Should my boyfriend help out when he stays over

LTB. This is so depressing to read.
No dates?
Letting you cook and then wash up,? waiting naked to be "seen to"?
Please raise your standards.
Today.

Oh dear. Another man-child who thinks the world revolves around his needs and has zero insight into the world of adulting. I expect his mother washes his pants too.

You should have said “sorry, I find men who won’t help with the washing up a total turn off”.

Send him back to mummy.

He is a knob.
Text him, 'You don't meet my minimum standard for an adult male. Wishing you all the best. No need to reply.'
and block.
No need to hear any, '...but I thought you liked washing up' crap.
I am sure alot of us have had a 'what the hell was that' moment.
Chalk it up to experience and have better rules about equality in the future.

This is unbelievably disrespectful imo - “me alpha male, you cook and shag”. I wouldn’t give him a single more second of my precious time if I were you OP.

He's terrible. Stop indulging this lazy immature man child.

You saw to him - did he see to you?

In the most literal sense: what a wanker. Bin him.

Yeah … sorry, OP, but the combination of this post and your first one gives a pretty clear picture of exactly how he sees you and how he makes you feel, and it’s not great, is it?

You deserve better, get rid.

You are the one that needs the stern words. You are not in a relationship, this is a booty call (haven't used that phrase for ages). Basically he comes around for food and sex. Forking out for a takeaway once a week for him is a small price to pay. Do you ever actually go out, on dates, do things which don't involve you paying, cooking, cleaning up or 'seeing to him'? Try suggesting dating for a while, and take sex off the table and see how he reacts.

Oh love, he is showing you who he is. A lot of us have been there, and it usually doesn't get better. Leave him and find someone who wants a mutually respectful relationship. Will it hurt at first? Probably - break ups always do but I promise you will be happier in the long run x

What a selfish prick

Bin him. He's not doing anything to try to make you feel good, is he?

How many times have you cooked for him?
How many times has he cooked for you?
What does he add to your life? Would you want a daughter (or son) of yours to end up with a man exactly like him?

Does this improve with stern words?

Do you want it to? Someone who’s happy to leave you to do all the work may improve a bit with stern words (but who wants to parent their partner) but it’s never going to be long term because stern words can’t make him respect you. And it’s a lack of respect that makes an adult leave their partner to do all the work while they relax.

Ughhh. No. He's doing this because clearly calling in at the takeaway on his way home is cheaper than calling into a "health sauna".

You’re just an appliance to this man. He’s using you.

I guess if he has some hugely redeeming feature which compensates for being a lazy sod - at a minimum I’d say being a multi-millionaire and amazing in bed, then that’s okay. Otherwise he sounds like a cocklodger with limited merits.

What have I just read?

He’s done a right number on you. You shop, cook, wash up and then wank him/shag him. Then he gets up and goes home?

Come on woman! Dump his sorry arse. He’s treating you like shit.

Wait, you actually ‘saw to him’ after that? Why? You clearly didn’t want to.

So he visits for food & sex (not even mutual?)?

Don't let yourself be used like this Op.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to to make a man happy.

He’s using you. He’s having a lovely time - a lovely meal, sex, gets up and leaves.
It is appalling. No thought for you at all.
He is lying in bed in your home masturbating while you are doing the dishes.
Please raise your standards and your respect for yourself. This man has no respect for you or your home.
You had sex with him when you clearly didn’t want to.
Edited to add: doesn’t he ever take you out anywhere?

If I'm a guest at someone's house for anything more than just dinner then I will be doing something to help out. At that point you are part of a household (for now) and so everyone chips in. Even at dinner you take plates to the kitchen or whatever.

You are spending 2/3 nights a week together so way past the point of guest to be waited on hand and foot. This suggests he'll be a lazy sod if you move in together expecting you to be the housekeeper.

What a turn off. Reminds me of that horrible saying about women in the kitchen, etc.

When my two DS were teenagers, we had an arrangement that one of us cooked, one washed up, one dried up and put away. Actually, that was probably from age 10 or so. I wanted them to learn how ro cook and be self sufficient. If I go for a meal at a friend's house, I always take something and help clear up after.

You've got to either nip this is the bud and be more vocal or just chuck him back because, in honesty, you shouldn't have to point it out.