Should my boyfriend help out when he stays over

Oh stop it now. I dumped a bloke who didn't wash up after I cooked twice I a row and then he tried to cook putting pasta in cold water.

I didn't want to go out with a child so quickly moved on.

Grim. He's not enhancing your life, he's using you for his own needs.

Are you both very young? Set expectations. If he doesn't improve, throw him back. You deserve better.

From the way he’s behaving, I’d assume he’s a teenager and you’re his first ever relationship.

But sadly, I bet the truth is, he’s a grown man who is a complete misogynist and believes it’s your job as a woman to cook, clean and service him 🙄

Honestly, just dump him.

No doubt he’ll soon by online maoning about the “lonely man epidemic” accepting zero responsibility for the reason why no one wants to be with him 🤷‍♀️

This is unacceptable and selfish. He’s an adult. Personally I’d end it - he’ll only get worse if you live together or have kids. It’s basic decency and courtesy. If you decide to stay please be don’t let anything slide in terms of his behaviour because if he carries on like this when you’ve had kids the resentment will kill your relationship.

Argh!

I dated a man like this and let it go on far too long. He would rock up, I’d cook, clean etc… then he’d scoot off to bed whilst I was downstairs sorting things and tidying up. In the morning I’d wake up and make him a coffee and bring it upto him. All while he was lying there entertaining himself and expecting me to join in.

In hindsight he added nothing to my life, it extended so much more to the lack of help when he was essentially living in my house half of the week, but this should have been my first sign to run.

he’s shown you who he is, heaven forbid you go on to marry him or have children, it’ll never improve.

Some mumsnetters seem to have the philosophy is “any man is better than no man”

How long have you been with him?

You don’t have…. Children do you Op?

He is vile. I wouldn't give him a chance to improve. Truly, get out now while it's still early days!

Oh dear. Learn from this

And his good points are???

Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

Id end this only person he cares about helping out is himself .
“you sort the dishes” I will be in there for my sex on tap . Fuck of would have been my reply to that .

Why have you not said anything to him? Surely you could have said no it's your turn to wash up, I've cooked you a meal? Did you have sex with him after he'd ordered you to wash up? 🙄

Dump him unless you’re prepared to take over mothering him from his bio mum.

Is this the life you want?

Yes- carry on
No - that will require action

• you speak to him and tell him to step up and share responsibilities
• you tell him why and finish it.

‘you sort that (washing up) out and I’ll be waiting for you in there (bedroom)’.

Well that was the time to tell him that no that wasn't happening!

I mean do you want to try to "improve" things?

Common decency would dictate that he offered to wash up after you've cooked.

Has he no manners?

What happens when you stay at his?

Dump him. If he can't see anything wrong with this you will spend a lifetime being his maid. Don't negotiate and ask him to help, he will for a time but it will slip and you will have to complain again and again. It will be miserable. Dump him now and move on.

Please list his good points, I will be back in 1 second

do honestly think this is ok and you stay with him? really?

This sounds so unappealing, of course he should be helping even though it's your house. My now DH bought me a vase the first time he came around and he made sure to bring fresh flowers every time he came over to keep it filled up- he also would cook, help clean (usually insist on doing it but I never minded helping). Just because it's your house, it doesn't mean he shouldn't do anything, this is a glimpse into how he would be if you lived together; lazy and taking you for granted.

Yanbu. When I was dating my husband I was in a shared house and when I cooked he washed up, washed my housemates stuff up (as was aware that having an extra person stay over in a house that's already busy can be an inconvenience) and took the bins out. Without asking. It showed me that he was considerate and fair.

I can't believe he actually told you to sort it out as well, so he dies know it needs doing (it's not just something he forgot in the heat of the moment)

Omg talk about way to make your fanny clamp shut. He expects you to cook clean then suck his dick when you’re finished? Please tell me you don’t shag him

If you want a relationship with this man ,be clear about expectations and stick to them. Some young men really do believe that woman want to do all the domesticity and he should be swiftly told what you want in a relationship.

Of course YANBU! He should be helping with the cooking or the washing up. Does he pay for his share of the groceries on the nights that you cook?

You shopped it, you paid it, you cooked it, you cleaned up after it, and you laid for it.

And I bet he never even brought as much as a bunch of daffs with him. Or even gave you an orgasm.

Am I right?