks volumes.

ASimpleLampoon · 08/05/2025 17:03

My children are mixed race and I wouldn't want them mixing with kids whose parents hold racist views. This could affect your children and potential friendshi ps

frozendaisy · 08/05/2025 17:03

So you asked him, he said he can do what he wants.

It’s not just your H who thinks they are god’s gift and can judge women by appearance, or think they are intelligent by telling it like it is regarding immigration and other such complex issues. It’s a huge laugh to many.

So what are you going to do now OP? There is no magic bullet to get him to stop, in fact with the seemingly rise of the popularity of Reform it will get worse and become more emboldened and extreme.

Is he an equal partner at home?

Does he think you need to do all the domestic work, childcare and pay your way?
You could try and getting to stop by effectively withdrawing female labour, domestic and sexual, if he thinks so little of women, see how far he gets without them?

MyZippyLemonBiscuit · 08/05/2025 17:02

Don’t see the issue with the things he’s posting tbh, distasteful at best

Theunamedcat · 08/05/2025 17:02

Are you linked on Facebook? I would be unlinking changing my surname and my marital status basically signalling to everyone he is fuck all to do with me

Bumblebeestiltskin · 08/05/2025 17:01

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:21

I don’t believe him to be racist. But any time something is posted on the paper about new houses, developments etc he will reply ‘that’ll be for the new arrivals’ or something similar to that

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So he's an ignorant racist then. Your kids have got more problems than him embarrassing them on social media.

DadJoke · 08/05/2025 16:59

He's either a racist arsehole, or someone pretending to be a racist arsehole to upset people. Let him read this thread.

DoYouReally · 08/05/2025 16:59

Were you under duress or consust when you married this man?

This is who he is but it's almost like you are OK with his attitudes, immaturity and bigotry once others aren't aware of it.

Hoppinggreen · 08/05/2025 16:58

Futurehappiness · 08/05/2025 16:44

Some of his clients may well drop him if they get to find out about this.

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If I saw comments like this on a local FB group and I needed whatever service your SE husband provides I would sure as Hell not ask him to do the work
As a SE person (I am too) you have to be extra careful as these things can affect your Business

Icexream · 08/05/2025 16:56

GiraffePoster · 08/05/2025 16:24

There was another article uploaded and obviously you could only see the headline and photo. It was basically a middle aged woman who was unhappy with roadworks or something.

DH commented ‘I bet she’s single’ not realising the article said she’s recently widowed…

Just generally nasty then.

No you can't tell him what to think or say, you can only control your response.

AnotherSadness · 08/05/2025 16:54

The social media is not the main issue here. You are married to someone who has offensive views that do not align with your own. That is what I would be running a mile away from. Hideously unattractive.

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