Lost weight but husband hasn’t tried

People need to be emotionally invested to make hard changes, just understanding the logic isn’t enough.
im not sure how that helps you. I never know what actually flicks the switch for me when I decide to start filling engaging in something like that. All I know is is that it doesn’t work until I do, regardless what my husband says or what I might be reading or knowing.

Crisps and "stuff" are absolutely fine in moderation. There's no reason why you can't have a packet occasionally.

Well yes obviously.

Just like all the overweight diabetic Mumsnetters.

But if forcing people to lose weight actually helped, there wouldn't be any, would there?

He’ll either lose weight or he won’t; you can’t control that and nor should you be able to (or have to!). Presumably you’ve been overweight for a while too - maybe it might help you to reflect on why you haven’t lost weight sooner but have been able to this time, identify what finally pushed you to do it. and recognise that the same process will have to happen for your husband. Maybe it will never happen, and what you do about that and whether you want to be with someone you’re clearly not attracted to is a different conversation.

I could’ve written this post OP, I’m in exactly the same position. Lost a stone and a stone to go. DH more overweight than me and makes no effort. It’s very difficult.

Just leave him be and he'll either change eventually or he won't.

If he doesn't, his health will decline and he'll probably die years earlier than he otherwise would.
This isn't just an aesthetics thing.

OP, I’m not losing weight or dieting (in fact, I’m pregnant so I’m far more relaxed about my macros than I usually am) and if I looked over and saw my DH munching down with his belly out, I’d be repulsed too.

A lot of posters are saying you’re jealous of the bag of crisps. I 100% can see why that’s not necessarily true.

Pigging out glutton isn’t on the “tall, dark and handsome” list people look for when they’re dating. Why would they find it attractive now?

But you'd made yourself fat and diabetic, no?

If you feel more comfortable pulling your top down over your stomach when you're lying on the couch, that's fine but it doesn't mean he has to feel the same.

Just leave him be and he'll either change eventually or he won't.

If he doesn't, then you have a decision to eventually make but I'd leave it until you know you can stick to your diet and continue your own weight loss.

About ten years ago me and OH both needed to lose about 3 stone. When I started I was very clear in my own mind that it made no difference whether OH decided to join me (although I would have liked him to). I didn't expect or need any support, it was something I wanted to do.

I made normal meals with smaller portions and stopped eating desserts and snacks. To start with OH continued snacking but after a month or so he saw that I was losing weight without doing anything extreme or depriving myself, and decided to join me. I didn't even suggest it, I let OH come to his own conclusions. Over the next 8 or 9 months we lost the weight we needed to (and haven't regained it).

That's all you can do OP. Keep going. It's his life, it's up to him.

I know right? It’s infuriating. But it’s not a reach to guess why.

But she’s losing weight. She’s doing something about it. See the difference?

Jeez, bit of critical thinking wouldn’t go amiss on this thread.

Bit rich though when you’re also overweight yourself.

I'd actually be really angry if my DH was diagnosed with T2 diabetes and did fuck all about it, and continued to self-harm with food.

She's not being unpleasant at all. The dh is overweight, not making an effort and she doesn't find it attractive. A man who isn't invested in his own health and well-being is unappealing.

Two seperate issues. First, whether a partner is obliged to change their eating habits to support their partner? Imo, no. Your diet is personal, and you should be able to get on with it regardless of other people. You can't expect others to change to make it easier. You need to rely on your own willpower. Secondly, whether it's unreasonable to feel irritated with a partner who is continuing to behave in a way that's damaging their health, ignoring medical advice. Imo, also no. Its very difficult to empathise with someone who wont even try to improve their health, when the long term impact of that will affect your life too.

Well, her wording may have been harsh and I know some posters are triggered by anything about weightloss on here (I’ve always assumed because it makes them look at things head-on that perhaps they don’t want to address yet) but I don’t know anyone who looks at a large tummy and finds it expressly desirable.

The OP is clearly taking her health seriously and is finding it deeply off putting that her H is not bothering to do the same. They could have supported each other to success.

Sure, but OP’s weight loss, whilst great, is hardly transformational. To be so judgemental of her loved one’s appearance so soon isn’t good.

Exactly - its mot a diet its a life style change and the mindset needs to be there to make it permanent
OP -bear this in mind, you have started but its not a habit yet therefore you could go back, people need to be in the right mindset to make the change

Whilst admirable, you can love someone and not love EVERYTHING about them