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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think I'm being punished for being happy

37 replies

Bighouseinthecountry25 · 08/05/2025 14:08

Last month dh and I paid off our mortgage and I thought we were in a good place.
Since then someone has crashed into both of our cars and I'm being blamed for the man driving into me. I'm at risk of redundancy. We don't have a car between us that can fit my ds wheelchair so everything is a hassle.
Am I being punished by the world for being too big for my boots? Is this reverse karma?

OP posts:
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Original poster
Bighouseinthecountry25 · 09/05/2025 13:28

Thank you for all the replies, lots to think about.

OP posts:
Augustus40 · 09/05/2025 09:38

My mum never believed in too much good luck. She would believe she now must pay for it by accepting that bad luck follows good luck.

Life is very random with very little deep and meaningful experiences attached in my personal view.

JewelInTheTiara · 08/05/2025 22:48

You could flip it and think all this financial woes came after you paid the mortgage and hopefully should be able to handle it.
so many people move on to better things after being made redundant and having a good payout.
Dont worry yet.

Communitywebbing · 08/05/2025 22:44

No it’s the other way round. You paid off your mortgage to cheer you up about the cars.

DoYouReally · 08/05/2025 19:45

It's unfortunate but relatively positive in lots of ways:

  • you both were involved in car accidents and haven't been injured - that's the most important thing
  • you are facing redundancy at possibly the best time given you have no mortgage repayments - that gives you breathing room and less pressure
halfpastten · 08/05/2025 18:52

You've paid off the mortgage!!!

librathroughandthrough · 08/05/2025 18:49

Who do you think is keeping track of who is due what karma?

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 08/05/2025 18:47

my ds wheelchair

I don't want to be patronising or nasty, but surely that's a lot more bad luck than a lot of people will ever experience?

Being happy about your mortgage is nowhere near something you should feel guilty about - or think you somehow don't deserve to be happy!

RobertaFirmino · 08/05/2025 18:42

You will never be homeless. OK, there might be plenty of beans on toast nights ahead of you but you won't starve and you will always have a roof over your head. I hope resolution is quick and that you are spared redundancy. All the best.

SwanOfThoseThings · 08/05/2025 18:36

You'd be in a worse position if this had happened while you still had your mortgage to worry about, so in a sense, the timing is quite fortunate.

Berryslacks · 08/05/2025 18:32

KurtShirty · 08/05/2025 15:11

Single mum with sen teen, Debt and aggressive cancer here. Meant with kindness- Yabu

Edited

So sorry you are going through all that Shirty💐

B1indEye · 08/05/2025 18:31

How would the world organise punishments? Dont be daft, it's just the way things go

Berryslacks · 08/05/2025 18:28

@Bighouseinthecountry25 how was your childhood? The reason I ask is because I can be like you and it stems from my childhood. My parents were not unkind but anything that happened to you was always ‘your own fault’. My DH’s parents were the same. We often joke about it. The ‘too big for my boots’ also really resonates with me. It’s all a bit of a ‘pride before a fall’ attitude isn’t it? I recently had a similar conversation with my DH. I was feeling really happy that our house renovations were progressing well. Then I got ill and I am thinking is it something serious? All because I had dared be happy about my new home. It is totally irrational and unless it’s something you experience yourself not understandable to others. Ultimately we have to realise it’s all just coincidental. I hope things improve for you soon.

whitewineandsun · 08/05/2025 16:16

Why would bad karma hit you because you paid off your house? Karma doesn’t exist anyway.

Life is just being life. Ebbs and flows.

ItGhoul · 08/05/2025 16:12

Of course you're not being punished for being happy. Everyone has good things and bad things happen to them throughout their lives. The timing is just arbitrary.

I'm sorry you're having a shit time at the moment and it can be a bit overwhelming when several bad things happen to coincide. But I think the way to look at it is to remind yourselves that it's still better than dealing with redundancy and a car problem AND having a mortgage to pay every month - so in way, if it was going to happen it's better that it happened when you were financially better off.

Hope things get sorted with both your job and your car very soon.

Someone2025 · 08/05/2025 15:46

Bighouseinthecountry25 · 08/05/2025 14:08

Last month dh and I paid off our mortgage and I thought we were in a good place.
Since then someone has crashed into both of our cars and I'm being blamed for the man driving into me. I'm at risk of redundancy. We don't have a car between us that can fit my ds wheelchair so everything is a hassle.
Am I being punished by the world for being too big for my boots? Is this reverse karma?

Just keep focusing on the fact that ….you have paid off your mortgage! 👏

CarmellaSopranosKitchen · 08/05/2025 15:33

No. Sometimes bad things happen. Well done on paying off your mortgage.

Augustus40 · 08/05/2025 15:28

I believe in karma but not about everything. Shit happens. Life is mainly a series of random occurrences.

ThatCyanCat · 08/05/2025 15:19

Of course not, you're just having some bad luck., an up and a down. Sorry to hear it and remember that this too shall pass.

20YearsOuttaPractice · 08/05/2025 15:18

Are one of the cars on motability? If so can they not sort you out another WAV whilst yours is being repaired?

KurtShirty · 08/05/2025 15:11

Single mum with sen teen, Debt and aggressive cancer here. Meant with kindness- Yabu

Icexream · 08/05/2025 15:00

Life has ups and downs. You've had some ups and now a few downs, but nothing terrible when you're in a position of financial security, as you are.

Mostly happiness, through averagely normal adversity, is about attitude IMO.

MeltonInTheHeat · 08/05/2025 14:56

ComtesseDeSpair · 08/05/2025 14:27

Things just happen. You pick up the pieces, and think about the resilient basis you have to deal with them. If there’s no proof you were the cause of the car accident, that’s what your insurer will find, and it will be a hassle but solvable. And perhaps with the proceeds of the claim, you can buy a new car more suited to your DS’s needs.

If there really was such a thing as karma or “the universe”, then surely they’ve got bigger fish to fry, dishing out good luck and remedies for people in war zones and famines, or to murderers, than ordinary people who’ve made their final mortgage payment and are happy about it?

Edited

Yes this.

My maternal grandmother used to say whenever something nice happened; Don't enjoy it too much, it won't last'. She was quite a bitter joy--sucking person really. My mother has spent all her 75 years thinking she's not permitted to have any pleasure because karma will get her.

Don't be like that. Swings and roundabouts and all that! Enjoy the good. Deal with the bad.

Jk987 · 08/05/2025 14:55

It would only be karma if you’ve done something bad. Paying off your mortgage is not bad.

HideousKinky · 08/05/2025 14:53

No you're not being punished.
You've just been unlucky

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