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Original poster

WWYD - Husband I’m well and I’m due to go on holiday

187 replies

AmIEnough · 08/05/2025 07:36

Hi all! I’m posting for a bit of advice here as I really don’t know what to do. My DH has been on Mounjaro for a period of time and about a month ago became very unwell with an upset tummy. He wasn’t replacing fluids as much as he should and ended up incredibly dehydrated and after three days of continually getting worse he finally collapsed. Long story short I ended up calling an ambulance and they took him into hospital where they gave him bags and bags of fluid and IV antibiotics. He was there overnight and it transpires that they were incredibly worried about him because he has heart disease and his haemoglobin levels were so high that his blood was really thick and they were concerned that he was going to have a heart attack. They actually told him that had I not called the ambulance when I did they would be looking at a very different situation.

Fast forward to today and he’s now got an upset tummy again. I think self-inflicted because he’s gone up to the next dose having only been on the lower dose for one week which is not the norm.

He’s managing it better as he’s drinking a lot and I’ve bought him isotonic drinks to help replace the salts and electrolytes but my dilemma is that my 18-year-old daughter and I are due to go on holiday on Saturday for the first girls only holiday we’ve ever had. It’s taken me a year to save up for it and we’ve booked ourselves a couple of trips.

My question is do we go or do I cancel it or try and rearrange it? I think I’ll probably end up losing all my money and my daughter will be devastated, as will I of course but I just can’t predict how my husband is going to be this time round and whether he will manage things better knowing that his fluid intake was nowhere near sufficient last time.

Just looking for advice really.

To add, his 21-year-old son also lives here and will be around.

OP posts:
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Devianinc · 27/05/2025 02:04

Is he a 2 year old. You and your daughter should go ahead with your plans. Buy him a case of water before you go. You’re not his mommy. Yucky

ellyeth · 26/05/2025 23:24

As his current situation is partly self-inflicted - and particularly as there will be a 21 year old at home, I think you should go.--

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 11/05/2025 00:32

Enjoy your holiday!

blubberyboo · 11/05/2025 00:29

I hope you went on holiday today. This sounds like a man who only thinks of himself and his vanity. I hope that's all it is and that he isn't trying to control you and your ability to go on holiday. I guess you'll know by now.

BeNavyCrab · 11/05/2025 00:03

AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 08:45

The doctors at the hospital told him to stop taking it but he’s purchasing it privately so hasn’t actually gone through his own GP so nobody knows that he’s actually been ill or been in hospital due to the complications with this drug.

Show quote history

If he's been admitted to hospital then they should have informed his GP of his admission and the reason. However it can take our surgery two weeks to scan in the letter and then if a GP reads it, they will think he's stopped taking it as per advice.

Do you know what other than dehydration they found during his hospital admission? It required antibiotics so there's obviously an infection element. To continue to take it against this advice is beyond very stupid and suggests the medical staff have grave concerns about him using it. It's possible that his collapse was due to pancreatitis which is one of the more serious side effects that can happen. It could explain the pain and nausea. If it was acute pancreatitis then he's putting himself at risk of chronic pancreatitis which is life threatening and needs to stop using it immediately.

Even when you are self funding Mounjaro it's supposed to be being monitored and it shouldn't have been possible to get a higher dose with only one week of 5mg. I have heard of people buying it from two separate places or providing incorrect information or photos purely to obtain it. I have also heard that the monitoring is different between providers, some will phone and talk through the increase in dose before approval etc. As it's remote, it does require the patient to be honest with them and I would be amazed if there wasn't a requirement for him to inform them of any serious side effects. Being hospitalised and advised to stop taking it is certainly something they need to know!

As a diabetic NHS patient I had a nurse appointment every two weeks at the start until I was on a stable dosage and blood tests every 3 months. I am always advised of the danger of pancreatitis and possibility of other serious side effects and told to call immediately should I even suspect that there's something like that starting.

