Unfair to defer summer borns

What is the problem with your child being the youngest?

It's not an issue having a year gap between oldest and youngest, the issue is age and readiness at school entry.

I agree with you. It is an advantage for some children and a disadvantage for others. Of course, the parents who get an advantage out of it will always argue that it’s fair, but when it includes children from April onwards, it really isn’t fair.

Making case by case assessments for August born children whose nurseries have highlighted a need would be fair. Allowing it for children born earlier as long as their parents know how to make a fuss is not a good way to run an admissions system.

People will do what works best for their child and rightly so, I'm not in England so no way would I send a just turned four year old to school. Mine was only in her first year of preschool at that stage. The issue you have OP is the fact that your child has been injured by another child several times . If it's being done deliberately then that's not normal behavior. Accidents happen and at that age children are naturally a bit hyper and bang into each other and bumps and falls are totally normal

My daughter was born on the 22nd of August, and due to health problems that slowed her development even further we deferred her. She was still sleeping 2 hours per day at the time she was supposed to be starting reception, and did until she had an operation.

She's absolutely fine now and recovered but has stayed out-of-year. She is 12 days older than the second-oldest child in her class. 12 days! If you think 12 days is giving her an almighty edge over the youngest in her class, I don't know what to say.

Oh and ask Scottish primary one teachers about deferrals, I’ve yet to meet one who doesn’t think it’s a good idea. I have three primary teachers in the family and they are all big proponents of deferring till kids are 5.

Also I hate the sentiment that only people that are unhappy with their own choices/lives or whatever are worried about other people's choices. This is blatantly quite manipulative and complete BS. If the system is broken then people should be able to point this out without being told that they can only have an opinion on their own choices.

That’s crazy! I wonder if it’s more common in some areas than others - it doesn’t really happen at all where I am - my son is a late July birthday and is very definitely not the only summer-born in his class or year. I’m not aware of any deferrals.

I’m in Scotland where deferral to primary one is commonplace in a way it doesn’t seem to be in England. The earliest a child starts is 4.5 anyway without deferral, but Jan, Feb born kids (and now I believe any kids not 5 by school start date) can go the next year at 5.5 instead and get an extra year of nursery funding and it’s very usual. I deferred DD1 who is Feb born, most of her peers in same bracket were also deferred. But MN has a huge English majority population and it doesn’t seem to be common or well understood in England, or well
implemented dare I say.

I do kind of think that with all the data showing the numerous disadvantages of being summer born, they should really change intake dates anyway as personally I wouldn’t want my newly turned 4 child going to school in the first place, regardless of how ‘academic’ they were.

I am June born and probably ADHD. I think I would have benefitted from being deferred.

If another child keeps hurting your child that needs to be addressed with the school. Their age/ size is irrelevant. Lots of kids learn in mixed age classes.

I have a summer born child I'm not deferring as it doesn't work for us as a family. Other people make other decisions about what is right for their individual situation and their child and that's fine. In the end school isn't a competition and most Sumner born kids catch up by ks2 as the age difference is less of an issue.

Why "should" you? My eldest son was summer born, started school at 4 years & 4 months & went on to take A levels & go to university. Makes no odds. My other 2 children who started school at a later age did not do so well academically.

I have an August born too and think YANBU OP and those people trying to swizz the system now are being extremely short-sighted if their child gets to sixth form, needs an extra year, and can't have it because it's done by age at that end, not year group. It's not always the lowest ability ones who need that extra year to redo A-levels or to start a course, change their mind, and get a do-over. Not to mention sports teams and some other groups like National Youth Theatre all work by age. Railcards are by age. I'd rather my child was younger and got all the advantages of being younger and having more time to sort herself out when she gets older. I think it shouldn't be an option TBH but it's a very popular choice on MN so you're probably going to get pasted for saying it (and me too by agreeing). 🙄

I tend to agree. I have a late August born and she went with her usual intake. I have a friend who deferred her son purely so he has an advantage over the other children which seems bonkers to me. I think it’s fair enough for a child with additional needs but for some families it’s just to get an advantage.

I agree with you that it can cause other problems.

My friend decided against deferring her august born dc because our school HT advised not to. Apparently he suggested that children should only be deferred if there are significant issues. Just “being the youngest” isn’t enough to warrant it in his opinion. TBH I thought that was sensible advice.

What needs to happen is that children who struggle in certain areas - no matter their birthday - are given the support required. A blanket “just defer the young ones” just kicks the can down the road.

My ds7 is the smallest in his year and he has a March birthday. No option to defer him!

FWIW I’m August born.

Of course it depends on the reason, especially when a third of the school year can technically defer. It's bonkers when you think about it and should really be based on age but on need otherwise you get parents deferring kids to gain the social, academic and sporting advantages this brings at the expense of all the other kids.

I do agree. My March born is the youngest in his class…. There are April/may/june born kids in his class, but they are a year older than him. It is getting a bit ridiculous

No it's not unfair. Society is a shared endeavour, not a competition.

Giving a summer born who needs it more time before starting school benefits them, their classmates and society as a whole.

If you were happy with your choices, you wouldn't be worrying about other people.

I'd be fine with deferrals from July/August where there's a reason but kids from May should be with their correct cohort.
Not every parent can afford the extra year of childcare and not every parent knows or cares about their child's education, so you could end up with younger ones being even further behind.

I don't think being older makes a child more likely to hurt another child though, I would have actually thought the opposite.

My dd's birthday is in June but she is very much ready for school, her cousin is very late August born and it looks unlikely he will be ready for school by next September so is expected he will be deferred. I think a May birthday should be too early for deferral though surely there won't be many who do opt for it with a May/June birthday?

I think it is people wanting to be special and infantise their child… I have a late August born. She gets on fine. She is our youngest, Imagine if we had deferred …I would have to have them home an extra year at the beginning and then wait an extra year to finish the primary school , school run. No thanks!

I think some people defer because they want an extra year with their child at home. I think some people defer because their child is not ready academically or socially or physically (eg. not yet toilet trained, unable to hold a pen, still needing a nap etc).

Don't think it matters the reason. It depends on the family.

Schooling is not a competition 😳

This is exactly how it would have worked for me. Both myself and DD are august babies. No deferring. Don't really see the point TBh