Dads staying overnight on children’s ward

This is gonna sound a bit rude cause onvisously everyone is there with a sick child. But I wouldn't really care if it made other mothers uncomfortable. I would do what is best for me and my family. We can't expect dad's to eb equal parents and then at the same time feel uncomfortable when they are being equal parents.

My daughter has had quite a few longish stays on a children’s ward and tbh I’ve never given it a second thought when my partner takes a night on the ward so I can get some rest. It also doesn’t bother me sleeping in an open space if there are other men, a lot of the night time HCAs I’ve found are men as well, it is a bit awkward but ultimately we’re all there to look after kids.

We’re about 90 days over 5 months. Curtains though.

It’s parents taking care of children under care of nurses who are at a station so always watching. You were unreasonable to stop your husband taking care of your child. It is ok in that scenario.

You shouldn't be closing curtains while sleeping anyway. The nurses need to be able to see their patients.

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if there was a dad staying on the ward.

I’m so sorry your little one is poorly op.
but agree with the majority. Dads have the same rights as mums to be there. It wouldn’t enter my head to question it. The last time we were in I was so sleep deprived I was hallucinating. If my dh hadn’t have been able to swap so I could sleep I think I’d have been sectioned. Be kind to yourself. Do what’s right for your family 💕 lots of support to you

Hi OP. I hope your little boy recovers. What a tough situation. Ignore the arsey responses you've had, and I'm glad that those who responded thoughtfully have reassured you that your husband can and should share overnight duty xx

I stayed with dc once in a children’s hospital that had twin rooms. So there was me and another dad in a closed room, sleeping beside our two children’s beds, no curtains between the beds. It wasn’t the most comfortable experience tbh.
But he did nothing to make me feel uncomfortable (apart from snoring very loudly), and had as much right to be there as I did.

The curtain scenario is bizzare what if children:babies need personal care etc our curtains were paper just popped some up ourselves if soiled, domestic staff used to change the fabric ones. I’ve been a paeds nurse for 20 years and all sorts of parents and family members stay. All welcome, curtains always open overnight as per ward rules. I’ve also been the parent many times with asthmatic son. It’s difficult I hate being the patient/parent, always me stayed overnight dad for days as couldn’t leave him alone. I hope you’re home soon op sounds a tough admission

I am against men staying on maternity wards overnight.

But I am fully supportive of men staying on children’s wards overnight and I would actively encourage it.

Oh OP, stop worrying about other people and do what is best for you and your family. DS had a week's stay at 10 days old, and first night we had no choice but for DH to take him to hospital whilst I stayed home with DD as I'd had a CS and couldn't drive. My dad took me up the next day, and I stayed so I could bf. It didn't occur to us that other parents would be uncomfortable with DH on the first night, and I had nothing but admiration and concern for the utterly amazing dad in the bay next to me, who simply didn't sleep or eat so he could hold his baby upright to help her lungs clear. I was pretty damn vulnerable, looking back, given I was fresh out of surgery and learning to bf, but it didn't even occur to me to be worried about the presence of dads. They are just worried parents trying their hardest too.

Wouldn’t bother me at all.

And also, the comfort of another parent comes second to the comfort of an unwell child being looked after by their father tbh.

Fathers are allowed to care for their DC. Heck, they may even love them and want to be with them!

It wouldn’t bother me at all, if I even noticed

I totally agree with this. There are single Dads. There are widowed Dads. Someone in my family was a widowed Dad with a four year old daughter.

Apart from a couple of worrying times of viral toddlers trying to touch my baby who is very vulnerable
This is terrifying.

Best wishes to you and your child.

I would imagine they would be focused on their unwell child and wouldn’t really care what everyone else was doing so i definitely wouldn’t have an issue with them being in a mixed bay with mums.

I spent time in hospitals with my DC, usually in a side room, but for one week in a four bed room. There was a dad staying with his DC among the other parents. It didn’t occur to me to find it at all odd or difficult and I am very very sensitive about having single sex facilities in other contexts. We were all supporting our very sick children and that was all that mattered.

Had many hospital stays on bays with our child and never once have Ior his dad been concerned which parent was staying. It makes absolutely no difference. We are all there to look after our sick children. We even use the same toilet and shower.

My partner and I took it in turns to to stay overnight with our oldest when he had a 2 day hospital stay. It didn't occur to me to worry about what other parents thought.

I didn't notice the sex of the other parents who were staying the night either.

Also hope your dc is better soon, it sounds very hard . It wasn't your question but I absolutely think the parent of the eye infection child should have been keeping them well away from yours.

I wouldn't have an issue with it assuming the dad was considerate/quiet etc (same as with the mums!). But I guess we aren't experiencing the reality of those particular circumstances and maybe it felt quite intimate (not sure of the right word) if you felt it was better for you to stay. I think you made a considerate and sensitive choice for the other mums without knowing how they would have felt. Hopefully the curtains will go back up and you won't have a choice to make again but if you did I think it'd be fine to get your DH to stay.

Why should fathers be prevented from
being with their unwell children?

Sorry about your DC OP. No, in a children's hospital I wouldn't think twice about a dad staying over night.

Gosh OP, you’re in a situation that’s unimaginable to most of us yet you’re still considering the feelings of other mothers so sensitively. You sound amazing, and I really hope you’re able to find time to rest amidst everything, and that you have good support around you. Hugs to you x

Some people might be, the overnight person in charge in the children's ward attached to a&e was really funny with me, my seriously unwell preschooler vomited all over my outside trousers in the middle of the night, and over himself and flopped down, then I had to whip them off and rush for help and she just agreed like I was some kind of pervert against children (even though there were none and I was wearing far more than I do in the swimming pool)
Then the next morning I woke to my son crying (in the private room with no other children) and i leapt out of bed to check on him and she freaked out again.

I can only imagine that she thought I shouldn't be there on principle or something and it was super upsetting for me given what was going on.

Sounds an odd set up
wards mine have been in have had cots and beds just for sleeping and a separate play room.
would a mum have been better at keeping the child away from yours?