Dads staying overnight on children’s ward

I found rational thought was entirely abandoned by my spiralling brain when my child was ill in hospital so I can fully understand why op is hung up on this.

You’re really kind to think like this @IWantAShitzu
I do think on a children’s ward it’s totally fine though for the dad or the mum to stay.
I hope everything improves for you soon x

This.

No I’d not care and I’d not expect anyone to comment if it was my family. It’s a horrible situation to be in so I don’t think worrying about that is necessary! Anyone who commented would get a mouthful!

I’ve been in the position of staying on an open ward with my child and I would not mind at all if a child’s dad had stayed- it’s a needs must emergency situation but the lack of curtains isn’t really acceptable.

Maybe it is just me… but I can’t comprehend why you’re giving anyone else, but your family, a second thought in this situation. Why is a stranger a priority over your family?
I don’t mean to sound rude but this is utterly bizarre!

My DH and I split this equally - we have probably around 10 over nights a year now, more when younger. When DS was born and I has to bf, he did them all for around a year, it wouldn't even occur to me that it would be a problem and I think it's a little bit sad that others might

How? Vulnerable girls can get over their feelings?

Or are the same men that make YOU feel uncomfortable actually fine after their babies are born??

Op I think what you did was very kind. It's not about being the default parent, it's a bit of decency understanding that some people will feel uncomfortable in that situation. It's shit you had to though as the curtains really should have been sorted.

I agree with this. After my first birth - when I hadn't slept for three days and has lost a lot of blood - I passed out with my baby on my chest and the only reason she was safe is because Dad stayed overnight to watch her.

Dad's stay in maternity wards to care for the babies because often the mothers are unwell/have been through an ordeal and the baby needs support.

I don't see how it's fair to not have dad's look after the babies on labour wards if mums are unwell, particularly if they've just had a C-section/traumatic birth/lost a lot of blood etc

It's probably a different conversation for another thread because it's something that always ends up in a heated debate on MN, but in my opinion men shouldn't be allowed to stay overnight where women are sleeping. Sometimes post birth, sometimes post C-section. It's a vulnerable time and many don't feel comfortable with unknown men there, especially as curtains should remain open at night. One poster on here had to report the man in the bay next to her for trying to pressure his girlfriend into having sex in the ward, a few hours post birth. No we can't control all the weirdos but I firmly believe we shouldn't allow unknown men any access to women on a maternity ward. Midwife care and staffing levels is another issue entirely and the issues shouldn't be conflated, yes it needs fixing but I don't think the answer is to let men stay overnight on a women's ward. Everyone thinks their husband or boyfriend is behind reproach and would never do anything dodgy, but not all weirdos are single, some just hide it well.

That's my opinion, shared with many thankfully, but I won't be responding further on it as I said, it's a divisive topic for another thread and I don't want to detail the OP's thread.

Fathers have as much right to stay there as mothers?

When my son was incredibly ill in A and E one night, the other parent in the little bay, overseeing a boy nearly dying with a asthma attack, was a dad.

I hadn't thought about it until you mentioned it now.

I had no child care so was trying to keep my one year old and me from falling off my 4 year olds bed. We were both curled up on the foot end.

Why shouldn’t men be with their partners/babies on a maternity ward though? Especially as midwives are so stretched. Theres weirdos everywhere but surely the majority aren’t remotely interested in other women post birth?

I can’t see the problem, the children are the patients, not the adults. So you are being unreasonable about dad’s staying. You are not being unreasonable to expect curtains if they are usually provided though.

Perhaps the wrong question?

l wish your child well and feel for you at this awful time. ❤️

This is a really weird one but I totally get what you mean and it’s definitely not just you.
on the surface of it I’m like ‘no of course that’s not an issue they’re there to care for their child…etc’
But I have a disabled DS and when he was little he had a stint in hospital whilst I had a breast fed baby at home who needed me on a night so I’d do days and DH would do nights. We were often moved or had new people arrive during the day ‘always mums with little ones’ and I always felt the need to explain DH would be coming, about my baby at home…and that DH was actually a doctor at that hospital himself. I know I did that because I wanted those women to feel ‘safe’ with him. I will add that I’m a survivor of sexual violence so maybe that impacts.

I imagine they would be focused on their poorly child to worry about random women.

Why shouldn’t a dad stay?

Anaesthetist so in kids wards all the time. Least 40% of those staying are dads

It was very kind of considerate of you to do that. I don’t think it was necessary because at the end of the day in that situation other people’s discomfort is not your problem. It’s a Dad looking after a poorly child.