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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I a neglectful parent for this?

156 replies

dil8 · 08/05/2025 15:40

I have a 2yo daughter and heavily pregnant with our 2nd, suffering with awful sciatica and SPD which I attend physio for.

DH runs his business and is usually out 7am-6pm.

Once or twice a week, the pain gets too much and by 2pm I go and lay in the bath. For context, we live in a new build flat, the bathroom is opposite DD’s bedroom and next to the office/utility room and 2 doors away from the open plan living room/kitchen.

I go around and close any open windows, all cupboards in the kitchen and the oven have safety catches/locks on them. Shut my bedroom door. She can literally either sit on the sofas, play with toys or go into her bedroom and play with toys in there. Our front door is locks automatically but I put the bolt on too.

I leave the bathroom door open and she goes between coming into the bathroom with me and playing with bath toys in my bath water and playing/chatting to the living room or her bedroom. Medicines are stored up in a locked medical box on top of a tall unit in the office/utility.

I put Ms Rachel or Peppa Pig on, fill her water bottle and soak in the bath for 30 minutes.

Somehow it came up in convo with MIL about how I’m struggling with my back and only thing that eases it is a bath so sometimes I have one in the middle of the day (normally if we’ve had a busy morning at the park or gone for a walk or met with friends at soft play).

She text DH last night to say it’s neglectful and anything could happen to DD and I’ve never had my parenting questioned so this has naturally upset me, hormones are probably not helping.

DH messaged her back telling her that I am and always have been an excellent mum and he won’t have my choices questioned by her and she read it and didn’t respond.

So, I’ve come to Mumsnet to ask if AIBU for doing this or do people think there is no harm in it? Im
now questioning myself.

OP posts:
AlrightTrouble · 08/05/2025 15:48

I think that’s fine. It’s all on one level and she can come see you if she needs to. I am a notoriously slack mum though, so my margins will almost certainly vary to someone else’s.

Coffeeishot · 08/05/2025 15:47

It's absolutely fine you are literally there with your toddler, your mother in law needs to mind her own, and good for your husband for sticking up for you.

PansyPottering · 08/05/2025 15:47

I know for a fact that I did this. And I know because I remember I was so massive that I was practically stuck in the bath and I remember thinking ‘can a three year old pull me out of this bath?’

Mrsphilmiller · 08/05/2025 15:46

She’s exaggerating and being bonkers
of course it’s fine!

UpUpUpU · 08/05/2025 15:45

If you are happy the environment is safe then ignore MIL.

KenIsAnAccessory · 08/05/2025 15:44

It's fine. MIL needs to butt out. Good on DH for having your back

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