With him continuing against medical advice I would definitely be making his GP aware as it could be very dangerous. I know that losing weight is very difficult but so is dealing with a serious chronic illness that you bring on yourself. Nobody would want to take a potentially life improving treatment away from someone, without a good reason. He needs to at least go to the GP and talk through it, so he's got an informed decision if he insists on continuing Mounjaro.

Mere1 · 10/05/2025 15:31

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 08/05/2025 07:42

His bahaviour is causing him problems. He seems quite content to play dice with his health, despite being so ill, he's happily fucking around with dosage, etc.
He's a grown man. If he gets ill again, hexand his adult son can sort it.
Don't deny your daughter and you a booked holiday. He's a fuckwit, and you are not his mother

This.

Thistlewoman · 10/05/2025 11:07

AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 10:33

Only that we had to cancel plans with friends as he wasn’t well enough to go

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Go on holiday with your DD.
In your heart you know this man is trying to exert coercive control over you. It worked on your birthday-now he is using a similar approach for your long anticipated and hard-saved-for holiday with your DD.
If you let him ruin this holiday he will use this behaviour again...and again..

Cherryicecreamx · 10/05/2025 10:22

Your add of your 21 year old son being around answers that. He's old enough to check on him and call for help if he gets in a bad way. Go on your holiday.

Mackerelfillets · 10/05/2025 09:14

AmIEnough · 09/05/2025 08:45

The doctors at the hospital told him to stop taking it but he’s purchasing it privately so hasn’t actually gone through his own GP so nobody knows that he’s actually been ill or been in hospital due to the complications with this drug.

Show quote history

The GP will get a discharge report from the hospital detailing the issue and treatment he has had. There will also be a paramedic report. They might contact him for a follow up review.

godmum56 · 10/05/2025 08:24

AngelicKaty · 09/05/2025 23:56

She shouldn't have to, but it's better to manage his stupidity from a distance than cancel her holiday, which is what she was considering.

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Nah, better he should manage his own stupidity

pollymere · 10/05/2025 06:21

Self-inflicted. It's a nasty drug that does horrible things to people. He shouldn't be using it if he's reacted like that.

Go on your holiday.

KnittyNell · 10/05/2025 00:04

BakelikeBertha · 09/05/2025 21:08

OMG! People who behave like this make me incredibly mad OP, so I'm glad you've found your anger, don't be afraid to unleash it on him either, he's being incredibly irresponsible, and not only affecting his own life, but your's and his kids too.

If you were to decide not to go, I doubt very much whether your daughter would forgive you, or him, what a selfish man he is. I would also point out to him, that he hasn't gained his weight in a week, so what makes him think he should lose it in a week, he's just being ridiculous. Can I ask please, just how overweight he actually is, and whether he's tried to diet previously, or just sees these new drugs as a quick fix?

Definitely go on that holiday, and don't even give him a thought, just text his DS, once or twice a day to make sure that he's happy that his DF is OK, but don't show your DH that you care while you're away at all, maybe just let him know you've arrived safely, and forget about him after that.

Enjoy the time with your daughter, I hope the holiday is everything you've both been looking forward to.

Are you for real?
What an awful way to treat a spouse!
Just horrible.

AngelicKaty · 09/05/2025 23:56

godmum56 · 09/05/2025 19:56

hes a grown up. She shouldn't have to "manage" him

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She shouldn't have to, but it's better to manage his stupidity from a distance than cancel her holiday, which is what she was considering.

Shotokan101 · 09/05/2025 22:50

Go - make sure he keeps his phone on him - he'll be fine in hospital...

...why haven't you got travel insurance to cover you BTW..... 🤔

Cornishclio · 09/05/2025 22:35

He sounds like an idiot and I would definitely not cancel your holiday. I would not have cancelled your birthday meal either. You should have left him at home. It sounds like he is taking this drug unsupervised by a doctor which is irresponsible. If the hospital doctors told him to stop taking it and he is still on it then he doesn’t deserve emergency treatment should the same thing happen again. Selfish idiot.

