Lost weight but husband hasn’t tried

gosh - so only 5% ae women? is that becasue they take better care of themselves?

We are both in our 40's (46) and yes, my husband does things that annoys me, it's normal.....but not to a degree where I've found him unattractive or repulsive.....do you still have a loving relationship outside of this? I know you said you have no intention of splitting up, but if that sides gone you've still got a long time together

Firstly, well done on losing a stone! That's amazing! And the fact you've done it by just changing your diet is even more awesome!

If the sight of your DH on the sofa eating a share bag of crisps and his belly hanging out repulses you then that's quite normal. I think that would repulse most people!

Your DH is being inconsiderate. It's SO important to look after your health, especially if you want to be around to enjoy life.

My MIL was so stubborn when it came to food and would laugh at the doctors who told her to diet. Ultimately it was her T2 diabetes and diet that caused her to pass away, and her weight stopped her doing so many things with her grandchildren.

I'd have a word with your DH. Tell him you're working really hard to lose weight, and that having him sit eating crap in front of you when you've just cooked a healthy meal is rude and inconsiderate. I'd suggest to him that he eats more of the healthy food instead of junk.

Who does the food shop? Can you just not buy crisps and junk?

You are not being unreasonable,if he is diabetic then he's setting himself up for more problems,type 2 can be reversed,.
Good on you for considering your health and keep doing what your doing. He's stuck in his own misery and won't face reality .His loss. If he wants to eat like this then he can go and buy it,you stop buying it.
Yes you should be on this journey together,. Keep going,you may leave him behind,you do t want an enabler or stuck looking after someone with co morbidity 's.Im shocked by the comments ,you go for it and don't let him drag you back.

Perhaps those who think this is ok spend evenings doing the same? Otherwise why defend it?

Why shouldn't they if that's what they want to do in their own homes?

You're moaning about people judging you, while you're judging overweight people who don't feel the need to cover up in the privacy of their own houses.

You do you and forget about others.

Best of luck with it all and fingers crossed that you husband will get into the same mindset as you eventually

Sounds to me that you are extremely controlling and want everything your way. Maybe if you allowed the idea of losing weight as a choice, he may join in. I also bet he feels your “disgust” for his gut, yet the fact that you are diabetic and needing to lose weight so badly indicates that you probably have some real “unattractive” features yourself.

Exactly @Crikeyalmighty Any of us might develop health problems, but we also have to be adults and do our part to manage our medical conditions. Ignoring medical advice, in the knowledge that you’re likely to become really unwell is childish.

@BruFord I think that was exactly what I was getting at - it’s all well and good saying he’s an adult, it’s his business, it will rapidly become OPs business no doubt coping with this if he does get secondary issues - someone I know has to have injections in his eyeballs regularly - I realise anyone can become ill and need support from spouse but in his case it appears to be somewhat self inflicted- would it really hurt him to support his wife and help maybe control his condition too at the same time

I’ve found stopping buying snacks altogether helps. If they’re in the house it’s easy to eat out of boredom or just to enjoy the flavour. To start with it’s hard, but over time you stop looking for extra food/ junk food

@BrendaSmall What will he expect the OP to do when he starts suffering the effects of T2 diabetes, because he’s not managing it properly?

The skin infections, slow healing sores, nerve damage, blurry vision, perhaps even having a toe or part of his leg amputated? It can get really nasty, I know someone irl who has an infected foot due to improperly managed diabetes, it all gets pretty gross.

Will he then expect her to care for him?

I don't think it's awful- especially if you didn't marry him that way. Ultimately, it's about more than looks. He's not healthy, so it's love. And love isn't always flowery language. Love can be tough

I find something like that soooo repulsive. I admire discipline of mind and embracing hard over easy. Major incompatibility 😔

He’s an adult!!
He’s old enough to make his own mind up, he doesn’t need to be hen pecked by the wife!!
Shes not his mother!!!

What people dont realise is that food addictions can be just as difficult as addictions to other things such as alcohol or drugs.

And thats usually what obesity is (if not caused by medical conditions) - a food addiction.

Like any addiction, to beat it, you need to be in the right mindset and have the mental strength to pull through the process. If you are not in that mindset, it will simply not happen.

In your case, I would focus on yourself and your own improvements. Its completely up to your DP if he wants to follow along.

I am also on a bit of a healthy eating initiative, and I dont buy unhealthy snacks for the house any more. I let my DP know that if he wants crisps, chocolate etc, he will need to buy them for himself.

Because I havent been buying for the house, and he's been witnessing me eating healthier and couldn't be arsed cooking his own dinners etc, he seems to have followed suit.

Kazzybingbong

that poster can correct me but she says she works with diabetic complications, I’d assume that’s not normal cases x

My husband and I both lost weight a few years ago, I was happy with where I was then, and to be fair although I’ve love handles back I haven’t put on that much more weight again, he was happy to be fit and healthy and wanted to keep up with what is a slightly more extreme (in my mind, apparently not in others’ they see him as healthy but not extreme) way of living.

There is nothing more depressing, irritating and soul destroying than having someone silently or not judge you for eating crisps or drinking coke (he calls it sugar water) after a hard day’s work, or saying ‘god no’ about a takeaway or commenting on alcohol. While his health has soared, his personality has definitely taken a dip in my mind (although we’ve other problems than this anyway)

Having been in a similar situation you are not in anyway being unreasonable. My ex got to dang near 500lbs and I tried to help him be healthy. He didn't want to be healthy and made a choice to continue to gain weight. You have to do what makes you happy. I left the marriage and I am a thousand times happier & healthier.

Why don’t they survive? That’s scary. My daughter’s best friend is diabetic and this has just frightened me.

If you got to a place where you needed to lose a stone then you must have been like your DH not long ago. Seems hypocritical to be judging him and having such nasty thoughts now you've lost weight.
I know people who struggle with their weight, all of them have lost several times and then put it back on. I do hope you keep it off, but just imagine you put it back on and your DH goes on to social media to say he finds you repulsive.