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Original poster

WWYD - Husband I’m well and I’m due to go on holiday

187 replies

AmIEnough · 08/05/2025 07:36

Hi all! I’m posting for a bit of advice here as I really don’t know what to do. My DH has been on Mounjaro for a period of time and about a month ago became very unwell with an upset tummy. He wasn’t replacing fluids as much as he should and ended up incredibly dehydrated and after three days of continually getting worse he finally collapsed. Long story short I ended up calling an ambulance and they took him into hospital where they gave him bags and bags of fluid and IV antibiotics. He was there overnight and it transpires that they were incredibly worried about him because he has heart disease and his haemoglobin levels were so high that his blood was really thick and they were concerned that he was going to have a heart attack. They actually told him that had I not called the ambulance when I did they would be looking at a very different situation.

Fast forward to today and he’s now got an upset tummy again. I think self-inflicted because he’s gone up to the next dose having only been on the lower dose for one week which is not the norm.

He’s managing it better as he’s drinking a lot and I’ve bought him isotonic drinks to help replace the salts and electrolytes but my dilemma is that my 18-year-old daughter and I are due to go on holiday on Saturday for the first girls only holiday we’ve ever had. It’s taken me a year to save up for it and we’ve booked ourselves a couple of trips.

My question is do we go or do I cancel it or try and rearrange it? I think I’ll probably end up losing all my money and my daughter will be devastated, as will I of course but I just can’t predict how my husband is going to be this time round and whether he will manage things better knowing that his fluid intake was nowhere near sufficient last time.

Just looking for advice really.

To add, his 21-year-old son also lives here and will be around.

OP posts:
C8H10N4O2 · 09/05/2025 08:21

AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 08:12

Yes, the staff at the hospital actually said to him that I saved his life! The more I read these posts the more I am beginning to resent his behaviour. He also ruined my birthday yesterday as a result of this!

Show quote history

He’s a grown adult not a sick child. Is there any physical reason why he can’t follow the standard instructions with the medication and buy his own drinks? Or just turn on the tap and drink water ixed with a pinch of salt and a larger pinch sugar added (which is what I made for the DC when ill rather than buy “isotonic” powders). Either he learns to manage the medication properly or its not suitable for him. There will also be another grown adult in the house.

Does he have form for this kind of behaviour if you are going away/have plans or is this out of character?

kalokagathos · 09/05/2025 08:16

I would go on holiday 💯

Original poster
AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 08:14

Lucelady · 08/05/2025 14:31

If your husband ended up in hospital because of the WLJ he needs to stop taking them. I was admitted to A and E after three weeks due to gallbladder complications. I would not try again.
If he is obese still I recommend a therapist. I lost four stone this way. My excess weight was trauma induced.
Do not cancel your holiday because that feels like cohesive control to me if he is playing the 'don't go card'.
If he doesn't inject again he'll be OK. Jane plan works I believe. Expensive but all done for you.
I'm now 26 bmi from 43. I just stopped beating myself up and quit the booze. His choice.

Wow! You’ve done amazingly well!!! Thank you for your comments x

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 08:12

NeverDropYourMooncup · 08/05/2025 18:24

So, the only reason he survived was - according to him - that you were there? And he needs you to buy him stuff so he doesn't repeat that, despite him being perfectly capable of buying the medication in the first place AND ignoring the directions in increasing dose?

Go on holiday.

Yes, the staff at the hospital actually said to him that I saved his life! The more I read these posts the more I am beginning to resent his behaviour. He also ruined my birthday yesterday as a result of this!

OP posts:
TeenLifeMum · 08/05/2025 23:45

MumWifeOther · 08/05/2025 23:14

There are still many side effects - many of which we don’t even know of yet. It’s much better to do it with lifestyle / diet as a pp said

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It’s been used for diabetes patients for 20 years. Most side effects are mild and reduce so long as you introduce it to your body appropriately.

MumWifeOther · 08/05/2025 23:14

TeenLifeMum · 08/05/2025 12:22

Or just use it as prescribed! There’s a reason for the staged increases. As I’ve gone up the stages I’ve felt less and less side effects. Now I don’t even have any. He also needs to eat foods that don’t trigger the sickness response - does he eat lots of fatty foods?

Go on the holiday and leave him with the isotonic drinks. Have a fab time!