SparklyLeader · 09/05/2025 22:10

Before you go, and you and your daughter should go, make sure his life insurance is up to date because he is definitely playing it fast and loose.

jay55 · 09/05/2025 21:18

You’d not stay home if he had a hangover, this is just as self inflicted.
Have a fabulous time.

BakelikeBertha · 09/05/2025 21:08

OMG! People who behave like this make me incredibly mad OP, so I'm glad you've found your anger, don't be afraid to unleash it on him either, he's being incredibly irresponsible, and not only affecting his own life, but your's and his kids too.

If you were to decide not to go, I doubt very much whether your daughter would forgive you, or him, what a selfish man he is. I would also point out to him, that he hasn't gained his weight in a week, so what makes him think he should lose it in a week, he's just being ridiculous. Can I ask please, just how overweight he actually is, and whether he's tried to diet previously, or just sees these new drugs as a quick fix?

Definitely go on that holiday, and don't even give him a thought, just text his DS, once or twice a day to make sure that he's happy that his DF is OK, but don't show your DH that you care while you're away at all, maybe just let him know you've arrived safely, and forget about him after that.

Enjoy the time with your daughter, I hope the holiday is everything you've both been looking forward to.

TheMVPSTurningmyheartbeatup · 09/05/2025 20:46

He should've took the hospitalisation as a warning but nah upped the dose .. what an idiot.
Go your holiday.

godmum56 · 09/05/2025 19:56

AngelicKaty · 08/05/2025 12:34

You have a mobile phone OP and you can manage this from abroad. Send messages to DH and his DS at regular intervals throughout the day, every day, to ensure your DS is managing his fluid intake and he's generally doing OK. Warn him in advance that you will be doing this because (a) you love him, (b) you don't want him to die, (c) you don't want to disappoint your DD, and (d) you don't want him to call you a "nag"! 😂
I understand why you're worried OP, but you and your DD should have your holiday and enjoy it, while "the men" act like grown-ups and take care of themselves properly. 🤗

hes a grown up. She shouldn't have to "manage" him

Maninpeace · 09/05/2025 19:51

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 08/05/2025 07:42

His bahaviour is causing him problems. He seems quite content to play dice with his health, despite being so ill, he's happily fucking around with dosage, etc.
He's a grown man. If he gets ill again, hexand his adult son can sort it.
Don't deny your daughter and you a booked holiday. He's a fuckwit, and you are not his mother

Is the correct answer/advice.

Thefsm · 09/05/2025 19:35

He’s a total moron for taking higher dose with only one week on the lower dose. I had horrible side effects going up from 2.5mg - 5mg dose after a month.

go on holiday tell him to drink more fluids and call hospital if he needs to. He’s a grown up so he should manage his own health

Dogsbreath7 · 09/05/2025 19:24

Purpl · 09/05/2025 18:13

I think you should go. Why not buy him one of those water bottles that say 9am 10am throughout the day and tell him to set hourly phone reminders. This skinny jab is dangerous the last thing he should have done is go up a dosage to be honest but he’s an adult so it’s down to him. Ask your son to pop in too and message him often.

Show quote history

It is not a skinny jab. It is a weight loss jab.

It is not dangerous. You clearly know nothing so please refrain from pontificating.

Some people drink and drive or speed. Driving is not dangerous just how people do it. Same with MJ. If you are at all interested come and join the thousands on the other threads who have not ended up in hospital.

Dogsbreath7 · 09/05/2025 19:21

Go he is a dick. You are not leaving him alone- son is there but people like him give MJ users a bad name. There is no need to end up in hospital and cost the NHS money. Until he is stable he should not have stepped up never mind to do so after a week. Tell him to ‘count the clicks’ and drop his dose back.

NellieJean · 09/05/2025 18:52

Definitely go and encourage him to do the same if ever the positions are reversed not that they will be of course because you wouldn’t ever get into the same mess.