I run a local theatre group in a very rural area with a team of volunteers.
We borrowed some costumes from another theatre. One volunteer took a costume home to mend, then asked if she could keep or buy it. The lending theatre, while apologetic, said no—but she could borrow it.
She reacted badly, accusing them of being ungrateful because she’d repaired the costume. That same night—at 11:30pm—she returned it to our theatre. She didn’t have a key, so I had to meet her outside. Meanwhile, I was getting messages from the lending theatre asking what was going on. All this happened late on a Friday night—very stressful and embarrassing.
The next day, after speaking with our committee, we sent her a gentle, informal message saying we were disappointed. We made it clear volunteers can’t just turn up at the theatre late at night. We also acknowledged the good work she’d done on the costume, but reiterated that she couldn’t keep it. Some committee members wanted to ask her to leave outright, but I suggested giving her a chance to respond.
She didn’t reply—but posted veiled threats and angry memes about me on Facebook.
After two days of silence, I removed her from our online group. Her Facebook posts made it obvious she wasn’t planning to come back.
Then things escalated. She posted a long rant on Facebook attacking me personally—saying I was useless, a single-mother no-hoper, that my kids are “nutters,” that the theatre is filthy, no one should eat in the restaurant, and more.
The post was up for a few hours, then deleted—probably after someone advised her to take it down.
She also sent me two direct messages full of personal abuse—calling me a control freak, mocking my family and deceased father, claiming the theatre is just my vanity project. It was vile. Really awful stuff.
I blocked her, but a friend is monitoring her posts. Over the last few weeks, she’s posted over 100 aggressive memes clearly aimed at me—saying things like she wants to throw a toaster in my bathtub, that I’m a witch, a bitch, a lowlife, and that she doesn’t take crap from me, she doesn't care if people don't like her... it just goes on and on and on. She never names me, but it’s obviously about me, and everyone local would recognise it. She must spend so long looking for all these memes.
My sisters say to ignore her and let it burn out. But it’s been over a month now, and the constant posts are exhausting. She rarely gets likes—just the same one person overseas who doesn’t even know me or anyone I know. Still, doing nothing about this is taking everything I’ve got. I've become very stressed about it all.
She’s someone who tells a lot of odd stories, dominates conversations, shares inappropriate personal details, and seems to be in her own fantasy world. She's never worked. She lived with her parents all her life. She's 50-odd now. I don’t know what’s going on with her mentally. I just know I can’t live like this forever.
Part of me really wants to respond—especially because she’s dragged my children into it. But I think I need to play the long game and hope she burns out… right?
Has anyone else had any experience like this? What should I do?