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Original poster

Should my boyfriend help out when he stays over

89 replies

Saira90 · 08/05/2025 06:59

My boyfriend stays at mine 2/3 nights a week usually. I cook and we often get a takeaway on a weekend. I’m starting to get annoyed that he never offers to wash up even when it’s the takeaway night.

I think last night has been the final straw, he came round but we agreed he wouldn’t stay over as he is up really early for work today. I cooked, and he basically said ‘you sort that (washing up) out and I’ll be waiting for you in there (bedroom)’.

When I walked in he was led naked playing with himself. We would usually be intimate after dinner but this was so off putting.

Does this improve with some stern words in your experience?

OP posts:
Original poster
Saira90 · 08/05/2025 07:13

Purpleturtle43 · 08/05/2025 07:02

That would really put me off too. If you are making dinner for him the least he could do is the washing up. Let me guess, he still lives with his parents?

His attitude doesn't bode well for the future. Who pays for the food/take aways?

Yes he does. I pay for the food I cook and he usually pays for the takeaway.

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 08/05/2025 07:11

Jeez. Get rid.

randomchap · 08/05/2025 07:10

So you were doing the washing up while he prepared himself for sex?

What a gentleman

He doesn't sound particularly mature, or even nice

CharSiu · 08/05/2025 07:08

The fact he needs telling. I wouldn’t have put up with it at all, best behaviour at first as well, Possibly dragged up.

My DS cooks for his GF a lot or if she does he cleans up. That’s how he has been raised.

LillyPJ · 08/05/2025 07:07

You say you're starting to get annoyed. Tell him what you expect from him. He won't work it out if you feel annoyed but don't say. Many men are bad at working things out like that. Just be straight - 'You wash up. It's my turn to relax.' Then leave him to it.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 08/05/2025 07:06

Nah throw him back OP, he should be on his best behaviour but hes shown you he is a lazy sod.

anytipswelcome · 08/05/2025 07:05

Did you still shag him after that?

Dreco · 08/05/2025 07:04

Next time he comes over you ask “are you cooking or doing the washing up?”

don’t put up with this as it’s simply telling him that you’re willing to be a skivvy

Purpleturtle43 · 08/05/2025 07:03

BunsenBurnerBaby · 08/05/2025 07:02

How old are you both? Would be much clearer in my expectations: I cook, you wash up. If he’s 17 give him a chance to shape up (but only one). Otherwise throw him back. This is not a good one.

Even my 13 year old would know to offer to wash up if someone had cooked dinner!

Purpleturtle43 · 08/05/2025 07:02

That would really put me off too. If you are making dinner for him the least he could do is the washing up. Let me guess, he still lives with his parents?

His attitude doesn't bode well for the future. Who pays for the food/take aways?

BunsenBurnerBaby · 08/05/2025 07:02

How old are you both? Would be much clearer in my expectations: I cook, you wash up. If he’s 17 give him a chance to shape up (but only one). Otherwise throw him back. This is not a good one.

Zanatdy · 08/05/2025 07:02

Grim. Have you spoken to him about it? Why didn’t he wash up and you wait in the bedroom? Yes it’s rude.

ScrewedByFunding · 08/05/2025 07:01

Well that would have been the time to say something, why didn't you?

TwilightSkies · 08/05/2025 07:01

What does he add to your life?

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