Show quote history

There are still many side effects - many of which we don’t even know of yet. It’s much better to do it with lifestyle / diet as a pp said

lunar1 · 08/05/2025 21:47

I really hope you go on that holiday. He’s deliberately misusing the injections, I’m on them and the main thing they stress is managing dose changes carefully and keeping hydrated.

thismummydrinksgin · 08/05/2025 21:41

His sons around, he is a grown man. Unless he is desperately ill when you are due to go I don’t see why you would stay?

Hotflushesandchilblains · 08/05/2025 18:29

FFS why are you babying a grown man who has another grown man around for support? Why should your daughter lose out because you live with man-babies? Just go. Time for him to grow up.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 08/05/2025 18:24

So, the only reason he survived was - according to him - that you were there? And he needs you to buy him stuff so he doesn't repeat that, despite him being perfectly capable of buying the medication in the first place AND ignoring the directions in increasing dose?

Go on holiday.

coxesorangepippin · 08/05/2025 18:12

I cannot believe you're considering not going

Of course you should go!!

OneTC · 08/05/2025 18:11

Up until your last line i was leaning towards stay but there's another adult around, leave em to it

treesandsun · 08/05/2025 18:05

Having ended up hospitalised because he wasn't following the basic instructions rather than a 'normal' side effect - he then upped his dosage - ignoring the basics of the advice. Go on holiday - he is an adult with an another adult around - why should you two suffer for his stupidity.

uncomfortablydumb60 · 08/05/2025 17:50

You should go DH should stop messing around with his medication
He should have learnt after ending up in A&E

RedToothBrush · 08/05/2025 17:42

Why can't a grown man and his 21 year old son cope without their wife/mother for a couple of days?

Seriously?! I'm failing to see why you can't go.

AngelicKaty · 08/05/2025 17:39

@AmIEnough "... is paying for them privately although I have no idea which company he’s using." 😬Well I hope they're the genuine product and he's not buying them from someone who's unregulated, like a beautician.

Original poster
AmIEnough · 08/05/2025 17:05

Thanks to everyone for commenting. Reading these has made me actually feel quite resentful of my DH for putting us all in this situation! For those who wanted to know, he is using them for weight loss and is paying for them privately although I have no idea which company he’s using. Thanks also to everyone who’s had some sensible advice regarding how he deals with this moving forward. I think he needs a serious reality check!

OP posts:
ERthree · 08/05/2025 15:14

Please go. He is a grown man that is choosing t make himself ill and no doubt thinks if he is ill you won't go away. Call his bluff. Enjoy your holiday.

RosesAndHellebores · 08/05/2025 15:04

Go on holiday and have a lovely time. make sure his pension beneficiaries and life insurance docs are up to date and that you have decent wills

Inmydreams88 · 08/05/2025 14:51

I’m surprised he was advised to carry on taking it after how ill it made him. Sounds like he needs to stop taking it.

unsync · 08/05/2025 14:47

Of course you should go. Why are you responsible for your husband's health. He's an adult isn't he? It's time he started to behave like one.

Do you think he's done this on purpose so that you stay home to look after him? If you do, spend the time away thinking about how you want your future to look. Unless there's a backstory, it rather seems as if you've a manchild alongside your son and daughter. Ick.

WTF987 · 08/05/2025 14:37

Your DH is an adult and capable of looking after himself. What he is doing is self inflicted. Possibly to make himself sick because he doesn't want his mummy (you) going away. Tell him to buck his ideas up and stop fucking about with his health and go enjoy.

Lucelady · 08/05/2025 14:31

If your husband ended up in hospital because of the WLJ he needs to stop taking them. I was admitted to A and E after three weeks due to gallbladder complications. I would not try again.
If he is obese still I recommend a therapist. I lost four stone this way. My excess weight was trauma induced.
Do not cancel your holiday because that feels like cohesive control to me if he is playing the 'don't go card'.
If he doesn't inject again he'll be OK. Jane plan works I believe. Expensive but all done for you.
I'm now 26 bmi from 43. I just stopped beating myself up and quit the booze. His choice.

BlueTitShark · 08/05/2025 14:28

Not sure if the OP is still around but her dh is just…. stupid.

He is taking medication that has given him side effects bad enough to send him in hospital.
And he is increasing the dose? Quicker than he is supposed to too?

Just plain and simple stupid really.

I would move between being really worried about him and being really angry tbh.
Has the doctors not told him about revising the Mounjaro with his GP re dosage etc…? At the very least…

CopperWhite · 08/05/2025 13:57

Your husband is an adult who is responsible for himself. You are not his mother.

Your priority and loyalty lies with the person whose mother you actually are. Whether or not your husband does a good job of looking after himself, you need your dd more than you need him.