Am I the weird one?

Are you having a laugh? People really struggle to think about hot drinks at the same time as thinking about soft drinks, in the context of having people round and offering them drinks?

And it may never have occurred to you to offer a soft drink with dinner but – brace yourself – it does occur to some of us: I usually get in something like a posh sparkling fruit juice when I'm having people over, for those who won't want to drink alcohol. Sometimes my friends also bring over soft drinks and we have those with our meal. I know, wild!

Having said that, I don't know why the OP can't just say when asked, 'I'd love a soft drink, if you've got anything.'

Demanding two puddings kind of makes me think you're BU, OP!

If I've made a cake or dessert and you don't like it then tough... unless it's an allergy which I would have catered to.

I always have a cup of tea with a meal as well.

My grandparents always used to make a cup of tea when we’d been to the chip shop. With other meals they wouldn’t mash until after we’d eaten (apart from breakfast). Dandelion and burdock goes best with chips (or a lager). I suppose I have my cold drinks during the day. I’ve never really thought on it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

With the drinks, just ask for a glass of water when they're asking if people want hot drinks, and grab a glass/jug of water before sitting down at the table. I think it's a bit rude/odd to expect to be served Coke all the time, tbh. Surely most people wouldn't drink multiple glasses of Coke per day? It's a treat drink, in the same way as a mars bar or a bag of crisps would be treat snacks, not to be consumed in vast quantities throughout the day.

Regarding dessert - you get offered one, and you take it or leave it in this house. I can't imagine anyone expecting me to make two desserts in case they were feeling fussy and refused the first one offered.

Gosh no never! I have a coffee if I eat breakfast...but if I had fish and chips I'd have a glass of orange squash or juice. I drink hot drinks but throughout the day rather than with meals

Haven’t you ever had a cup of tea with a chippy dinner? I usually have a green tea with my tea. I’ve just had a hot chocolate with my breakfast as well. I am northern. 😆

I have noticed over the years if my in-laws are visiting us or we are visiting them if someone is putting the kettle on to make drinks, I am left out because i don't like hot drinks.
What, you're complaining about people not serving you the drinks you want in your own home?! 😆

I find it a hit strange that people have no other soft drink than water. I mean drinking water comes from the tap so it's there by default rather than having to buy...so hardly welcoming.

The only "soft drink" you're likely to find in my house is tonic water, or occasionally sparkling water if I'm in a spritzer phase.

I found a bottle of coke the other day, that I must have bought because someone who drinks coke was visiting. It had a "best before" date of some time in 2009.

I don't know any adults who drink soft drinks, and all my friends' children are grown up.

Well, surely you’re adult enough to have realised we don’t have to abide by what we were raised to think?

I, for instance, was raised to think it was rude to accept any food or drink at the first offer. Only at the third offer is it ok to say ‘Yes, I’d love a cup of tea’. You may imagine my shock when, aged 17 and au pairing in France I turned down dessert twice on my first few dinners with the family, and was aghast that it wasn’t offered a third time, and that, as I’d refused several times in a row, they stopped offering as they thought I just didn’t like sweet things. Not everyone abides by your childhood rules, or thinks that Coke is a normal drink for adults to have with a meal. .

If I knew the person didn't drink tea, coffee or alcohol then they'd probably get water at mine.
I would never think to buy in soft drinks for others and I only occasionally have a can of coke at home.
It seems odd your complaining about drinks being served in your own house? I'd just help myself whenever I wanted.
Next time you visit them just bring a bottle of pop and help yourself to it?

CuriousGeorge80 · Today 10:02
I also think you should get your own drink to go with dinner, but that’s just what happens in my world.

by doing that your singling somebody out for being a bit different (dont mean that in a bad way) and making them feel like theyre not being catered for the same as the other guests

Life frequently brings me examples of people offering a group of people tea/coffee but not offering other drinks to those who say no - with friends, work and family this is perfectly normal I think. I wouldn’t expect family members to offer me something else on those occasions, I would just get it for myself.

I also think you should get your own drink to go with dinner, but that’s just what happens in my world.

Unless they know they are serving a pudding you don’t like (which would be rude), I don’t think you can expect a different one to be available for you.

I don't keep soft drinks in (pop, squash, juice), as I don't drink them but would offer you water at least. If I knew someone who did and came regularly, I'd just buy a bottle of cordial. Ask for a glass of water/ a cold drink when they're doing the teas. They'll soon get into the habit.

If I was regularly having guests over, I would probably keep some stuff in. I mean things like squash, cordial and the odd can of lemonade last for absolutely ages in the cupboard so it's unlikely to go to waste over a long period of time.

I think you need to work past thinking it’s rude. It’s perfectly normal, particularly with people you’ve presumably known for years and who you know are waiting for you to speak up. This is family, including your own husband, not total strangers you don’t want to inconvenience.

ComedycookIt’s usually a verbalised two-way process. When we have guests I’ll ask “Who wants tea or coffee?” at which point everyone pipes up to say “tea please, milk and one sugar” or whatever. And that’s the OP’s cue to say “I’ll have a water / orange juice please.” I can’t fathom sitting in silence and then being annoyed that nobody guessed what I wanted to drink.

or even better how about you ask people who wants a drink and what theyre having and buying soft drinks to give people other options it seems strange to me hes a regular guest they know he doesnt drink what they offer so why not offer them something else makes sense to me

I was raised that way too....but the problem is they weren't raised to offer...so you have no choice!

We don't drink soft drinks, so it wouldn't necessarily occur to me to offer squash with a meal, it's nothing to do with frugality...although, on reflection, alcohol is generally a more limited choice of wine or beer with a meal, whereas soft drinks could be juice (multiple types), squash (multiple types), coke, fanta, sprite, etc., should I buy all of them?

I agree with you about the drinks, if I have guests I will always offer a cold drink to anyone who doesn't drink tea or coffee. The dessert thing is a bit odd though, surely if you're having a meal at their house you either eat the dessert they've offered you or you go without? I wouldn't expect to be offered an alternative option, it's not a restaurant!

It’s usually a verbalised two-way process. When we have guests I’ll ask “Who wants tea or coffee?” at which point everyone pipes up to say “tea please, milk and one sugar” or whatever. And that’s the OP’s cue to say “I’ll have a water / orange juice please.” I can’t fathom sitting in silence and then being annoyed that nobody guessed what I wanted to drink.

I don’t like any other soft drinks. I don’t think a lot of them are healthy, artificial sweeteners or full of sugar, so don’t routinely buy them. My older kids buy their own now.

You see I don't drink alcohol so if I was eating a meal at someone's house and was only offered water, I'd be quite miffed and would consider it depressingly frugal. I don't particularly like fizzy drinks but a cordial, squash, small glass of juice.

I find it a hit strange that people have no other soft drink than water. I mean drinking water comes from the tap so it's there by default rather than having to buy...so hardly welcoming.

Your family if I was your in-laws I would hope your comfortable enough to help yourself

Wisterical · Today 09:34

You can get yourself a glass of water, surely. Re the puddings, are you expecting them to provide a separate one just for you? If so, YABU

bit rude they know he only likes soft drinks not to buy any in for him and bascily tell him to get make himself a glass of water