Lost weight but husband hasn’t tried

Of course it's not confidential. It's a public forum on the Internet.

Focus on your own weight loss. He may join, and he may not. If you continue to be repulsed by him, discussions about the future should probably happen. For his sake as well as yours.

You still find him repulsive, whether you've said it to his face or not. Not really a nice way to think about someone you supposedly love.

You are being unpleasant. imagine your husband calling you repulsive and tell me that's not unpleasant

DH has been pre-diabetic for a few years and to be honest we didn't particularly take it seriously. That situation is now changing as he's on three different medications and he's doing blood sugar testing every day in readiness for a Diabetic consultant appointment with the very real possibility of insulin injections if things don't improve.
So gradually we have got rid of the sweet stuff and made the switch to sugar free alternatives. We still have plenty of tins which need to be eaten or passed on because they contain a lot of hidden sugar but it's easier if I go along and support him in this rather than have his and her treats - as he would eat my treats anyway! We have added in Chia seeds to our daily food and this is great for helping regulate the blood sugar absorption and helps with maintaining satiety levels. DH would start with one snack and end up having eaten an additional three snacks too because he was 'hungry'!
Maybe you need to do this with your DH - not necessarily tell him but don't buy in the rubbish and swop it for treats he can have. It's great that you have done so well to lose weight. But you can still have things that you like even if it's not recommended, GDD had made some cakes last weekend - not in his diet but who cares? He enjoyed one with a cup of tea - it's all about balance.
Stay positive and keep on with the weight loss - you're doing fine!! Let him keep making his own choices!!

Repulsive is about as unpleasant as it gets, tbh.

So do you and your partner not have sex currently?

Well done on your weight loss OP.
But I have to say, how would you feel if it was the other way around and he posted this? I wonder if theres a bit of “hanger” here? I understand - I got like that when I lost a lot of weight. I was almost envious of the food others were eating even though I was thrilled with my results and I started to look down on people almost. It’s not nice.

Repulsive is a strong word. Wonder whether he felt that way about you when you were a stone heavier?

I think you are being very unpleasant and it's all centered around you worrying that you might not be able to stick to your diet, while he's eating foods you miss.

You need to accept that your weight problem is your own, and there'll always be people eating what you can't.

When I gave up smoking 20 years ago, I had to accept that others around me would still be doing it, even though I was craving nicotine really badly.

It's only when I accepted that, that I was able to kick the addiction.

@FormerlyPathologicallyHappy I agree with that- many women will usually take some action once it’s clear they are really at risk of complications- so many men are utterly pig headed- I would stop having a sex life OP - that might refocus his mind and yes given he clearly is diabetic he should be supportive and make adjustments himself too if he cares about being around for you - I totally disagree with others saying things like ‘bet you are no oil painting either’ that’s irrelevant, you are trying and taking action - and to be honest who wants to see big fat belly’s on display - and I say this as someone on WLI and attempting to lose 4 stone .

You refer to him as unpleasant and repulsive - that’s such an unkind way to speak about someone you love.

The way you talk about your husband is really unpleasant. Are you sure there are no underlying issues here?

I work in a clinic for diabetic complications, 95% of our patients are male type 2 diabetics (type ones don’t survive to need us)

They’re just really hard to reach with health advice.

Shame creates resistance so if he’s feeling any shame on any levell (and from the way you write about him, I suspect he does) about his weight then that resistance will inevitably lead to an increase in whatever made him overweight in the first place.

Has trying mounjaro or something similar been discussed?

Well done on losing a stone of weight.

Well done on your loss, OP, and keep on working at it. It’s hard, and it’s a lifetime determination.

Your DH isn’t ready yet and no amount of you being ready will influence him.

Be a bit careful with how you motivate yourself. It’s sounds as though you’ve used dislike of your obesity to drive you, and of course that is spilling over to dislike of his obesity.

Try and focus on positive benefits to you- less tired, easier to move around, less medication etc. That’s better for you and more sustainable, as well as potentially motivating for him.

DM has been obese most of her life with occasional years of being merely overweight. She’s now managed to be a healthy weight for about 5 years, which is an amazing achievement. However she’s being really nasty about everyone who isn’t. Despite having spent most of her life just like them.

So embrace the positive and be pleased you are in the right place to lose weight. Be empathetic to everyone who isn’t yet.