Dads staying overnight on children’s ward

We spent just over 2 months in GOSH with my grandson , he was in the cardiac ITU for a while and then went to the 'normal' cardiac ward . I alternated with my dd and sil , I wouldn't have cared who I was sleeping near , I was just so relieved he was getting better. The worry was horrific, we nearly lost him, We were all just parents/grandparents with very unwell children, we celebrated everyone's improvements and consoled each other when things weren't going so well. We were 'lucky' in that we had our own room . Grandson has had subsequent stays in our local hospital and dads have stayed with their children ,I did the night shift to give my dd a break and get some proper sleep at home. I wasn't in the least bit worried who else was with their child, my sole focus was on my grandson.

Dh stayed with ds2 a few years ago when he was 12, nearly 13. He would have been really scared on his own. I stayed with ds4 aged 11 last month, I couldn't have left him either.

At our local hospital they have a 4 bed bay for the teenagers. At the big children's hospital they have an adolescent ward for children aged 11+ although ds4 was on a general surgical ward.

I couldn’t care less which parent stays with their child as long as they are quiet! So many families seem to think a family gathering is appropriate at 22:00!

This is it, I would feel uncomfortable about it but accept that it's my issue and would not voice or show my discomfort about it

We spent about three years turn taking on who sleeps on the camp bed in a children's ward. This never occurred to either of us as an issue. One dad was once a bit of a fog horn snorer and once there was a phantom farter on the ward.... and apart from that completely uneventful stays. Everyone just got on with it.

Hey OP 👋..
Sorry to hear your baby is sick , hard going for you & your family x …

I wouldn’t mind at all, dad being on the ward with his sick baby , I’m sure no one would…
Wishing you well ..x

When my DS was in hospital recently we did alternate nights each as we weren’t getting any sleep in hospital and hadn’t had any for a few days before when he’d been poorly. He was there because he was looking after our son, he wasn’t paying attention to anyone else there.

hope you never travel on an overnight flight.

I think that parents of either sex have the right to be with their sick children, and that trumps anything else at such a difficult time. The dads will not be there to drool over exhausted mums dozing on chair beds.

I'm sorry you lovely child is so sick.

You should have swapped with your husband. I assume he knows how to behave around other people.

In our local hospital they have teenagers in with babies so could be any age

I'd be ok with it, next time think of your own health and swap with your husband. ❤️

I wouldn’t care whether it is a dad or a mum staying with other children on a children’s ward.

I say that as someone who absolutely did care about potential fathers staying overnight on a postnatal ward when I had my last child. As it happened, COVID struck at the perfect time and I had the post natal ward to myself, but I was prepared to discharge myself immediately after a c section in order to avoid a postnatal stay with men. Postnatal women are vulnerable physically and emotionally. The vulnerabilities on a children’s ward are different, and mostly mitigated by the presence of one parent per child.

Of course dads should be allowed stay.

I don't think they do that until they are adults. My son was on 3 different wards during his stay (plus PICU) and it was mixed with all of the wards and even in the PICU bay once he was well enough to be moved from a side room.

One ward had 3 separate bays and they tried to have 1 for babies/toddlers, 1 for girls and 1 for boys but it didn't always work out that way for various reasons.

That ward did also have a separate ward for teenagers but my son was 8 at the time so I didn't experience it, though I imagine they will have tried the separate boy and girl bays too when possible.

The other wards were smaller and all open rather than separate bays so doing it like that wasn't possible.

The only time we weren't able to stay with him was PICU. No parents were allowed to stay. On the wards, one parent always stayed from babies to teenagers.

I am a children's nurse, we have dad's stay over all the time, especially in families where the children have frequent admissions and you have to tag in and out to keep some normality. I have never had an issue with parents being concerned about sharing with other parents of opposite gender, even families from strict orthodox religious backgrounds have managed, we are a high dependency unit and policy is to keep curtains open and patients visible at all times except for personal care. I'd be more concerned about patient dignity in older patients than parents. But we also have nurses present at all times so parents are 'chaperoned' in a way.

I am surprised about the lack of curtains as they are there for infection as much as dignity. I'm shocked that hasn't been resolved urgently, or even that it's happened at all...

They allowed me to stay for six night ,s with my then critically ill 16 year old it was an adult ICU,too.I guess it depends on the person and why they were in ,but I couldn't have left him
Once we knew he we. Going to.get better I went home but not in the early dsys.

It's the lack of privacy. I bet they haven't bothered to replace the curtains as it makes the nurses jobs harder.

They can't see what's happening, particularly with children who are alone if people pull curtains shut.

Not every child has a parent who is able to stay with them.

One of the times my LO was in their was small child maybe about 10mths who's Mum was clearly working she was appearing really early morning for 10mins then coming back in for a bit of time in the evening.

I'll thank my lucky stars that I wasn't in that position.

I can see that being really awkward.

I don't even know at what age they separate girls and boys wards. I've only stayed with a toddler which was mixed.

Do parents still stay with children 12+?

The only time this bothered me was when my daughter was in hospital and I was staying overnight. The dad of another child stayed overnight and snored so loudly, it kept me up. No biggie really, my husband is a snorer and I know it can’t be helped (we don’t share a room for that reason). Mum came in next day and proclaimed loudly to a nurse “yeah, he stayed overnight so I could be well rested to come in today, I wouldn’t sleep a wink if I were in here” My daughter (who also hadn’t slept) said to me, in that loud voice kids do “yeah but we might have slept if he wasn’t here snoring so loud” 😳

I wouldn’t let my husband stay in an open ward overnight because it just isn’t fair on everyone, but that’s nothing to do with him being a bloke.

Agree with everyone that fathers can and should stay with their children if that's what works for their family. For us, DH is a better communicator than me, so he's usually the one who stays in hospital when necessary. Maybe that will change when our daughter hits puberty, but for now that's what works. Obviously he's respectful of everyone else on the bay, as they are to him.

If snoring is an issue then other parents can be grateful that it's him there and not me...

I think anyone taking offence to a Dad staying in hospital with his unwell child would be outrageous!

YABU to have not swapped! (Lighthearted and wishing your little one all the best)

When I was 13 I was in a children's ward for about three months. I'd have hated having to sleep with random men in the room. The little girl opposite me had her mum there 24/7 and that was fine.

I am sorry your child has these problems.

I am puzzled as to why you have a problem with men on the ward.

The problem was lack of curtains for privacy. Personally I wouldn't feel comfortable with a strange sleeping in close proximity especially if he snored. I'd probably have stayed awake. I do recognise his right to be with his sick child though.