DH embarrassing himself on local Facebook page

What we're the remarks? I can't imagine someone coming in to your home and saying I hate immigrants or such like. I don't know how that conversation would come up when he's getting his paintbrush out.

Why are you making this about you? And yes it is controlling

Sure people will dress it up how they want because women are never thought of as controlling on here there is always some other excuse

But if that is who he really is then you dont have to stay with him but if a man tried to tell a woman what to do on here all hell would break loose

Most people know that racist and mysogynistic comments aren't funny. These are being read by your friends, family, neighbours. Your children's teachers. If I was your neighbour I'd be ignoring your husband, also you, because I'd assume if he's a racist, so are you.

This would be the end of the relationship for me. I would not want to be associated with, or spend time with, a racist. It's obviously not new though, you don't suddenly become a bigot.

How embarrassing for your children.

He'll be out of a job if it's reported to his employer.

This would be a massive turn off for me , thankfully my husband and I are very aligned when it comes to views on immigration but if not I would absolutely ask him to stop and explain he looks like a grade A cock. This has spiked around the recent local election and it seems like he has got carried away but mud sticks. Remind him that employers and family can see his social media easily too - not a good look

I dumped a hairdresser because she started up with "They come over 'ere..." etc etc when I was sitting helpless in the chair.

Recruiters do in a huge way I believe.
It is the job of junior recruiters to thoroughly investigate the SM of every candidate they put forward.
Hence why I told my children keep your SM on very tight lockdown.

There was a decorator I would never use again on the basis of remarks he made in my house.

Maybe @KnittyNell is OP’s husband.

So your husband is - at best - a troll, at worst a racist. You poor thing. Don’t listen for one minute to him saying “he’s just having a laugh and winding people up who take things too seriously”, that’s just a flimsy excuse because he knows you won’t accept it if he just says “yeah I like being nasty about women and immigrants online”.

He sounds thick, ignorant and unpleasant. I presume he's always had views like this, even if he didn't post them on FB. How can you stand to be married to such a knuckle-dragger?

I had a kitchen fitter booked to come and give me a quote but told him not to come after I saw some of his views on FB.
I won't have racists in my house. Of course it could be said that I probably have and don't know but once I do know its not happening

He can post what he wants, but I wouldn’t stay around to be associated with him.

I was in a black cab years ago and the driver started making racist remarks. I politely asked him to stop and cut the journey short. I didn’t confront him; I wonder if he even knew. I was just not comfortable giving him any more of my money.

This is true - but once I knew, I'd never have them in the house. I've absolutely ditched quotes from tradesman and refused to buy from salesmen who seem sexist or dodgy in person so SM is just an additional source of information.

Ouch, I’m cringing 😬

So what would you do before social media? Give people a grilling before they come in about their views? You just wouldn't know and wouldn't care, you'd care about the quality of the job and the price.

Well, it appears that at best you’re married to a tedious wide-up merchant with too much time on his hands. At worst, you’re married to an absolute moron, and possible closet racist.

It doesn’t matter if you think it's racist or tie yourself in knots to define it some other way. The OP doesn't like it and it would certainly be a deal breaker for me. I couldn't live with someone who made that kind of comment.

LTB

100% this

Much of the thread is goady dog-whistles. "But wheeeeerrrrreee does it say the OP's H is being racist?".

Oh God, I know someone who used to do this 🙄. He is a bit of a weird one who claims to be ultra left wing and just on things like the daily express forums (where he expresses some pretty problematic and right leaning/anti immigration type views) "to mess with [troll] right wingers". I don't know what people get out of doing this, but it is definitely a bit unhealthy and extremely off putting. I did tell him he was an Internet troll and he needed a better hobby

Make clear you won’t put up with him embarrassing you and the kids with his racist comments and the one about the recently widowed lady…awful!

you need to decide your boundaries but I wouldn’t be with someone who did this. You will be presumed to have the same views.

also he may be self employed but I wouldn’t hire him, I check the e Facebook of traders I use

Next time he does it you should reply to his comment with some thing like 'FFS you told me you only comment for reaction, grow up idiot' and see if that gets through to him.