Is it normal for most grandmothers to leave the country during the expected birth of their grandsom

103 replies

Summer2025 · 08/05/2025 09:22

I am not especially bothered as dh is trying to distance himself (long story and it wasn't an easy decision). But am on civil terms even if we don't meet often and she knows my due date.

She is going abroad for the summer to visit her elderly father, she usually stays 1 to 2 months.

I am just wondering if its normal to show this level of interest. I mean yes she and dh have their issues and I fully support dh prioritising his mental health but does that usually extend to a baby as well? It's not like she asked me or spoke to me re this..

OP posts:

GCAcademic · 08/05/2025 09:27

If she has an elderly parent that she normally spends 1-2 months with, you can't expect her to abandon that responsibility, particularly when you're actively trying to distance yourselves from her.

Seeline · 08/05/2025 09:26

So this is your MIL?

If she visits her elderly father every year at this time, I'm not sure why she would change that this year just because you're having a baby.
Her DF may not be around for much longer. Your baby she will be able to see when she gets back, as often as she wants.

Original poster

Summer2025 · 08/05/2025 09:24

This is also her only grandchild she will ever have in the same country. Daughter no 2 moved to America permanently with her child and due to cost of flights will hardly ever come back so it is a zoom relationship. Daughter no 2 engaged but no children yet, lives in Europe. Daughter no 3 says she doesn't want kids and has never had a relationship at 26 and is anyway v dependent on mum. Dh got a vasectomy.

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